I just started seeing this new guy a month ago and he's practically perfect for me except that he excepts me to cut off my exboyfriend completely. I honestly don't have the heart to do that. My ex is moving across the country so I don't see what's wrong with talking with him. My ex was my first love and I still love him. I can't imagine not talking to him. So is it worth it to cut him off for someone I might fall in love with? He already told me we can't see each other if I continue to be in contact with my ex.
2007-01-17 01:54:28 · 27 answers · asked by Jessica 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It sounds like you have a tough decision to make.
2007-01-17 01:57:31 · answer #1 · answered by Jo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In the beginning of a relationship both parties are a little insecure whether they show it or not. If you are truly into this new bf you have let him know you are into him. He doesn't want to hear how in love you were with your ex or that you still converse with him. If it bothers your new bf and you see a great future with him, let the ex go. Your ex is an ex for a reason and you have to remember that. If you can't imagine not talking to your ex, you have to ask why is he your ex. With time and distance I think the relationship with your ex will fade away but your new man doesn't want to know about it. And mind you sneaking around behind his back to do it is not the right thing either. He wants to be the most important thing in your world now, not your ex. You can't bring this baggage into a new relationship or it's bound to fail.
2007-01-17 02:16:37 · answer #2 · answered by paco 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Big redflag just appeared. My ex-wife was exactly the same way. She cut up all the pictures of my old girlfriends from my photo albums (without my knowledge).
This is a sign of a very insecure person, and I'm telling you now just so you know, you have problems already.
I will make this prediction (look this up 6 months from now if you are still dating him), first it's the ex-boyfriend, next it'll be your friends, then your family will start taking hits from him.
By the time of my divorce, I had sisters and a brother I hadn't spoken to in over 5 years, since the divorce, we are all back together again.
They slowly shrink down your universe to just them, and it can happen so slowly ya never see it coming.
Just do me a favor, everytime he cuts off your contact, or complains about you doing things without him, listen to that little voice in your head saying "what is that all about?"
Good luck.
2007-01-17 02:00:56 · answer #3 · answered by Lt. Dan reborn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think your new man is being completely unreasonable. There's really no major reason you "must" keep in touch with an ex. Out of respect for your new guy, you need to try to accomodate his needs and consider his feelings rather than risk being potentially happy with someone.
I have one ex BF that I still do hear from from time to time, but he's moved on and in a committed realtionship and his current GF has no problem with occasional contact. However, if my current BF had or has a problem with it, or felt threatened at all, then I would have to respect his feelings and end the contact.
2007-01-17 01:59:27 · answer #4 · answered by Rach 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jessica,
You need to evaluate your feelings for your ex. In some ways, I understand your current BF's feelings...if you are really ready to move on, than you should...and keeping your ex around is just fear of the future. I would try to explain to your current BF that you and he are still friends and you would like to maintain. Be sensitive to his feelings, but never let a guy tell you with whom you can be friends. If it starts there it will certainly lead to more ways he can invade your space.
Do what is best for you Jessica.
Good Luck!
2007-01-17 02:03:13 · answer #5 · answered by Bathroom Graffiti 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What would you do if your new boyfriend wanted to keep in touch with his ex? And what if your new boyfriend still loved her?
Think about where he is coming from.
But it can definitely be hard to let go of old flames.
I say you should keep in touch, but only once in a while. Email or letters, the occasional phone call. But tell your boy know what you're doing, hiding it will only make more problems.
2007-01-17 02:02:05 · answer #6 · answered by white.sale 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Umm, if you were MY girlfriend, and you talked to someone you still claimed to love, it would bother me too. Listen, it sounds like you got into this new relationship before you were emotionally ready. The new guy certainly doesn't deserve that. When you start a new relationship, especially after a "first love", you need to make sure you are ready to go FULL on with the new one, first. How would YOU feel if the roles were reversed? That's usually your answer to personal moral dilemmas, anyways.
2007-01-17 01:59:42 · answer #7 · answered by Doug Church 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You gotta tell your ex that you can't talk to him any more unless your single again, out of the respect of your new man, and tell him that if he wishes this when he gets a new woman than you will do the same. Its not cool to talk to your ex when you got a man period unless its OK with him. Personally I would dump you if you spoke to your ex also. Just think of what you would think if your new man always hung out with his ex and what if she was just as hot as you if not way hotter.
2007-01-17 02:02:39 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes most men I know do the same thing, but somehow i've got around it and they all still want to see me. I also believe that'lifes a joy' person is correct, I have a hard time letting go. And it causes pain for others and my heart feels torn.
2007-01-17 01:58:15 · answer #9 · answered by letgo 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I did it. And now I am engaged to a beautiful woman that I love dearly. I dont miss my ex at all. Wouldn't you be jealous if the new guy was always talking to a pretty girl that he regularly slept with before? be honest and be fair.
2007-01-17 01:59:34 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you still love him, then you shouldn't be dating someone new. Your new boyfriend is 100% right. He doesn't want to invest time, money and emotion into a relationship that is doomed from teh start because his girlfriend won't give up her ex.
2007-01-17 01:58:10 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋