I'm scared that i'm going to be a horrible mom i have to go back to work after...?

Question

and i feel like i won't be rising my baby i feel like my sister will be, i have to work full time for insurance i feel like i'm going to miss all the first how do i deal with this??

Answer 1

ok, when i had my first son, i was in the army. I dnt know if u know much about the military, but its a VERY hectic life style. I was a single mom and it was hard. I had the choice to get out of the military but i choose to stay in because at the time that would have been the best for my son. Idk if ur the soul provider for you child, but u are raising them, u r responsible for that lil life. I believe that you are doing the right thing. U r choosing whats best for the baby. Its not always the easiest thing to leave them, its very hard, and sadley u miss alot. but u r providing that child wih what they need, medicle, or w/e. ur baby will get great care with ur sister, and u should feel comfortable leaving her with someone so close to u that u trust. When i was in the military i felt that i never saw my son, and it got so depressing, but juz know that deep down inside u r doing the right thing for ur situation. most woman cant just be that AT HOME MOM we all wana be. also, that baby will always know who u r. u r their mother and nothing will change that. Its not like ur out parting, ur working for a bettr life for ur family. i woul be different if u call ur sister and be like hey will u watch my child so i cango out an party!!! i dnt knwo if i helped u any, but in my opinion, i admire people who do what they have to do, and that BY FAR does NOT make u a bad mother, yet a provider for ur lil bundle of joy!! I wish u th best of luck hun

Answer 2

As a mother of 3, I can feel your concern. When my first child was 18 months, I had to work because her father and I were getting a divorce. until then I was at home with her. It was hard, but to make it easier, I got a job at her daycare while I went back to school. I learned a lot by working at the daycare/preschools. you are not a bad mother, the people who took care of my daughter developed a special bond with her that was comforting. Now, I have a new life, I am married and my husband and I have 2 more children. Again I am a stay at home mom. But, if I had to work, I would rather have a family member take care of my kids. Realize you are giving your child the best care, and the best life you can. Health ins is important. maybe some of those first will happen when you are with your daughter. My mom had a in home daycare when I was a kid, and when those first happened, she waited until the parents saw it first before she said anything about the child doing it in her care so they could experience it for themselves. Maybe yo and your sister can come up with a way like that as well. She doesn't say anything until you have a chance to see it. If you are leaving your child with a trusted family member so you can provide for you and your child....how horrible is that? Express your thoughts with your sister and how you want things done with your child. Everything will work out.

Answer 3

Im in the same boat. I work full time and my b/f stays home with the baby. I already missed the first smile! :( It was hard to deal with, but when I got home he smiled again, so it was a FIRST for me. You just have to keep your chin up. You know that by working you are doing what you have to do to provided for your family! I think its great that your sister will watch the baby, least you know the baby is in good hands. Some moms have to do infant daycare and im sure thats pretty nerve racking for them. Try to save all your vacation time so you can take a week off to be with your baby. Anything like that will give you more time. Good luck to you.

Answer 4

You have a distinct advantage: Babies love their mothers. When you go to daycare to pick up your little one, s/he will beam at you and be very excited. Children go through stages of separation anxiety when they cry. So, even though your baby will be spending many hours with day care providers, it will be separation from *you* that upsets him/her. You are being very responsible by working in order to be sure you have good health insurance for your baby. That is an extremely important responsibility of parents. And, you are fortunate to have a job that provides family health insurance. Rather than calling yourself a horrible mom (which would be someone who beat her baby or otherwise psychologically and physically abused a baby), you're worried about being a negligent mom. You don't need to worry about this. All you need to provide is cuddling, conversation (even with an infant!), lots of mom-smiles, interactive play with you, healthy meals, opportunities for exercise, and basic opportunities for learning (e.g., books (even with an infant!), blocks, and a few simple play-toys). The hint of your real anxiety is in the end: "I feel like I'm going to miss out." That doesn't make you a horrible mom; it makes you a mom who would like to be with her child more often. Enjoy the mornings, evenings, and weekends with your little one and I trust you will feel fulfilled as a mother.

Answer 5

I understand your concerns. I also had to go back to work after both of my children. I am now a single parent and work 40 hrs a week while my family take care of my kids. You won't miss as much as you think. You just need to make the most of the time you do spend with your child. I know you will be tired after work but your child still needs you so spend as much time caring for your child as you can and everything will work out.

Answer 6

You are not a horrible mom for going to work, you are providing for your child! Just make sure that on your days off and after you get off of work you are spending quality time with your child.

Look at it this way, you are setting a good example for your child by showing that life takes hard work and a strong work ethic. It will be those special times that you get to spend with your child at the end of the week that they will remember the most.

Answer 7

Hey it happens to us all. As a Child I would have rather seen my mom working hard and setting a good example on work ethic then have her be home all the time...then again you could wait till they start school to start working.

Answer 8

i know how u feel but think about what u will be doing for the baby once u start getting pay checks cause that baby is depending on u

Answer 9

Babies are pretty boring anyhow , all they do is sleep and eat and poop. I wouldn't worry about it. Maybe next time you should have a baby with a rich guy so you don't have to work

Answer 10

Refuse, what are they going to do denounce you on national TV for staying w. your baby? There's always another way, being poor brings all sorts of freedoms too.