Have children's birthday parties gotten a little carried away these days?

Question

I used to think weddings were become crazy...bigger and bigger and more and more expensive...but children's birthday parties are getting to be like that too.

Here's an article I just read today:

http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/reuters/usreport_life_parties_dc

Do you agree people go a little nuts and that this puts a lot of pressure on other parents too both in attending and to compete so that thier kid feels like they're treated like all the others...I mean what values are we teaching our kids if we do this?

I have a sister who doesn't even talk to me because she thinks I don't do enough for my kids on their birthdays.

Frankly I'd rather spend the money on THEM then on parties where you get a lot of junk you don't need and go broke in the process.

Thoughts?

And PS...before anyone starts with the negative comments know that I give my children the choice of a party or using that money for something they want. I still celebrate with immediate family and have the occasional bbq etc. We get together often enough with other family that we exchange gifts when we see each other, and for the kids a couple of close friends are usually invited and we bowl or catch a movie or do something fun.

And parents with one child, bear in mind when you have two or three you have to do it all EQUALLY too.

Some people use b-days as an excuse to throw an annual party or get together too I suppose...but really...in the cities especially and in schools with 30 kids/class it gets to be pretty expensive to go to two parties a month or so.

Answer 1

I think that the entire concept of spending tremendous amounts of money on children is completely daft! I am 17 and so I still have the opportunity to spend my birthdays with my immediate family; it's always been a modest affair with a few reasonable gifts from my parents and later, a shared cake-and-kickball party with my cousins. It is repulsive to spend so much money on children when they'd be just as happy playing with a ball/jumprope/doll/box, especially when other children have nothing more than a box every day of their lives. It teaches our children that their own pleasure is worth more than another's survival and well-being; and if the trend becomes too widespread I daresay none of us will be celebrating many more birthdays!

Answer 2

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Answer 3

I have to agree somewhat. We do throw our kids a family bday party. They have all the normals there... Grandparents, Aunt, Neice, and a few close family friends. I don't go for the huge party where you invite the class, sports team, scout group... practicly the entire school. If when they get older (teen years) they want to have a few friends over for a sleep over or a small party... thats fine.. but there will be a limit. Another thing that I have a problem with are the gift bags.... why in the world do people think they need to make a gift bag for the people attending the party? You have thrown the party, bought supplies for it, cake, food, ice cream, drinks.... why spend another 20-30 bucks on items that will be thrown away within the week? Sorry, didn't mean to turn it into another question..lol.... Yes there are alot of "keeping with the Jones' " going on now adays..... I like to think KISMIF (keep it simple, make it fun)

Answer 4

Yes, I believe that in general, birthday parties are "out of control". I think it boils down to parents trying to impress others with how extravigant they can make their parties.

While I have not witnessed a party as described in the article, I have attended some pretty over-the-top 1 year-old parties. One reserved a section of a restaurant for about 50 people. It was great and all, but as a kid, it must have been boooooring to be sitting around while adults were filling their faces with roast beef and pasta, listening to speaches about whatever.

Another one was a at a hall at a golf club, where the finest smoked salmon and other things where served.

One refreshing idea I have seen and actually used, is to have some friends and family over to the house for a bar-b-que or whatever, and instead of giving gifts to the child, we encourage people to donate money to a worthwhile cause. For example, this past summer we raised over $200 for the Hospital for Sick Children in Toronto. Not an enormous amount of money, but we sure felt better about what we did, and our children had a blast.

Answer 5

I have four children. I try to make their parties exciting. I feel parents made an effort to spend money on my child and I should spend some on them. I usually spend anywhere from 50 to 100 dollars for the entire party. I am also a preschool teacher so can come up with great ideas. So I become creative with minimal supplies and find great deals for goodie bags. I am proud that my children's friends think our birthday parties are the best ever. We always have it at home and have fun games and a theme. The survivor one was the best and probably cost no more than 50 dollars. Be creative and show an effort it is an important day in your child's life. Just acknowledging it is making an effort that they will always appreciate.

Answer 6

I agree with your decision to have all contact between her and your kids cease. She has had all the time in the world to show the affection, but who knows what is going on in her wacked out head. She definitely has some kind of mental disorder, probably borderline personality disorder, which is very difficult to treat. I would let her know in no uncertain terms that you've gotten her message that your kids are an afterthought, and you don't want to raise them in those circumstances, feeling like they aren't good enough. Stand tough, no matter what the FIL says; this is YOUR life and YOUR kids - it's your job to raise them in the best environment possible, and that doesn't include being exposed to a person who is supposed to love them but you "know how she is/this is just her way". Why should you be forced to tolerate that? If she tried to show affection, I might let her come around, but she doesn't so guess what, grandma - you are officially off the list. Deal with it. If the kids want to get to know her when they are grown, then that's their decision, but for now, it's not healthy for them. Best of luck, stay strong and focused on the well-being of your kids; that is your job and I know you can do it!

Answer 7

I have three children who all have their birthdays in the summer. All three birthdays are in a 2 week time period. If i spent that much money on each child every year i would be bankrupt in no time. Because their friends are often busy at camp or family vacations that time of year we have a family day usually at the beach or a theme park. Before school ends they are each allowed to have a friend or 2 to sleep over and watch movies.

Answer 8

The last couple of years, I have had family parties based on a theme. Everyone gets involved. Last year it was a Caribbean theme and we gave out flower leis and flip flops inside of loot bags. The year before it was a Western theme and we all dressed up in western wear and ate chili and hamburgers. I find this easier on the budget. My son loves it. I bake him his cake -- he helps. Homemade is always best. The gifts are really secondary because everyone is having fun. That's what parties are all about -- fun -- not how much $$ you spend and birthdays are about feeling special not spoiled.

Answer 9

I think the way some people are raising their kids is disgusting! People that have to have these big parties are for show and that's it!! It's bad enough we have to have competition among our kids in sports, school etc. now birthdays??? That is pretty sad we have to show our kids how much we love them through monetary items as opposed to just letting them know by telling them and spending quality time with them.
We wonder why our kids have no respect and compassion now a days. I think all parents should be taking responsibiltiy for their children's behaviour, after all we are the ones who are supposed to be teaching them morals and values while we are raising them.

Answer 10

I agree completely. When I was a kid my birthday party was a very simple affair: a small group of friends (maybe 10) at my house, a cake made by my mother, and some games. I doubt my parents spent more than a few dollars, but I was very happy.