i need advice!?

Question

Well i got into trouble over the summer over a guy. we're not dating anymore but we're still have feelings and also friends with benefits type relationship. i love you very much but the parents on both sides dont like the fact that im asian and he happens to be black. should i obey my mother wishes by not being with someone of a different race, or should i follow my heart? im totally lost.. i've been stressing for weeks about this =/

you = him...

Answer 1

Tell your mother you didn't realize he was black, and he can say he didn't realize you were Asian. let them stew on that for a minute. then when you need to defend your sarcasm, tell her or them that you are pushing the interracial relationships ,trying to have more and more interracial couples reproduce. eventually in time all the interracial reproductions can only lead to one race.
that in time is the only way possible to stop the racism and hate crime

Answer 2

Well the dilemma is certainly a tough one---plenty of people are in your boat. It is common for certain nationalities to feel that they are not right together. Older family members have set feelings and will express them, instead of wishing the best for a child who makes a choice on their own. First of all the friends with benefits relationship is wrong and makes it even harder when the time comes to separate if it comes down to it. I don't know which one of you is getting the benefit from it, but it is wrong and kind of disrespectful to your parents. Communicate rationally and calmly with your mom at a time that is appropriate for such a talk. Find out exactly what the issues are......then maybe you discuss each point as she mentions them. She may only think the age is wrong or that she wants you to stay pure. Fact is if you are old enough you can do what you want---tell her that and hope she understands. She may just have a controlling issue and no one will ever be right for you. Just politely do what is right for you and still maintain your respect for her. Honestly think about what a future would be with a person of any race outside yours---cultures and customs can clash despite the best efforts not to. Good luck and just be tolerant of your mom

Answer 3

This is a difficult one. When I was in high school, I fell in love with someone my family hated. They begged me not to date him, tried filing charges on him (he was in his 20's at the time) and I was still determined to be with him. Finally they gave up and I moved 6 states away with him. It lasted about 6 months and I realized I didn't love him anymore. That was after 3 years of bull I went through fighting my family for him. If you are young, I would say let it cool down. Chances are, you;ll end up dating a few more people anyway before you find "the one". And of course, always try to respect your moms wishes when you can and you think it's right. She loves you and hopefully only wants what she feels is the best. (But sometimes what they feel is the best realy isn't...but it's something you should seriously evaluate). Following your heart is a great thing, but brain should ALWAYS be first. Don't let love blind you. btw...I'm not a granny here..I'm in my 20's. (Just so you don't think I'm outdated lol!!!!)
Best of Luck!!!

Answer 4

If you love him and the he has something to offer the relationship, (by that, I mean he's a stable person, has a job and will respect you) then maybe you should give it a shot. Just be ready for a fight with your mother. It won't be easy. But sometimes when it comes to love, you have to make some sacrifices. Good luck to you.

Answer 5

Well all i can say is that u have to know what u truly feel about the guy, first try going out with other guys and see if your need to be with him really reflects, because unfortunately most black guys go out with other races because of a fashion statement and to prove to their mates that their it. So be careful and if he really loves u then tread carefully.

Answer 6

You have one heck of a decision to make. What I think you need to remember is that this is your choice to make. You just have to decide knowing all the facts and consequences.

First, I think its important for you to understand that you cannot force, change, or expect the parents (especially your parents) to understand your point of view. You need to know that your choice is between the feelings you have for this dude, or the love you have for your parents. In time they may accept your decision, but don't expect them to. In today's world, Asian people are successful and black people are low performers. You should readily see how your parents only want the best for you.

So, with this in mind, DECIDE! You just need to know that your decision may cause you to lose your parents either for awhile or for good.

Answer 7

ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS follow your heart. I can't stress that enough. What would you do if you had to grow up single and knowing that you had a chance for true love with someone and you blew it. Please follow your heart because any trouble you guys get it for dating won't even nearly compare to the pain and regrets you'll feel when you're older. Please think about it for me. Good luck!

Answer 8

if you really care for this young man then you and he should talk
about it, but if it not working out then leave it along, and that mean
stop the benefits. cut all ties. that the problem you can have it
both ways, time to deal or get out of it all together, but dont let
any tell you how you feel. love has no color.

Answer 9

from the way you are talking sounds like you are to young to be having a "friend with benefits".........and if it is that type of relationship how can you say you love him?? that is usually refering to someone that you just sleep with and have no feelings for.....you need to rethink some things dear.....

Answer 10

Sounds like you are still living at home, so you'll have to go by her rules. Besides, moms do know best when you're that young.