I’m a guy who’s a virgin and I’m seriously considering abstaining from sex until marriage. I would mainly like to hear from people who have abstained from sex until marriage and how easy or difficult did you find it? The reasons I would like to abstain from sex until marriage is because I’m insecure about who I give my first time to. I know you probably think this idea is old fashioned but I believe in being sensible and responsible for my actions.
2007-01-17 01:55:16 · 18 answers · asked by The Devil 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
What if one decides not to marry? I'll be a virgin old maid...ohhh the thought!!! In any case, this is my view, then again, I am a therapist by trade..which one, I guess by the explanation below, on this subject, you can figure it out:
Sex can be a beautiful experience. It can also be a very emotional experience. That’s why it’s best to abstain, or wait until you’re in a committed, adult relationship – like marriage. A marriage is a mutually committed relationship with many benefits. A marriage allows for emotional stability, companionship, love and trust.
Abstinence doesn’t mean never having sex. It just means waiting until the right time. Sex is a very intimate act and it can complicate a relationship. It can lead to hurt feelings. If you have sex with someone when you’re not ready, or because you’re pressured into it, you may feel bad. You may also wonder if your partner really cares about you.
Choosing abstinence while dating allows you to know that the person you are dating is with you for YOU. They are not just interested in having sex with you. They respect you and your choices. You will never feel used or exploited for choosing not to have sex.
Friendship and romance can’t work without respect, honesty, trust and caring. The best relationships start with a solid foundation.
2007-01-17 02:12:40 · answer #1 · answered by funsunseeker 1 · 1⤊ 2⤋
People need to be sexually compatible as well as emotionally compatible. There is nothing wrong with sex in a loving relationship (which can last for months or years). Just because you have had a few partners doesn't mean you are loose or have bad morals. You're first time is no big thing and you'll probably find that it isn't any very good. It''s like anything else. Practise makes perfect. As long as you both love and respect each other then theres nothing to worry about. It's a completely different thing to be promiscuous and run around humping anything that moves. What really worries me is the objectionable, selective, irresponsible way that some impressionable teens are taught about contraception etc. That is much more worrying than someone in a relationship who wants to share something special with someone else.
2007-01-17 02:10:13 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds rather weird to me. It's even dangerous in my opinion... I don't know, I'm 40, married and I wasn't a virgin when I got married, so probably I'm not the most suitable person to give advice... However I am sure that you can be sensible and responsible for your actions all the same. Making love should be so natural. Abstaining from sex is not...
2007-01-17 02:14:03 · answer #3 · answered by wind&fire 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you can wait, it is best. Shagging around seems all well and good at the time, but when you meet the person you love and talk about how many people each other has slept with, it hurts and can cause problems. It would be best for the person you will marry that she hasn't has anyone come in her yet. (and vice versa for you).
You also can have more fun in bed with her when you are both learning. Sometimes when "experienced" people get together they compare and perhaps they are already bored with the notion of sex.
You also should stay away from porn, because if you are 24, a virgin, but have been downloading porn for 10 years, you will be conditioning to porn, and think that all girls want to do nasty things.
Good luck and God bless.
2007-01-17 02:11:37 · answer #4 · answered by Arthur M 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I think its a good idea to abstain from sex until you're married. All of the diseases out there and unwanted pregnancies would be reducing in numbers if we all thought the way you did. You should save yourself for someone you truly love and married too. Its old fashioned but we should all be going by what is right.
I don't think you should feel insecure about your first time. It might be awkward at first but you'll eventually get the hang of it. I give you the up-most respect for your decision. Especially since you're a guy...most guys can't control their hormones and wanna sleep with anything walking.
Good Luck to you!!! :)
2007-01-17 02:09:17 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
So you prefer **** - ing? to porn on your own as thats what abstenance means. And you will be developing your sexaulity on porn fantasies instead of withoin relationships with others,
Actually its people who do that who find they cant form reltioships and end up growing old alone with no sexaul or realtioship outlet other then strippers and prostitutes as girls mate in the real world have standards...
According to age and wnat you good in bed and practiced and its the only way to get confidence to chat them up and handle all sorts of different relationships.
You wont be able to handle talks on how relatioships are going say are you **** friends or a fling or lovers or what...
If you meet someone you will loose them as can't kiss or have no idea what you are doing.
Most girls are sexual from 16 onwards, they aint gonner want rookies...
the only ones who fit your bill are those who get lucky and meet soul mates age 16.
Many never ever do or relatioships break up ... what you gonner do wait till 30 when everyone else lives their life?
When all you will be able to pull is a 16 year old at the age of 30 as only they are as not rated in experience as you and therefore lower standards?
2007-01-17 02:07:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I'm 27 and still a virgin and proud of it. At least I won't get any nasty STD's and I'm sure a future partner will feel more comfortable knowing I haven't got anything - and no I'm not married.
I don't care what other people think or do - I think you have to take responsblity for yourself
2007-01-17 02:21:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Really smart answer from Tim there, bet all the girls love his sharp-witted japes. No wonder he spilt his beans in the first hole that turned up.
Religiously, it depends on your definition of "Adultery". To be sleeping with your girlfriend of many years does not constitute adultery.
In non religious terms, it's very much up to you, if it's with someone you love, then go for it. If it's not, then I really don't see the point. Don't cow-tow to peer pressure though, after all, if it's only physical, you might as well just spit in her ear. It's pretty much the same thing plus you won't catch anything!
2007-01-17 02:04:07 · answer #8 · answered by James M 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Hey i think you are being very honest, and although it does seem a bit "old fashion" it is also such a good idea, wow 10/10 to you.All the girls in your life will know just where you stand, and hopefully will love you for it.Good luck, and hope you find the girl of your dreams.
2007-01-17 02:07:23 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I was a virgin until I got married at 24. I think preserving that part of yourself for your spouse is definitely commendable. I'm not saying it's not difficult, but it is the right thing to do (in my opinion).
2007-01-17 02:00:50 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋