I dated a guy for 6 months after we had met by means of a casual hookup. We ended up really liking each other and started becoming friends and eventually boyfriend and girlfriend. He's older than me and kept back the fact that he was divorced and had kids. I eventually found out and also found out that he had been seeing other people. I also moved away from the city where we had both lived, but somehow we ended up staying in contact. After having lunch with him the last time I was there we both realized we have chemistry and an amazing bond. He was monogamous with his first wife (I met her, asked her point blank) and I feel he has worked hard to reprove himself. Do I try to work things out with him? What do I need from him?
2007-01-16 17:42:25 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Before you consider taking him back you need to ask yourself... are you going to trust him once you have him?
2007-01-16 17:47:30 · answer #1 · answered by gg 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You do not really need anything from him because what he can give you would not be what you really need or want dear Heart. Sure, you have chemistry but beyond that?... Think about what you just wrote here... small details?...Divorced and have kids? Seeing other people?. You feel he has worked hard to improve himself but of course you have your doubts and with good reasons. What else is he hiding from you?
Can you trust him as far as your future happiness is concerned?
He has improved from what?... Did you find out the reason for the divorce from his first wife? Does it mean he has another one now ? Or you are planning on getting married with him? Chemistry is not enough for a happy marriage dear Heart. An amazing bond is possible with a friend too, not necessarily a lover or a husband.
If you are asking yourself the question " What do I need from him?"... You've got your answer right there in your question. Think about it and it will become clear in your mind! I think he needs you more than you need him. Please do not be offended. Just something to meditate about, after all your happiness is important for your peace of mind, your self-esteem, self-love and self-worth.
You've got a good heart and have a lot of compassion. That's where is your vulnerability.
Good luck and be happy being yourself. You do not need someone else to be happy.
2007-01-17 02:12:51 · answer #2 · answered by montralia 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is no getting away from the fact that held back some very important facts. And continued to do so for quite a long time. What can he have done to "reprove" himself? His ex-wife THINKS he was monogamous... I would be unwilling to take a chance with him.
2007-01-17 01:52:52 · answer #3 · answered by and_y_knot 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you shouldn't take him back.first of all,he held back the fact that he had kids from another woman,what makes you so sure that there are no other kids somewhere that you don't know about,remember that he has been seeing other people behind your back and it's "other people" not the ex-wife, no "other people". just think about what you really want
2007-01-17 02:00:09 · answer #4 · answered by fabolous 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want him back then, yes you should take him back but, if you can't trust him then it won't work out. Can you trust him? That is something you have to ask yourself. The only thing you need from him is a promise that he won't cheat or lie again.
2007-01-17 01:48:22 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
DO NOT try to work it out with him. He wasn't honest to you at first so you weren't really in love with the "real" him. He's a liar to you and most likely a liar to his wife. Have more self respect, you deserve better and you can do better than this!
2007-01-17 01:53:46 · answer #6 · answered by Justin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If i were you, i wouldnt trust him anymore cos he lie to u in a very early relationship.
But you said that he was faithful w his ex-wife, and that you both have a chemistry..if you want to give it another shoot..then give it a go.
Make sure that this is what u want..
2007-01-17 01:53:34 · answer #7 · answered by AlisonJonshon 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't do it girl. is he was seeing other people behind your back there is no guarantee that he will not do the same thing again. sorry for the bad news
2007-01-17 01:47:30 · answer #8 · answered by gorira 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't take him back
2007-01-17 02:03:36 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋