Im at a loss....?

Question

For me personally I cant be intimate with someone and affectionate if I dont have feelings for them its as simple as that. There is this guy though who says he finds me physically attractive, fancies me, likes me alot and enjoys my company but doesnt have feelings for me, yet he can be like that with me. He has been in a relationship with a girl for 6 years and they have just come to the end of a 2 month break and have decided to split for good. I always liked him as a friend and started to develop feelings for him about a year later. We had only ever met once then and that was on a weeks holiday. SInce then we have met up 3 times. He says that he cant have feelings for someone he hasnt met that many a time&only speaks to on msn and sometimes on the phone. We also live 2 hours apart but im prepared to make the effort. Do you think I shoulds just remain friends with him and see what happens?Is there a possibility that we could become more once hes over his girlfriend?

Do you thinks its cuz he still has feelings for her and that he just doesnt know me well enough? Surely you should never say never and rule something completely out?

Answer 1

i'm pretty much at a loss myself, went out put my last fiver on an outside runner which lost miserably, so i know totally how you feel.

Answer 2

He has two things to do before starting a relationship with you. Firstly he has to overcome his ex and to overcome an ex after 6 years takes a bit of time. You can't expect that he would forget her after just 2 months cause it's impossible (if he was loyal towards her and loved her very much). Even a relationship that lasted only a year would not be that easy.

The second thing is that, yes he has to know you more before start dating you because remember he had a 6 years relationship and now he will be a bit frightened from relationships.

So all you have to do is to give him some time but in the meantime keep him as a friend and don't stop the contacts with him Cause I'm sure that in the near future he will settle again and he will eventually start dating you. So be patient girl.

Hope this helps and Good Luck hun.

Answer 3

It sounds to ma as though you,and this guy you met both have two different problems.
The guy as you have stated has not yet gotten over his ex girlfriend,and he needs to find the willingness to work through his feelings of loss,and not try and use you as a weapon to deal with his loss.
He is aware of what hes doing by acting out and trying to manipulate you by keeping you in the wings by saying he enkoys your company,finds you physically attractive ,and fancies you.

There are many men out there you can meet the same as him.
He is being honest by saying he doesnt have feelings for you.
He is being dishonest by not saying the feelings he does have are lust,and a neediness to use a female to deal with the feelings of loss around his girlfriend.
You on the other handneed to make a decision that do you really want to be hanging around waiting for a man to get over his ex girlfriend,and on the other hand do you really believe that its possible to get over someone by using another person to deal with loss.
If he had any self respect he would sit with hids feelings by owning them,feeling them.a,d healing them.
Unfortunately he is not going to do that ny using you as a cheap form of grace.
This is s good opportunity for you to do a little bit of growing up in life and face life on its own terms, and do the right thing for you.
In laymans terms he is on the rebound, and the truth of the matter is that rebounds cannot possibly work, because there foundations are basically collusive.
Even the notion that you can remain fdriends is not a healthy one because his feelings for you are only going to damage you.

Answer 4

Hmm, How is your sleep on the 2d? Do you in many situations get the huge-unfold allowance of drowsing hours? loss of sleep might reason reminiscence issues. critically delaying techniques function, especially in case you very under pressure or purely experience low. additionally at your age, i think that it might desire to easily be because of the fact you're actually not as inspired, perchance attempt and perform a little techniques preparation video games, reminiscence and seen trend video games.

Answer 5

i wouldn't put too much effort into this as it sounds as if there is too many barriers.Take things as they come,don't pressure the guy into opening up too soon.I find one of the biggest turn offs is when a girl tries to go into the meaning of everything,just let things go a natural course.
He will make the effort if he wants to,but then he might not,thats the way life works.As you can guess i am not an expert, but i find if you try too hard it can scare people away.

Answer 6

Yes he still has feelings for his girlfriend so it will take sometime to develop that feelings for u, but if you guys continue to get along with each other it will be much easyer. But pls don't push it too hard.

Answer 7

no, he just wants to sleep with you.
probably, thats going to be just about it.
its kinda weird that he just ended a 6 year relationship and after 2 months is okay sleeping just with anyone, he needs to sort him self out and get over the past in other ways.
i since psychological trauma.
- or he made up the 6 year relationship and the breakup so you feel sorry for him and do it! (lol, jus kindin!)
- its normal and healthy to hear you prefer being intimate with people you have feelings for, otherwise you would be a messed up whore. usually, prefering to be with someone you have feelings for is more normal. dont do something you might regret, i dknow : ??
personally, i wouldnt be bother with anyone who didnt really and actually care about me enough, i dont see the point??? + really icky + sad.
also, he needs to be an adult and own up to the responsibilities and consequences ,he shouldnt be playing dumb like an irresponsible school boy or treating you like a thicko, he makes you sound kinda discardable, or like its his choice whether he develops feelings for you later on or not. apologising in advance but i think he sounds kinda pathetic and is a bit of a sado (no offence).

- after the added details, of course you shouldnt rule it out completely. if you like him! dont care and just go for it!

Answer 8

Give him a chance he has not been long out of his relationship.I would take things slowly & see what happens.Good Luck

Answer 9

Sorry no time to read this much long question

Answer 10

if his feeling is in his head its not feeling but thinking uh uh?