this is just out curiousity, but how long have you been married? are you happy? what are important things to keep in mind throughout the relationship? and what sacrafices have/are you making/made to make each other happy or in general? Its alot of questions, i know...but lately its its hard for me to see the "good" in marriage- it seems like you start off being madly, truly in love...but then it fades....what are your thoughts/oppinions on this? thank you in advance.
2007-01-16 19:51:53 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
My husband and I just celebrated our 8th year. We have been together for 12 years.
The honest answer here is that there is no "answer" There is no magic formula that makes a marriage work. But to realize that a marriage is WORK is your first obsticle. You will fight, you will get angry with eachother over big stuff (money) and stupid stuff(she didnt get him a bag of M&Ms when she ran to the store even though he didnt ask for them), you will want to leave at least once. But there are also incredible things about having a spouse. You have someone who knows you better than anyone else, someone you can be yourself in front of who will love you for you and everything about you. He will love you as much with the weight as he did without it and she will love you even though you sit on the couch each night and let one rip.
And when you feel like leaving, it wont be the hassle of actually moving out that stops you, its the actual thought of not seeing that person in the morning that stops you. The thought of never spending another minute with him/her will terrify you because you really do love him and those M&Ms didnt matter that much to you.
My love for my husband hasnt faded, but it has changed alot. Matured alot. In the beginning it was exciting yes, and we're all settled now. We have a house, 2 kids there wont be anymore surprises in our lives. But I couldnt imagie my life without him, and I truly love him alot more today than I did the day we were married. He has filled my life and I would be lost without him.
Dont sour on marriage because you think it will get old, I dont know if your parents are still married, but mine are. I will always remember this one time I realized my parents were really in love with eachother, I was in high school and we were at the football game. I was sitting up with my friends and we were all fooling around and suddenly our team was running for a toouchdown. In this moment I looked over at my parents and my dad had his arm around my mom and she was kind of bouncing up and down clapping, but it was really cold out so my dad kept his arm around her to keep her warm holding up the blanket while she cheered. It was a really sweet and honest moment between the two of them. They are getting ready to celebrate their 42nd year of marriage in March.
Just remember life isnt predictable, no one can say what marriage will turn out to be between you and your fiance, but I can say that you are only at the begining stages of love when you get married, there is so much more love that developes as your get older and grow with your mate.
Good luck in your choice.
2007-01-17 00:41:15 · answer #1 · answered by kateqd30 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
We've been married over 17 years, and are happier than we have ever been. The biggest thing is to not be selfish - to be doing things for the good of you as a couple, not individually. This is not to say you give up your individuality - far from it. Being in a close relationship means that you really do bring out the best in each other.
A huge thing to learn and adapt to is the differences between how women and men feel and think. If you take the time to figure that out, you have the "battle" won, and it sure lessens the misunderstandings and communication gaps that can occur.
Love changes, but it doesn't fade, not at all. Every day, month, year that passes as you are together, it deepens and grows as you get to know each other inside and out.
Marriage is work, no two ways about it. But it is worth all the effort for years of love, fun, and happiness together!
2007-01-16 22:24:20 · answer #2 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes getting married seems like a great idea, but you don't know how to keep it alive. You may have kids (my case twins) that take up a lot of time. You may work opposite shifts and barely see eachother. So you need to get the spark back. Get a babysitter and go out on a date. Forget that you're parents. Heck forget you're even married and just enjoy yourself. You need to do this atleast once a month. Just some quiet time for the two of you to talk and catch up. Also don't sweat the small stuff. Getting mad or upset over little things will lead to disaster. If your marriage is strained this may put you over the top. Also don't yell when fighting. It's hard, but the fight will tone down to conversation and become more productive faster.
2007-01-16 20:06:16 · answer #3 · answered by drew2376 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
7 years - very happy, still honeymooning. Our love has grown rather than faded, and it just keeps getting better! Sacrifices - none that either of us regret. I'd be living in York, England instead of the US if we weren't married, but that doesn't bother me. My wife's career would probably be farther along if she didn't spend so much time on home and hearth, but that is a sacrifice she makes willingly.
Important things - just try to treat each other the way you want to be treated, and make your loving relationship your first priority. When you find the right one for you, you'll see how wonderful it can be.
Unfortunately, lots of people are not truly in good mental health. They are unlikely to ever truly be happy, whether single or married. Be careful.
2007-01-16 20:09:24 · answer #4 · answered by Husker41 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have been married for ten years now. It was love at first sight and a short engagement and quick marriage. As they say 'love' is the main ingredient of any marriage. If there is love, everything else follows. Both of us are always ready to sacrifice for each other. It is always team work and most important you must feel 'hot' for each other. Even after so many years, I wait all day at office to rush and meet her. She waits for me at home. As soon as we meet, we start love. The moment I touch her, I feel hot and she too feels hot. We relax and keep talking, and all the while we are playing with each other and touch everywhere. Soon we get into an embrace. Though she give me more than I ask, still I hunger, still I thirst for her. I don't know why couples argue or fight, why they go for divorce ? Love in marriage is so delicious that even after 10 years, I need my partner more
2007-01-16 22:15:29 · answer #5 · answered by wizard of the East 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
We've been married over 31 years and I'm still in love and still
happy.
We both wanted our marriage to work and so we decided from the beginning to do whatever it took to make that happen.
We respect each other, we have fun together, we're honest with each other and we like each other.
We've had our share of arguments but we don't call names or curse at each other or try to hurt each other.
I still think he's the most fascinating man I've ever known and I've never been bored and we have a very good life together.
I think you have to remember one thing... love is very important but there has to be more than just love to make it work.
2007-01-16 22:21:18 · answer #6 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have been with my partner for 9 1/2 years. We have had our ups and downs but mostly ups. I am still very happy and get butterflies talking about him. We have found that when things are not so good we find we have fallen into a routine I think it is important to make an effort to spend time every week doing things together (walking in the afternoons is a good uninterrupted was to have a laugh and share how your days went). Also good communication - I think that after a while you can find that you're not really listening to each other. Sometimes I have to remind myself to REALLY listen to what he is saying as even if it doesn't interest me, it is something that is relevant to him and he is including me in his day and experiences. Listening shows him that I am interested in what he has to say. Doing nice spontaneous things for each other can bee nice to - like writing a little note and putting it in his book mark (if he reads books) for example. Hope this helps!
2007-01-16 20:04:06 · answer #7 · answered by milljanni 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wife and I have been married for 4 years. We're happy. Strong communication is what we keep in mind most. Only sacrifices we've made is ridding ourselves of a few untrustworthy family and fake friends. Thats made us very happy to rid trouble makers out of our lives.
Love only fades if the love wasn't strong to begin with. Thats why you have to know and be honest with yourself enough to know what kind of person you like and desire, and need....and what things you know you have to work on about yourself so your ready to face yourself along with your lover during disagreements.
People who fail at marriage usually haven't done those things. Many think they're perfect, never wrong, and blame their lover during disagreements. Then they complain that marriage sucks when things don't work out when it's themselves who need to wake up. The battle of men and women in these times make that difficult because of so much arrogance on both sides.
2007-01-16 20:00:10 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
been married for almost 10 years and i love my wife more today than when we met. i am absolutely happy...keep in mind that you will not agree on everything, but always try to keep each happy. let her/him know daily. my wife has made the biggest sacrifice. i have been deployed twice, and she has supported me to the fullest. youv'e got to keep each other entertained. we have "special days" for each other, and that day, we decide what we are gonna do. keep in mind that she has feelings as well. it's best to be a good listener than a talker. by doing that, yo must listen to what your partner is saying rather than thinking about what you are gonna say when she is done. marriage is great.
2007-01-16 20:01:19 · answer #9 · answered by trooper (canine bad citizen) 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i am unmarried but i think that understanding is the most important thing to remain happy i married life.
2007-01-16 20:03:50 · answer #10 · answered by aryan 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋