How do you as a christian deal with divorce or separation?

Answer 1

I have never been divorced or separated myself, but I have known several friends and family members who have.

I believe that God hates divorce and it should be avoided at all costs. I also believe that marriage itself is a mirror of the relationship between Christ and the Church (body of, big "c").

God grants us divorce in scripture due to the hardness of our hearts, but I believe His perfect will would be for us to forgive and work it out.

Answer 2

As a Christian, with the Bible as Authority, let's see what the scriptures have to say as to separation and divorce.

As far as divorce is concerned, a person can divorce his/her mate only on the grounds of Adultery, which is a sin against God and against one's mate. (Refer Hebrews 13:4; Matthew 19: 6-9). A person who divorces his/her mate on any ground other than that of adultery and re-marries, is guilty of adultery (Romans 7:2,3). God hates a divorce that is not on scriptural grounds (Malachi 2:14-16).

When marriage mates have problems getting along together, they should try to apply Bible counsel. The Bible urges us to show love and to be forgiving. (Colossians 3:12-14) God’s Word does not encourage separation as a way to solve minor problems. But a wife might choose to leave her husband if (1) he stubbornly refuses to support his family, (2) he is so violent that her health and life are in danger, or (3) his extreme opposition makes it impossible for her to worship Jehovah.—1 Corinthians 7:12, 13. The same applies to Christian Husbands as well.

Answer 3

My wife and I are presently happily married for 31 years and counting. She is the gtreatest Christian woman that I have ever had the opportunity to know. We believe that the only reason for divorce is listed in the BIBLE that is adultery. GOD sent HIS SON who set the perfect example of love for each of us to follow. HE cared more for us than we can even imagine. The Roman Cross was most inhumane and shameful. HE is awesome! It is difficult as a Christian to see others divorce or be unfaithful to their spouse, but I have seen a number of such things over my lifetime. All we can do is hope that they will eventually seek the FATHER's forgiveness and return to their ailing spouse. Have a great week.
Eds

Answer 4

Ok, for one, i don't know why people say that God hates divorce, he is our Father in Heaven, he doesn't hate anything!! I got divorced three years ago, from a man that was very abusive to me and I left him for the sake of my children, and many blessings have been poured out upon me. He knows us and knows what is in our hearts. I think it would be bad to get a divorce of the petty things that people get divorced over now days like they fell out of love, or she got fat!! People need to grow up and stop being so selfish.

Answer 5

well I'm catholic and the church doesn't really believe in divorce if you do divorce you will still be class
as married in the eyes of the church...... and yes i am separated and am going to get a divorce alot of this i talk over with my priest who is one of the kind who is in touch with the real world and he is backing me 100% most people who have some kind of brain will follow a religion but not all the rules as they are so out dated ... you need to do what is best for you and your family

Answer 6

Only Catholics have a bring problem with divorce (and even they have annulled mariages) to err is human to forgive is divine.

Answer 7

if he/she doesnt like to live with her ,r cant enjoy their life with their partner just leave them but one condition u r married but u didnt have children then k just sex only have ,tat k u can divorce ,live with the partner who makes u happy

Answer 8

all christians are individuals,and all humans have the same emotions of loss to deal with.

Answer 9

The three religions have remarkable differences in their attitudes towards divorce. Christianity abhors divorce altogether. The New Testament unequivocally advocates the indissolubility of marriage. It is attributed to Jesus to have said,


“But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery.”(Matthew 5:32).



This uncompromising ideal is, without a doubt, unrealistic. It assumes a state of moral perfection that human societies have never achieved. When a couple realizes that their married life is beyond repair, a ban on divorce will not do them any good. Forcing ill-mated couples to remain together against their wills is neither effective nor reasonable. No wonder the whole Christian world has been obliged to sanction divorce.

udaism, on the other hand, allows divorce even without any cause. The Old Testament gives the husband the right to divorce his wife even if he just dislikes her:

“If a man marries a woman who becomes displeasing to him because he finds something indecent about her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house, and if after she leaves his house she becomes the wife of another man, and her second husband dislikes her and writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house, or if he dies, then her first husband, who divorced her, is not allowed to marry her again after she has been defiled.”(Deut. 24:1-4)

The above verses have caused considerable debate among Jewish scholars because of their disagreement over the interpretation of the words “displeasing”, “indecency”, and “dislikes” mentioned in the verses. The Talmud records their different opinions:

“The school of Shammai held that a man should not divorce his wife unless he has found her guilty of some sexual misconduct, while the school of Hillel say he may divorce her even if she has merely spoiled a dish for him. Rabbi Akiba says he may divorce her even if he simply finds another woman more beautiful than she.”(Gittin 90 a-b)

The New Testament follows the Shammaites opinion while Jewish law has followed the opinion of the Hillelites and R. Akiba.

Since the Hillelites view prevailed, it became the unbroken tradition of Jewish law to give the husband freedom to divorce his wife without any cause at all. The Old Testament not only gives the husband the right to divorce his “displeasing” wife, it considers divorcing a “bad wife” an obligation:

“A bad wife brings humiliation, downcast looks, and a wounded heart. Slack of hand and weak of knee is the man whose wife fails to make him happy. Woman is the origin of sin, and it is through her that we all die. Do not leave a leaky cistern to drip or allow a bad wife to say what she likes. If she does not accept your control, divorce her and send her away.”(Ecclesiasticus 25:25)

The Talmud has recorded several specific actions by wives which obliged their husbands to divorce them:

“If she ate in the street, if she drank greedily in the street, if she suckled in the street, in every case Rabbi Meir says that she must leave her husband”(Git. 89a)

The Talmud has also made it mandatory to divorce a barren wife (who bore no children in a period of ten years):

“Our Rabbis taught: If a man took a wife and lived with her for ten years and she bore no child, he shall divorce her” (Yeb. 64a)
Wives, on the other hand, cannot initiate divorce under Jewish law. A Jewish wife, however, could claim the right to a divorce before a Jewish court provided that a strong reason exists. Very few grounds are provided for the wife to make a claim for a divorce. These grounds include: A husband with physical defects or skin disease, a husband not fulfilling his conjugal responsibilities, etc. The Court might support the wife’s claim to a divorce but it cannot dissolve the marriage.

Only the husband can dissolve the marriage by giving his wife a bill of divorce. The Court could scourge, fine, imprison, and excommunicate him to force him to deliver the necessary bill of divorce to his wife. However, if the husband is stubborn enough, he can refuse to grant his wife a divorce and keep her tied to him indefinitely. Worse still, he can desert her without granting her a divorce and leave her unmarried and undivorced. He can marry another woman or even live with any single woman out of wedlock and have children from her (these children are considered legitimate under Jewish law).

The deserted wife, on the other hand, cannot marry any other man since she is still legally married and she cannot live with any other man because she will be considered an adulteress and her children from this union will be illegitimate for ten generations. A woman in such a position is called an agunah (chained woman).

In the United States today there are approximately 1000 to 1500 Jewish women who are agunot (plural for agunah), while in Israel their number might be as high as 16000. Husbands may extort thousands of dollars from their trapped wives in exchange for a Jewish divorce[35].

Islam occupies the middle ground between Christianity and Judaism with respect to divorce. Marriage in Islam is a sanctified bond that should not be broken except for compelling reasons. Couples are instructed to pursue all possible remedies whenever their marriages are in danger. Divorce is not to be resorted to except when there is no other way out. In a nutshell, Islam recognizes divorce, yet it discourages it by all means.

Let us focus on the recognition side first. Islam does recognize the right of both partners to end their matrimonial relationship. Islam gives the husband the right for Talaq (divorce). Moreover, Islam, unlike Judaism, grants the wife the right to dissolve the marriage through what is known as Khula’.

If the husband dissolves the marriage by divorcing his wife, he cannot retrieve any of the marriage gifts he has given her. The Qur’an explicitly prohibits the divorcing husbands from taking back their marriage gifts no matter how expensive or valuable these gifts might be:

“But if you decide to take one wife in place of another, even if you had given the latter a whole treasure for dower, take not the least bit of it back; Would you take it by slander and a manifest wrong?”(4:20)

In the case of the wife choosing to end the marriage, she may return the marriage gifts to her husband. Returning the marriage gifts in this case is a fair compensation for the husband who is keen to keep his wife while she chooses to leave him. The Qur’an has instructed Muslim men not to take back any of the gifts they have given to their wives except in the case of the wife choosing to dissolve the marriage:

“It is not lawful for you (Men) to take back any of your gifts except when both parties fear that they would be unable to keep the limits ordained by Allah. There is no blame on either of them if she give something for her freedom. These are the limits ordained by Allah so do not transgress them.”(2:229)

Let us now focus our attention on how Islam discourages divorce. The Prophet of Islam told the believers that:

“Among all the permitted acts, divorce is the most hateful to God”(Abu Dawood)

A Muslim man should not divorce his wife just because he dislikes her. The Qur’an instructs Muslim men to be kind to their wives even in cases of lukewarm emotions or feelings of dislike:

“Live with them (your wives) on a footing of kindness and equity. If you dislike them it may be that you dislike something in which Allah has placed a great deal of good.”(4:19)