how do i cope with grief after a year ???

Question

my nanna died in may and still greifing time will be healed buti miss her so much i cant talk about her coz if i did i would cry and greif over her.im slowly getting ther .ther is so many memories but i want to talk to her and see her after so long i miss her is ther any games i could like talk to her in spirt ? please help/

Answer 1

Don't cry babu!!There are so many others are waiting for u.Share yrself to others!!!The problem gets automatically resolved

Answer 2

I really sympathise but you do have to move on. I think that you feel there is still a lot that you didn't get to say to your nanna, and there's some unfinished business between you. I was given good advice after my mother died (and I felt the same as you). Write a long letter to the deceased person, open up your heart, spill out your grief in words, tell the person everything you ever wanted to say to them, how much you loved them, how sorry you were for the things you may have done that hurt them .... all that kind of thing. I wrote about 30 pages to my mother and poured out my heart and my tears, and felt completely empty and exhausted when I'd finished. I added to the letter the next day but then felt, suddenly, much better. Really, I did feel lighter and my heart wasn't as heavy. The friend who gave me advice told me to put the letter in an envelope, give it a kiss and then, one day when I felt ready, go to a private place and burn it and, as it burned, just say the words "Goodbye, I love you, goodbye". Well it took me about three months before I could do that but one day, on a spring morning, it just felt right and I went down to the garden, cried again, kissed the letter and burned it.
Strangely, from that day on, my grief has lessened enormously. I haven't cried so much since then, and my memories of my late mother are now happy ones and don't bring me to tears again.
It's all about saying "goodbye" for the final time and, after a year, you should think about doing this.
I hope this advice helps you. My heart goes out to you. Please remember - grief DOES get better in time, it does heal. It's just about being able to say goodbye and let go ...
Good luck.

Answer 3

I lost my Nanna just over 11 years ago, and you knwo what? I still miss her to this very day. I too had lots of memories about my Nanna and wanted to keep some sort of connection with her.

I got a big, lovely, decorated box and have turned into a keep sake box for her. I have pictures, odd bits that she used to have, like her telephone/address book, Elvis and Patsy Cline CD's that she used to play over and over, some old video tapes, small wall orinments etc. etc. If you dont have the original stuff, buy substitues for your self as memories. I also when I feel I want to talk to her, I write a letter to her and pop it in the box too. Then whenever I feel the need I have stuff to look back on and remember her by.

She's with you in spirit, and as long as you believe that, she will be, trust me....

Answer 4

A year grieving will always feel like a day. I felt the same way about my Mum. If someone mentioned her name I would cry. I lost her when I was 13 it took me four years to come to terms with it. So you may still have a way to go, everyone is different.

If you feel a bit wobbly and there is time, go to her grave and let it all out or if there are people around you that truly understand the relationship you had let them know that you need to talk and you need a good cry. Avoid the "pull yourself together" crowd.

If you need to grieve let it out but remember there is good grief and bad grief. Make sure you are exorcising your loss but don't get consumed in it. Also remember, she is always with you, like second skin, hugging and loving you in her way.

All the best.

Answer 5

My Grandfather died nine years ago. Last week I saw an old man who looked just like him - it literally stopped me in my tracks as I realised how much I still miss him and I bawled my eyes out the rest of the way round Sainsburys. I felt like a right twit! Grief takes many forms and hits us all in different ways. A year is nothing - you'll remember her for the rest of your life. Try to think about the good times and all the wonderful things she taught you. Talk to her if you need to - no one will judge you for it x x

Answer 6

there is no time limit set on grieving. there is only time. some people never get over it. some, have time heal their wounds. talking about her will help; yes there wil be tears and possibly a sob or so. but talk you must. and let time do what it will.


talking to her? sure. go ahead, talk. i do it a lot when i'm first up in the morning or if something upsets me during the day. so, i have a one sided conversation, so what. i then work through the issue or i don't.


but, unfortunately for all of us - time is the healer.

Answer 7

I am sorry to hear about your nanna ,i remember when my nanna died ,i was 11 years old and i adored her ,i wrote her a letter .you could write her a letter and either put it on her grave or where her ashes are buried,she was a very special person to you and all that knew her ,they do say they come to you in your dreams sometimes, i dont know if that happens but i believe they come back to see how you are ,you will always love her ,i still think about my nanna and i am 33 .xxxxx

Answer 8

I am so sorry. You must have had a wonderful relationship, and you will always have that.

Can you talk to her in spirit? Any time you want to, as you know. So that is not what you are asking,

STAY AWAY FROM THOSE "GAMES" ! There are so many serious reasons, but I'll just give you one: Would your nanna want you to attempt to manipulate her as the object of a game??

Cherish your memories. In time, they will make you smile again. Trust me.

Answer 9

My nan died when I was in my early 20's I'm now in my 50's - I still miss her, tears well up when I think of her, although I do feel that she is looking after me in her way. Don't worry there is no time limit for grief - dont go anywhere near "games" - I've never tried it but you shouldn't play around with what you don't understand, it could have bad repercussions.

Answer 10

When something that horrible happens, I don't think there's a way to get over it, just through it. That is your own way to deal. It's OK to miss her and even if it has been a year it doesn't make the fact that you can't see her anymore any less pain full. Try taking up a new hobby or do volunteer work to keep your mind focused

Answer 11

Try this, get a photo of her, put it on your heart, close your eyes and envisage her face, and talk to her, tell her all the things you need too, cry if you have too.

My Grandmother died 20 years ago and I'm still grieving, grief has no time limit darling...So do what you have too, cry, get mad even have a laugh, but most of all, make her proud of you.