Can anyone help me to resolve the fights between my 2 son's whose age is 11yrs & 13yrs. It is driving me crazy

Answer 1

whats the fight???

Answer 2

Let them go at it as long as it doen't become a saftey issue, I tell you this, as a kid my sister and I damnnear tried to kill each other on a daily basis!!! I mean real bad to the point of having each other on the floor and beating the crap out of each other.

Today we are the best of friends, and the closest of family. I don't think we could've achieved that if we didn't get our differences out at an early age. We've both come to respect each other and I wouldn't trade it for the world.

Let them grow up, stop the fights before they become lethal, but let them argue, even "Toss around a bit" I know you'll feel like a bad parent for it but they have to go through it. They have issues they need to settle just like you did with your siblings or parents for that matter.

In the end they'll grow up and the respect will be greater than the bruises.

Answer 3

I have done a few things. Try to give them tasks that they ahve to work together at to solve. This may help with some teambuilding. You can try the "one strike your out". If you hear it, they are to their rooms. No quesitons, explanations, or complaints. You can also go with the no blood, no foul method. Let them hammer it out unless it is truly dangerous. (If it is too noisy inside, throw them out until they can stop). One thing that works with my kids is that allowance method. We start with whatever they usually get. Let's say $5. Everytime you hear arguing or fighting you walk over and take out .25 -.50 cents. Money talks. When they see it leaving their jar (or whatever you keep it in) they may just stop. That is the goal. If htey continue take out another. And another. Whatever amount they have left at the end of the week they keep. You can also do this with tokens that count as video game time or out with friends time. Whatever hits them the hardest.

On the other hand, They are totally old enough to discuss their own problems and solve them. You shouldn't have to do that for them. There are classes in mediation that you or they could take - if they have to stop everything that they are doing and go through a "mediation process" every time they get "into it", they might at least move their arguments out of earshot.

Answer 4

my suggestion is talk to each child seperately to see what it is that is making them have war with each other? You and the two kids sit down, and discuss the problem, and you set the rules, and tell them no fighting, and if they can't stand to be around each other they just seperate themselves from each other. Do each have seperate rooms? If so they don't have to be around each other, and explain to them that you are not having it, and how their actions are affecting you, and taking a toll on you. I would tell my kids this same thing, and I would ask them a question like do you love me? and if you do than why do you two fight all the time are you trying to kill me? Explain that you are tired of them fighting, and set punishments, and restrictions if they continue. It will get worse before it gets better if it's not controlled now. Good Luck.

Answer 5

I would suggest making their fights more playful. Suggest they battle it out at chess, if they're into that. Or maybe just good old Xbox, or some other game environment where they can have fun. But then again that might just create more arguments, so I would be careful with that technique. But maybe they might become friends from all that game playing. Or you could just do something like timeout.

Answer 6

Leave them work it out on there own. only intervene if there is violence. then break them apart and discuss it after every one has calmed down explain why violence is not the way. Or you can send them to different parts of the house and say "you boys stay apart" and watch as they either make up, or get engrossed in something and totaly forget about the fight.

Answer 7

I had twin boys. Same deal. Its the male competitive thing.

They are 34 now, one in England and one in Toronto. They don't fight any more but they still compete.

When the guy in England bought a Porsche, his brother was ****** off.

Its not all bad, they drove each other to succeed in life. Both are making lots of money.

I don't think you can fix it. Just be a really good referee.

Answer 8

It's normal for siblings to fight...send them outside with the order not to come tattling unless there are broken bones protruding through skin or exposed severed artereies pumping blood with every heart beat.

Answer 9

Me and my little brother had the same problem when we were that age and it is all something that kids those age grow out of , but if it lasts for several more years you might have some issues.

Answer 10

Once the 13 year old gets a girlfriend he will change the way he acts, you will see it if he gets a crush too. Good Luck!

Answer 11

anger management class might help.

lead by example. our children almost always mimic us parents. teach them about staying cool, respecting each other's indifference & the value of compromising.

goodluck = )