I've been with my boyfriend for 18 months now, when we first got together, we were shy infront of eachother, there were things that we just wouldn't think of doing infront of eachother, i would always make sure i dressed my best for him and whenever he touched me i'd get butterflies.
I don't get this anymore, our relationship is just...totally trustworthy, we can look like crap infront of eachother, i don't get butterflies and i just feel comletely normal when i'm around him and i wish i could feel the way i used to when i was around him...is there any way that i can get our spark back?
2007-01-16 21:23:09 · 8 answers · asked by Yellow 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
The thing is here, is that there are always two sides to this particular coin and the grass is always "greener" until you find yourself on the other side of the fence.
I bet that when you first met and found yourselves compatible, you yearned for someone who you could feel comfortable around and just be yourself? Now you have that you want to regress back to the initial stages.............I'm not saying it's wrong but there has to be some middle ground.
The butterflies you felt is a mix of emotion and novelty. The novelty has worn off (understandably) and you now find yourself wanting it back. It'll never be the same as you have transcended to another level of the relationship.
In order to "fix" this, try dating again. Try flirting and seducing eachother, go out to dinner and at times, maintain an air of mystery. Don't keep secrets but you can inject some energy by becoming a little more coy.
Good luck.
2007-01-16 21:38:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, as cliche as it is, try to recapture what you two once had. Dress nicely for him again, try to do things that you did in the beginning of the relationship to recapture what you once had. It might be seen as regressing back to the beginning of the relationship, and therefore looked down upon, but I think that it might work :-)
Just becuase you have been together for 18 months it doesn't mean that your relationship can't work. Look at people who have been married for 50+ years!! So it is possible.
Just stay positive and it will all work out. Also, find comfort in the fact that you have a guy that you feel that comfortable around :-)
Best of luck!
2007-01-16 21:29:44 · answer #2 · answered by Emmy Jay 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is the totally natural and normal course of a relationship - you need to focus on the positive aspects of this stage of the relationship. But if you want to that nervous sparky feeling back, why not make "dates" with each other - like on a tuesday, then you don't see each other til then, and you both just meet at the restaurant and it wil feel all date-y and I guarantee you'll get butterflies :)
2007-01-16 21:32:50 · answer #3 · answered by supagrrrl84 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
have some children. ur normal. have a nice life.
edit:
holy is in the normal. the every day long drawn moments where you could chose to go and endulge, but you reenforce what is good instead through your labors and care. It is the culmination of these long drawn moments that truly defines your life and the moments of splendor or climactic conflict mean little, for it is your long and deliberate moments that brought you to them. Everyone experiences birth and death. Thus, these things are the epitome of mundane in reference to what happens in the stretches between these way points into the world and back out.
(something to that effect from a taoist meditation book)
2007-01-16 21:26:32 · answer #4 · answered by jorluke 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
just go back to the way you were when you met him. if you did or not. go out have a really good time dress your best and make sure he dress his. then maybe go for a meal then the cinema or something. if that doesnt work then its ovious that you do not have the same feelings and if you dont have the same feelings then you are staying with him with guilt. email me if my advice worked. k. frosty
2007-01-16 21:31:12 · answer #5 · answered by Kid Fro$ty / $up3rman 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
thats normal, if you actually like each other as people, and enjoy each others company, and still enjoy sex (communcation helps here) then you're on the way to a real, long term relationship- people who always seek the "electricity" tend to have numerous relationships under 2years..
2007-01-16 21:31:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am experiencing exactly the same, i hope someone gives you some good advice so that i Can take it too. Thanks for asking the question, i just never knew how.
Enjoy your day, Mwah!!
2007-01-16 21:32:35 · answer #7 · answered by Roxxy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Run around the house nude! See if he gets a sparky!
2007-01-16 21:28:21 · answer #8 · answered by LSD 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋