People say me and my close friend need professional help but i dont really want it & neither does what now?

Question

me n my close friend who i love have i guess what u call depression cuz of suicidal thoughts & self - harm but im afraid to tell my parents cuz they will be all...yeah... n they have no idea i hurt myself let alone think im depressed but his parents do i dont want my parents to find out cuz they might hate me or soemthing idk but still people are always saying we need professional help or something but we dont want it what should i do? any suggestions?

Answer 1

First off, don't listen to starrwood, she doens't seem to understand how serious this is. Now, you say you friend has told his parents, how did they take it? First off, I don't think your parents would hate you if you told them you were depressed and that you were hurting yourself. At first it may seem like that, because they might possibly be angry (because they are scared most likely), might be scared, might threaten, might not let you leave their sites, etc... I'm not saying this to scare you, but to let you know what may happen if you tell your parents. I'm personally depressed and I self harm, and when I told my parents it was a little akward at first (3 years ago). My mother made me go w/ her to my bros baseball practice because she thought I was going to cut myself or something. It was strange, but she really meant the best. She eventually calmed down though, and she has really helped me. She took me in somewhere where I was diagnosed w/ depression and I started meds and later I saw a counsellor (none of it was forced). My point is, your parents really do care, and imagine what it would be like to hear that your child is depressed and hurting themselves. It is extremely stressful and parents might act really weird, but they will kick in soon enough and will be more supportive. Parents can be a great support system, and you are going to need a good one if you want to get out of this. I know it is scary and daunting, but it really can do alot of good for you. I mean, I told my mother today that I'm still hurting and cutting (ppl thought I was doing good because I was hiding it, and cause I stopped taking my meds lol, my fault) and she was really cool about it, and I'm going back to my counsellor probably so that I can work on some of the stuff again. I'm not trying to say it doesn't work, most often it works (I'm just stupid about it hehe), what I'm trying to say is that I've been there 2 times, and it is scary as hell, but it is worth it. Imagine not hurting anymore, and being able to know that you stopped hurting yourself. You might not be able to see that at this time, but it is worth it and it can be achieved, epsecially with the help of your parents. So, I think that you really should tell your parents, it won't be any trip in the park, but they can really help. Now, I have a suggestion that might help take off the stress and pressure a little. I found this on a site I visited. What you do essentially, is write down why you are hurting, why you hurt yourself, what is going on and what is wrong, and what you want help with. Write down that you really need help and that you would like counselling and medication (that is, if you do want that of course). Also, include some facts about depression and cutting, like some sites to check and statistics and such. Then, you can either use this sheet at a guide to tell your parents how you are feeling (the point of this is to be able to get all your thoughts out before hand so you can remember it when you are under pressure, and so that you can make the points you want to be heard), or you can leave it for your parents to read when you go somewhere like school. That way they will have time to read it and think about it and you will have time to collect your thoughts, giving everyone a chance to cool down. I prefer the one-on-one approach, but many prefer this. So, if you do want to help this might be a good approach.

Now, it is definetly good that you have a friend that understands you and knows what you are going through, but on the same note it is possible that you are feeding off of eachother. Because you both do it, it's possible that in your mind you might start normalizing it and excepting it more, since he is doing it as well. This isn't good, because self harm an depression are not good things. Not saying you should have a friend that should be harsh, or that you should stop being friends with your friend now, but to be careful because you might start thinking it's ok. So, just something to keep your eye out for.

Also, a fact that you might now about cutting. When your cut yourself, signals are sent to your brain that tell it you are in pain, and then your body release endorphines. Endorphines give the person a sense of well being. This is why sometimes after you get hurt (when you aren't self harming, like when you fall and scrape your knee) you feel ok, but then a few mins later if hurts more almost than it did before. Not sure if you have ever noticed that, but I have. Anyways, endorphines are also released when you excercise, do drugs, things like that. That's also why it can be so addictive to ppl, they start to crave that rush and need more and more pain to acheive it. So yeah, if you didn't know that already that might give you more of an idea why you do hurt yourself. These are the kinds of things you should put in the letter if you decide to write one, because it helps give your parents a better sense of what is going on.

Now, here are some sites i would suggest checking out
recoveryourlife.com - this site has a chat room and a message board. It's members are ppl who are cutting, ppl who have stopped cutting and are trying to keep from going back, and those who have stopped and are there to help others. The members are very supportive, and willing to help with most everything. They don't condone cutting though, which some sites do. What I mean by that is, they don't do things like post pics of self harm (because some members can become triggered from pics like that) or say things like "Cutting is so awesome man" "Only really tough ppl can cut themselves" or "Did you know that *celebrity* cuts herself? I'm gonna be like her". That doensn't mean they are supportive, but they are a site aimed at helping ppl stop and will not allow members to glorify cutting like it is cool or healthy. It is a very helpful site. It also has facts, tips, info, stuff like that. It also has info for loved ones of cutters, so you might want to mention that to your parents if you tell them.

http://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=18543 - this site has a list of the main symptoms of depression, so you can run over this to see if you seem to fit.

http://testyourself.netdoctor.co.uk/interactivetests/goldberg.php - this is a depression test, it gives you a score at the end and tells you how likely you are of having depression. This isn't a definitive answer as they don't ask everything that is connected with depression, but it will give you a good start.

http://psyweb.com/Mdisord/jsp/gendepress.jsp - this is a site that may help you get an idea of what type of depression you have (yes, there is more than one). For a rough guess though, I would say that you have major depression, but you will need a doctors diagnoses to be completely positive of what you have.

I must go now, but feel free to emial me if you would like, I know what you are going through (been there and am still there) and I would love to help in any way I can. I'm not some sort of freak, I just like helping others as best I can. Anyways, what ever you decide to do in the end best of luck!
-sarah

Answer 2

You need to see a therapist...i have a friend i truly admire who has the same problem and it will keep coming back unless you do something about it. My friend takes pills and i just give em a hug everyday, make sure i say how are you. All you need is medication for awhile and then you need to fix the chemical inbalance in your head. You and your parents and your friend should face it together instead of procrastinating. You or someone else you care for dearly might get hurt. Depression is a serious thing and it affects more than 1/3 of all people in their life time.

On a job application they will ask you about therapy, but keep in mind that if you dont sort out the problem in your head on your own, you wont have romance or a job because someone with depression but no medication cannot function in a working environment or relationship. I am suggesting therapy.

Answer 3

Google the name of your school district/Psychologist, like: San Juan Unified School District/Psychologist And then see what pops up and hit the link that looks the most promising. And then maybe contact some Ph'd Psyche Broad and ask her advice as a way to break the ice and open the door to a possible avenue of medical treatment. Usually what they would do is try to get her on some anti-depressants and some psyche monitoring until she feels better. I've known a few friends who swear their anti-depressants saved their life, or at least made it semi-happily manageable. It's a tough situation, and sometimes there's nothing you can do.

Answer 4

you do need to talk to someone. i've lost a friend to suicide and believe me-your parents would never get over losing you! even if you guys are having problems, it's nothing that can't be worked out.
it's good to have a friend that you share this with, but you both need to focus your hurt on something positive. do you like the same music? maybe you can plan on an upcoming concert to go to. or find an activity that helps you express yourself. writing, playing an instrument, painting, drawing....
you need to talk to your parents. wouldn't you rather tell them your way rather than waiting 'til your friends parents tell them? that's what will eventually happen. if you need someone to talk to you can contact me thru my profile or 360.
i know it my not seem like it now, but it will get easier. time passes and things will change.

Answer 5

Your parents won't hate you if you tell them. They will hate themselves forever if anything happens to you. Please, please, please get help. You will be so much happier and better off, and then you'll be able to help other kids, too.

Answer 6

dont get help, you will never hold down a job long, and you wont function well, you will never keep a romance going, and you will die alone.