2007-01-17 02:29:13 · 7 answers · asked by jam master 1 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
A middle aged woman is looking in the mirror and says to her husband 'look at me, my **** are sagging, i'm getting fat, and i'm looking old, pay me a compliment'
Husband says 'well your eyesights f**king spot on' ;-)
2007-01-17 02:50:18 · answer #1 · answered by Tazman 3 · 2⤊ 4⤋
The Minister labored long and hard to deliver his Sunday sermon entitled: "Forgive Your Enemies." Toward the end of the service, the Minister asked, "How many of you have forgiven your enemies?"
80 percent of the congregation held up their hands. The Minister then repeated his question. All responded this time except one small elderly lady.
"Mrs. Jones, are you not willing to forgive your enemies?" the minister asked.
"I don't have any." She replied. smiling sweetly.
"Mrs. Jones, That is very unusual. How old are you?"
"Ninety-Eight." She replied.
"Oh, Mrs. Jones. Would you please come down in front and tell us all how a person can live ninety-eight years and not have an enemy in the world."
The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, faced the congregation, and said: "I outlived the Bitches."
2007-01-17 11:09:29 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I was walking in the Alps last summer and was making my away along a very narrow mountain ledge-barely wide enough for one person to walk. When would you believe it this scantily clad extremely sexy blonde bombshell appeared in the distance on the same ledge coming towards me? Well I was so surprised I didn't know whether to block her passage or toss myself off.
2007-01-17 10:33:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
Disabled toilets, ironically the only toilets you can run around in!
2007-01-17 11:35:05 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wife with best friend
Fred returns home early one day to find his wife in bed with his best friend.
"You no-good tramp!", he shouts at his wife, "Pack your bags and get out! Never darken my door again."
Fred then turns to his best friend and snarls, "And as for you ... Bad Dog!"
:)
2007-01-17 10:32:50 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
HMMMM....
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That's a good question!
2007-01-17 11:01:15 · answer #6 · answered by HardCore 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
me
2007-01-17 10:49:01 · answer #7 · answered by Chimpanzees? Monkey. 7 · 0⤊ 5⤋