Am I overeacting?

Question

Bear with me I know this is kind of long

My mom and I use to be really close and talk every day. A couple of weeks ago I decided to not attend the church she is at. She is upset and says that I am going to regret raising my children this way when I realize it's wrong.
Anyway, She calls me every morning after dropping my brother off at school. Friday she asked me if she could keep my kids Monday night so that my hubby and I could go out for our 4th anniversary. (since she really isn't speaking to me other than her daily morning call she is missing the kids. I said yes! that would be great
-seeing as we haven't had a night kid free since our last anniversary. Monday morning came and she never called.. I thought ok thats weird she calls every morning. I didn't really want to call her because I just didn't feel comfortable saying "hey it's my anniversary remember you were going to watch the kids?" So I waited and waited..
She didn't call again this morning and I actually thought something might be wrong so I finally gave in and called but didn't ask about what had happened. It crossed my mind Monday night that last week she had offered to watch them on a Friday but then "got plans" and it suddenly changed to a Wednesday -they were sick and could not go though ` anyway she finally calls
at 6 pm tonight and says "Oh I got busy taking down my Christmas tree yesterday and I never heard from you about the boys? Why don't you let them spend the night tom night? -Which again is a Wednesday~ Is she trying to fool me to get them to go to church with her? I am a little hurt that she didn't remember my anniversary since I even buy them presents for theirs! I just wanted
her to remember. Am I overeacting? I just felt like I at least deserved an apology? Or do you think it was my responsibility to call her?

Answer 1

I don't think you are overeacting at all. Try talking to her about it. Just say you know ... It hurt my feelings that you forgot my anniversary. Sounds kind of cheesy but hey she is your mother

Answer 2

Here's the thing honey. You have a mother, who loves you and although this may be hard to hear, you are being just as stubborn as she is. Now ask yourself is it worth it? The two of you are playing "uncle" and waiting to see who cries out first. Do you really want this to come between the two of you? Things could be far worse....I'll explain:
I had a mother that, much like you, I was extremely close to. We were the best of friends. When I got married, I started shying away from my Catholic upbringing and wasn't going to church as much as she would like. I made up the dumbest excuses for not going. Then, on the Sunday after Christmas a few years back, I had promised to go to church with the family. Of course I made a stupid excuse at the last minute and didn't go. On the way home from church that day, my parents were in a horrible accident that took my mother's life. Everyday I live with the guilt. that was my fault. My mother should have never have been on that road. If I had gone to church like I promised, we would have been at brunch at the time the other car crossed that center line. My mother would still be here.

You have that chance. Whether it's religion or who forgot to call who, or when she's suppose to watch the kids....it doesn't matter. Cry "uncle" honey, no matter how old we get, we are always going to need our moms.

Answer 3

I think that you are both being stubborn and you need to be the one to call her. make a date for just the two of you to get together and hash out what is coming between you. 1) She should have watched the kids like she said, but you could have called her to confirm the time/plans, etc. So, on that issue you are both at fault. You have every right to be hurt, but the Anniversary isn't really the issue, is it? 2) It seems you are an adult now with your own family, and you are making decisions for that family that you feel are the best. Your mother may not agree, but she should respect you choices nonetheless. You need to sit down face to face and talk to your mom. Tell her how you feel. She probably needs to let out some hurt feelings too. Let her know that it is your decision about your faith and the faith of your kids and she needs to respect that. Also, let her know that trying to take the kids to services behind your back is unacceptable. Be firm, but sincere. She loves you and only wants what she THINKS is best. You need to let her know that even though you may make mistakes, you are old enough to make those mistakes on your own and still want her support. Good luck.

Answer 4

You need to point blank ask her about the church thing. And I would be honest about how you feel about church and your faith.

This is bothering you so come right out with it.

As far as her watching the kids and not being there, that should be a completely separate issue. Even if she was mad at you, she promised to watch them and it was your anniversary.

Don't let this come between you guys, especially since you and your mom are close. I know you can work it out.

Answer 5

No you are right, she is pissed and you have to pay the price?I think not, no you tell your Mom in a nice sweet tone, that her believes are her's but they don't have to be your's, and let her think about that, don't call for a few day's and then call her and tell her that you want to talk personally and get everything out again in the open. you don't have to raise your kid's the same way you were raised.

Answer 6

I'm sorry, I fell asleep reading your question......

I'd say that you have to grow up and stop letting mommy tell you what to do.

Now.... back to sleep for me.....

Answer 7

call her now !!!! before its too late

Answer 8

You are right ,,,,, much too long