she's 14, I'm 37 will we be discriminated against?

Question

Hi, I'm an American but I was raised abroad since I was 8 years old. I got married to a 12 year old girl when I was 35. Please undestand that this is acceptable and legal where I am from. Now, she's 14 years old and I'm 37. We're going to the US for the first time together to spend time visiting relatives and showing my country to her. Will people in the states stare at us on public places? I mean, will we stand out too much? If so, will people say things to us or something? Will I be considered a pedophile? I haven't been in the US since I was 15 so I have no idea of how people will react to this. I have researched this subject on the net and with my parents but I would like to know what you think. Thanks.

calm down..hehehe...in the country where I was raised she's not a child, she's a woman because she's married to me and she's also a mother. She automatically became an adult when we married two years ago and even before that, she was tecnically an adolescent because she was menstruating at 11 when we started dating. I had her parents consent though I didn't need it for marriage since she was pregnant at 12 and that for us makes her an adult and able to marry with whoever she want. I'm not a pedophile, I'm just a man and I see her as a woman, as my wife. I have never see her as a child, I don't feel attracted to children. Thanks for the advice but I think Americans have dirty minds and can't understand other cultures. I feel ashamed to be an American.

Answer 1

America is one of the most opionated and ignorant of the civilized countries, yes you are likely to be scrutinized. I'm very sorry to have to say that but its true and you should be aware of reactions you might recieve.

Many Americans don't easily or often accept things that are different. They have several reasons for this, one is that many of them are egotistical and think that if they don't agree with it or understand it, then it can't be right. Another and much more complex reason is because America has been forced to deal with many things politlically over the past several years. With the indroduction of the politically correct era, Americans have been discriminated against in thier own country. People who were born and raised in American society are having to change their lifestyles to suit those who are immigrating. Many Americans are rather offended by the fact thier culture is being changed because it might offend people who are moving there. Americans are getting angry at this treatment and many of them feel that if you want be an American then you should act like one.

Where you are going will depend a lot on how people react to you. So will how you interact with your wife. Know that in most places in America people who dress in their native clothing (if it looks different) are either ignored, stared at and or treated rudely. People may or may not say something to you but I would almost guarantee they will stare. If this will make you uncomfortable then I suggest staying away from crowded places or if you go into them keep your physical interaction with your wife to nothing. Sorry buy you are going to stand out. Don't worry about it though, you are doing what's right by your culture and you aren't trying to tell anyone they should do it.

If you are still an American citizen you should really consider the laws, your marriage may not be recognized and in America your relationship would be very illegal.

Don't be afraid to take the trip but understand that many of the reactions you got from this question are the things that Americans will think if they get the idea that you are married.

Where do live anyway?

Answer 2

I don't care where you live....a 35 year old man marrying a 12 year old girl is wrong. What in the world do you have in common? Did you want a ready made family all in one person? A child wife? Disgusting. What kind of parents would agree to this relatioship? Yes, you will be stared at unless you treat her like she is your daughter and not your wife. I do think you are a pedophile hiding behind another country's marriage license. You had better check with the US embassy or lawyer or someone who knows if you can be arrested here in the states before you bring her here.

Answer 3

You need to find more current information. Many of the statistics you cited are well over a decade old, and don't account for changes in the system. For example, in the early nineties, DNA exonerated several men who'd been incorrectly convicted of rape, because the technology was new and previously unavailable. Today it would be much less likely for a man to get all the way through a trial and conviction without a DNA swab being conducted.

Answer 4

Yes people will be checking you two out--some might even think that the girl is your child! What country thinks that 12-year-olds marrying 35-year-olds is fine and dandy? A twelve year old is a child--and a 14-year-old is still a child. You've been a grown man for around 20 years--and she is still a girl.

I imagine that people will not think very much of you--and if you stay in the US very long, people may just smarten up your "wife."

Answer 5

Expect people to look at you weird I mean you are 37 and she is only a baby. Personally I think it is a bit sick and twisted that you are married to her or even would want to be with a child like that. But aside from that yes you will get looks and dont be surprised if you have vulgar names yelled at you. And yes many people will consider you a pedophile. Yes you may be living outside the U.S and where you live now it may be legal but the United States and almost everyone that lives here would consider you a sick and digusting human for even having the desire to be with a 14 year old. I mean you are old enough to be her father.

Answer 6

Honestly, I don't judge. (as a matter of fact, i think she's lucky)
But the truth of the matter is...
People here don't see things this way. I think you should go with your parents advice. I think that the two of you will not stand out too much as long as you don't show public displays of affection.
Yes, the sad truth is, that here you would definitely be labled a pedophile. But I think your visit would be good for her. There is no need for all USA to know that she is your wife. Just your family and close friends should be enough for her to feel comfortable here.
I hope she enjoys all that you show her.

Answer 7

Where was your brain when you made this stupid move? And what did you give her parents in return for a child bride? Do you honestly think that you are a man by marrying a child??
You are sick and so are her parents. Where ever you are from is irrelevant. You were born and raised in a civilized country.
I hope they do put you in jail. What you have done is disgusting and there is no amount or reasoning, logic or explanation that will put you in the right! What the hell are you going to teach that poor child that you have fathered from a child.

Answer 8

Yes, you will be discriminated against. That is the price you pay for marrying a child. Children are children, no matter what country you are in.

RE Your additional info. She is a child, I'm afraid. Menstruation and marriage do not automatically make a girl a woman. That is utterly nonsensical. You may treat her in any way you see fit but she is neither physically, emotionally or mentally mature and that is the long and short of it. Furthurmore, if you are treating this girl as a wife ( with all that this implies ) then you are exposing her to health risks such as cervical cancer as she is, quite simply, too damn young!

Answer 9

Yes and some cultures also kill female babies when they are born. But should we except that? nope. I think you are old enough to know that this is wrong and yes ppl will think you are a perv. Watch how you act in public. Before you come in the US you need to find out if this is okay, even if you are married in another country it may not hold up here.

Answer 10

first off its a shame that it is acceptable where you live.. you will be looked at and spoke to if you try to show everyone around you that you can do what you want to this girl married or not. you must have some morals and just didnt use them or you wouldnt be asking the question. people in the states most dont have a problem saying what they think or feel. so it would be a chance you have to take..