A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip."
So the next sunday he took the monsignor's advice. at the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon return to his office after mass, he found the following note on his door:
- sip the vodka, don't gulp
- there are 10 commandments, not 12
- there are 12 disciples, not 10
- Jesus was consecrated, not constipated
- Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not beat his ***
- we do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
- The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior, and Spook
- when Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper he said, "take this and eat it, for it is my body", he did not say "eat me."
- the Virgin Mary is not referred to as the "mary with the cherry"
- the recommended grace before a meal is not: "rub-a-dub-dub, thanks for the grub, yea God."
- next sunday there will be a taffy-pulling contest at St. Peter's, not a peter-pulling contest at St. Taffy's
2007-01-17 01:06:08 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
lol, old but good.
2007-01-17 01:10:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
good 1 lol 10/10 x
2007-01-17 11:09:06 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
man he sure hit the old voddi brill joke chris 10/10
2007-01-17 11:01:46 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very Jovial my Son!
2007-01-17 09:12:01 · answer #4 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very funny. I don't think he had a glass of vodka - I think he had a whole bottle!!!
2007-01-17 09:13:09 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nice one mate,âºâºâºâº
2007-01-17 09:10:26 · answer #6 · answered by ♣ My Brainhurts ♣ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ha Ha Ha
I've seen this guy before, He's Funny!!!
2007-01-17 11:03:16 · answer #7 · answered by HardCore 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good one!
2007-01-17 09:09:20 · answer #8 · answered by mcfifi 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
New one on me. Praise be.
2007-01-17 09:14:30 · answer #9 · answered by MI5 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oldie but goodie.
2007-01-17 09:09:18 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋