Should I stop buying him gifts?

Question

I am used to buying gifts for friends, relatives, children, its just my nature. I have been buying several gifts for my lover and I really don't expect him to do the same to me, one day he asked me why I am fond of buying him gifts. I explained that its just my nature and I feel thats one way of expressing my love. I don't know if he appreciates them at all, am I just wasting my money or I should carry on doing what pleases me?

Answer 1

Don't take his question to heart. No, you're not wasting your money, and he might just be feeling a bit overwelhmed and worried that you might be spending too much money on him.

The beauty of relationships is that you need to learn to love a person the way they want to be loved!.

Eventually you'll realise that everyone's definition of love is different, and everyone expects different things from their lover. See if you can find out what he expects from you. Then try to fulfil it, and see how your relationship blooms. Meanwhile, you can continue giving him gifts, though maybe a little less frequently, after all, you want to express your love in your style too, don't you? :-)

Answer 2

Oh! My. Gaaaawd! NEVER buy a man a gift first UNLESS his birthday comes up first and then it must be a token gift only. I bought my husband a SLICE of cake with a candle as we had only been going out 3 weeks.

There are RULES about gift giving and they are really important even if you don't agree with them. You can actually undermine your relationship with your boyfriend by buying him gifts.

Read Mars and Venus on a date. There is a section in there about gifts and it goes into details as to why he makes the suggestions he does.

Firstly you must NEVER ever give a man more than what he has given you. It is the man's job to pursue you and to make you happy. It is your job to smile and say thank you.

If you buy a man a gift he will feel pressured to buy you a gift and he may not want to or may be unable to or it could take away the pleasure of a gift he was going to get you but now feels pressured into buying and will create tension and all sorts of other issues that the book mentioned above can explain.

It's a must read.

Answer 3

I'm in the exact opposite situation. I'm the one who receives gifts on a regular basis. I was uncomfortable for a while since that was new to me. I asked the exact question..."why?". His answer was exactly like yours..."I like doing it." Every time he gets paid, he usually brings home something special for me.
I know that I appreciate it and have learned that it IS his way of showing me that he loves me and is thinking about me. If you really feel good about buying the gifts (and you aren't overdrawing your bank account), keep doing it. He will learn to understand.

Answer 4

its a good nature, but some people always go to the wrong side, and start to ask bout:

1) why she doing this & for what?
2) what she want excatly?

for exmple there is girl works with me in my compney, and i bring for her gift from time to time, after 2 month she start to avoid me and don't talk with me unless this converstion will be about work matter, she takes the wrong side and think bad about me, but anyway she has all right to do that, and i'm not angry but its make hard feeling inside me.

Answer 5

every body have Dif nature if he dont like gifts dont buy any more for him, best i can suggest is if u like any thing for him i-e worth 30$ dont buy that use that money (30 $)for charity.
i am sure u will be more pleased instead of giving some one who dont need give it to some body who deserves

Answer 6

Men don't care about gifts. He basically told you he doesn't want your gifts. You should get to know what he wants and don't want and adjust accordingly without taking offence. People are different.

Answer 7

lady, you don't need to buy gifts to be affectionate. just be your own loving self.. people don't love you because you "buy them".. they love you because of your personality. you are very giving and caring and i'm sure your relatives and sweetie know that!

+++in my opinion, they should buy you gifts! it's give AND take ^_^ and you should take some yourself.

Answer 8

If he questioned you buying him gifts then stop and do something with your girls with that money.

Answer 9

you're doing the properly suited element, so do not end. the belief of giving a present day isn't to get one in return, it is your way of asserting something specific to somebody else. additionally, your human beings won't be in a financial difficulty that makes it possible for them to purchase you a present day.

Answer 10

yes