i have two brothers who are twins they were adopted at the age of 4 last sunday my mum came to tell me one of the twins had been in touch i cryed then i phoned him we spoke for hours im realy worried as the other brothre is abit more undecided re contact i am meeting both my brothers soon but they dont want mum to know im seeing both of them as she has only seen one do i go along and try to smooth the way or do i tell my mum first that im seeing both of them i mrealy missed my brothers and want them both back in my life but i also dont want to decive my mum what do i do please help
2007-01-16 22:58:54 · 11 answers · asked by Ricky S 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Congratulations. I've been through the same thing, instead I was the one who found the family.
I needed my family's support so much and they helped me alot, with advice and guidance as it is such an emotional time.
In your case I can see that not telling your mum until things have smoothed over, but you don't want to go behind her back.
You are a grown adult now, and will need to make the decision you are happy with.
I wish you the best of luck. Stay optimistic as finding family doesn't always end with a happy ending, but I wish you luck, and I'm sure you will come to the best conclusion
2007-01-16 23:03:55 · answer #1 · answered by ஐ♥PinkBoo - TTC #1♥ஐ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a really tricky one. A friend of mine was in a similar situation recently.
I would go and meet them without telling Mum. See how it goes. Take a few days (or a few weeks) to decide how you feel about the whole thing. Then decide what to tell your Mum.
You sound as if your main concern is to protect your Mum from any hurt. That's good.
So find out what's going on before you get her worried or upset.
I wish you all the very best in this. I hope it all works out for you.
2007-01-16 23:05:01 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why did your mum get rid of them, she may not deserve to have a relationship with them but you do, how awfull for you little brothers to be taken away at the age of 4, lifes too short honey you have already missed so much, make it up now while you still can.xx
2007-01-16 23:05:25 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have every right to catch up with your brothers. If your mother doesn't want to, then that's her problem. I'm sure you're an adult and fully capable of doing this on your own. You're not deceiving your mother in no way shape or form. What happens between you and your brothers is your business. If she asks about it then I suppose you should tell her, but what she doesn't know won't hurt her, and It's really none of her business.
Good luck, and congrads.
-.-'
2007-01-16 23:06:31 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Arrange to meet both your brothers, as you would wish. Your mother shouldn't be punishing you for something just cos she doesn't want them both back in her life. You don't need to tell her anything about your meeting before OR after you've seen them, so she can't spy on you, or disapprove. She should respect your wishes as an adult, not be treating you like a child.
2007-01-16 23:37:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm really pleased for you,I found my older brother after 20yrs,last year,but things haven't worked out for us,the last time I saw him I was 8 and we were really close as kids I really looked up to him,but he's had a chequered past and will never change,he owes me money and has stopped contact so he doesn't have to pay it back,I have been well and truly used,I even furnished his flat for him,it's a bit sad the way it's turned out as I had him on a pedestal all these years,Good luck,x
2007-01-16 23:11:04 · answer #6 · answered by MANC & PROUD 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it was me then i would go and see my brothers with out telling my mom, you dont want to lose them again do u? and maybe u can talk them in2 seeing your mom and it will all be ok then, ur mom should understand why u done what u did. Good luck neway and hope it all goes well im glad u cud have the chance of spending the rest of ur life with all ur family. xx
2007-01-16 23:07:49 · answer #7 · answered by Kimmy xx 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tough call.but i think you should tell the brother that doesn't want your mom to know...that you want the best for the family but won't deceive mom in the process. It should be a meeting from the hearts. Do you want to attempt to rebuild family beginning with a small lie? Mom probally knows she can rely on you because you never left her...don't hide it.
2007-01-16 23:06:37 · answer #8 · answered by kiss the mom 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your mum, i know she will be hurt, but you will have a clear concience, congratulations on finding your brothers, it is an emotional time for you and your family, my advice is make sure you tell your mum. Good Luck
2007-01-16 23:48:14 · answer #9 · answered by Ruksana P 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is a tough choice bt u gotta follow yo heart
2007-01-16 23:04:09 · answer #10 · answered by fishbone 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋