I want to hear funny jokes?

Question

:-D

no i want you to tell me a funny joke

Answer 1

You sure do........

Edit: Im sorry, Heres my favorate blonde joke

A blonde, brunnette, and a redhead are running away from the police because they have just finished a bank heist, they try to find a hiding spot and find three bags. The police catch up to them but theyve each hid in each bag. One cop kicks the first bag containing the brunette, when he does, the brunete meows and the police think the bag has a cat in it. They kick the second bag containing the redhead and she barks. The police think its a dog so they leave it alone. They finally go to the last bag containing the blonde and again they kick it. This time the blonde says "Potatoes!"

Answer 2

i guy walks into a bar and sees a sign above the bar that reads "if you can make my horse laugh, i will give you $50." so the guy orders a beer and asks the bartender "is that sign for real?" the bartender says "sure, i have a horse out back and if you can make him laugh i'll give you $50." so the guy figures, here's an easy $50. so the bartender follows the guy out back and the guy whispers something in the horse's ear and the horse busts out laughing. the bartender was amazed and gives the guy $50.

a week later the guy walks into the same bar and there's a new sign. "if you can make my horse cry, i will give you $100". again, the guy wants to know if the sign is true. again, the bartender tells him it is. so they go out back and the guy walks over to the horse and shows the horse something and the horse starts whimpering then outright bawling.

the bartender is truly amazed and pays the guy the $100. they go back into the bar and the guy orders another beer. the bartender is really curious and asks the guy how he got the horse to laugh and then cry.

the guys says "well to make him laugh i told him that my thingy was bigger than his." "to make him cry, i showed him".

Answer 3

Once a girl in the mental asylum happens to save a man from drowning in the pool right, so the doctor comes to her the next day and says I have 2 news for your one good and one bad
good one being - as you saved the man we are concluding that you cannot be mad

bad one being - the man whom you saved committed suicide by hanging himself off the fan

the girls says no no he did not committ suicide, I hung him up there as he was wet I hung him up so he could dry

hope this is funny for you have a nice day and be happy

Answer 4

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other man pulls out his phone and calls emergency services.

He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator in a calm, soothing voice replies: "Take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."

There is a silence, then a shot is heard.

Back on the phone, the hunter says, "OK, now what?"

Answer 5

Here is a one liner for you!

The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine.

Answer 6

ha ha humorous! ok so there are 4 adult males at a bar. the 4th guy is going to the bathing room mutually as he's long previous the different 3 communicate. the 1st guy says "My satisfaction and excitement is my son! He Graduated and grew to alter right into a air pilot! He even despatched a jet to his perfect buddy for his birthday!" the 2d guy replies by using asserting " it fairly is large! My satisfaction and excitement is likewise my son! he's a millionaire! He even despatched a mansion to his perfect buddy for his birthday!" The third guy Says "My Son owns his very own business enterprise and despatched a million money to his perfect buddy!" all of them congratulate one yet another. Then the fourth guy Comes returned in. He asks "Why are you adult males congratulating one yet another?" all of them respond by using asserting "we are purely speaking approximately are sons. What does your son do?" He then says "Oh my son is a gay male stripper." The 2d guy says "it fairly is a shame!" The 4th guy replies by using asserting "i'm not likely a shamed of him. final year for his birthday he have been given a jet, a mansion, and a million money from his 3 boyfriends."

Answer 7

I don't know do you want to hear funny jokes???

Answer 8

A priest, a rabbi and an imam walk into a bar.
The owner pulls out a shotgun and levels it at them, saying
"Beat it, you bastards! I run a respectable place here!"

Answer 9

I told my psychiatrist that everybody hates me. He said "Don't be ridiculous, not everybody has met you yet."

When I was a kid, my parents moved around alot, I always found them.

Once, somebody stole our car. I asked my wife if she saw who it was. She said, "No, but I did get the license number".

My cousin is gay; I always tell him that in our family tree, he's in the fruit section.

I asked him, "Who said you could fool around with my wife?" He said, "Everybody."

Answer 10

what do you can a blonde in the front seat?





























































































































a air bag


















(/ ' v' /) <- owlie!!!!