I'm 30 and getting married but not sure who should pay for a wedding if I've been out of my parents house since I was 21. I don't make alot of money but my parents are loaded! Should I assume I'm paying and wait for them to offer?
2007-01-16 15:31:53 · 36 answers · asked by jordan1079 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Traditonally your parents pay for EVERYTHING in the wedding itself. Your fiance's family pays for the rehearsal dinner. I would ask your parents if they are willing to contibute to the wedding. If not, my sugguestion is to go on a Weddingmoon. Where you go away to get married at your honeymoon location!
Wish I would have done that!
2007-01-16 15:36:23 · answer #1 · answered by princessbummer 3 · 6⤊ 2⤋
If you have strong ideas about what you want, assume that you will also be paying for it.
Very few parents write a check and say, "here, honey, have whatever you want" If your parents are that gracious, then talk to them.
Our 28-year-old, independent daughter just had the wedding of her dreams. We have no idea what it cost. We gave her a check, knowing that it was generous, and made all the difference, but it did not cover the whole thing. Then we just let her manage the budget and choose what she wanted.
Guidance included some wedding dress shopping, saying, "oh honey, do you really think doing the fresh flower arrangements ourselves is how you want to spend your rehearsal day?" and a "well, maybe a baseball theme at the reception would be fun..."
We had a glorious time... If your parents can be that open-handed with their money, it could be a real blessing. If they would want to control things, it could be a source of stress -- then just do something simple that you can afford and enjoy your day.
2007-01-16 17:16:57 · answer #2 · answered by snickersmommie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That depends on the parents. Etiquette would be that seeing as you have been on your own for quite some time it would be assumed that you will be paying along with your fiancee. That is pretty much the norm nowadays anyhow. Most parents will chip in and offer to buy things or give money at the end. Depends on the parents. If you feel comfortable asking them then I would say sure go for it. If not wait for them to offer. As well, not sure if your fiancees family is still around but if they are you could sit down with all the parents and ask if they are able to help you guys out. Don't forget many couples raise money by having stag and does. Also seeing as you have been on your own for some time and probably have most of the necessities you could sign up to have people put money in your honeymoon fund. That will be better than china and appliances that you will barely ever use. Congrats!!
2007-01-16 16:38:05 · answer #3 · answered by Michelle 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you shouldnt wait and just assume they will pay for it. you are 30- possibly your fiance is around the same age. At this point in your lives you should have a few dollars put up to work this event out on your own.
Yes it would be nice if your parents helped, but you should never ask. I say make your wedding to be what you yourself can reasonably afford with out help and then adjust accordingly as funds come in.
I am 30 as well, planning my one and only marriage. My fiance and I are paying for it ourselves because we feel it would mean more to us.
But to each his own. If they offer, accept graciously and thank them. But know that every dollar someone gives you- the more input they feel obliged to give...
2007-01-16 17:16:18 · answer #4 · answered by glorymomof3 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The tradition of the bride's parents paying for everything is a little outdated now. Things are getting mroe and more expensive and a lot of parents can't afford it and most don't anymore. Even though your parents are loaded, i think it would be rude to just assume they are paying for everything. You should go ahead and start planning things according to what you can afford, and then if they offer, take it and maybe change some of your plans a little to fit your new budget. FYI, i'm currently paying for my whole wedding myself, as did my sister.
2007-01-16 16:53:56 · answer #5 · answered by katskradle 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
From my understanding its the woman's parents who traditionally pay for the wedding.
From every TV show I've seen to anything else just about its always been the wife's parents. But some couples pay for their own wedding and then the parents pay them back. Remember though a big wedding is nice but that money could goto a new house instead.
2007-01-16 15:36:27 · answer #6 · answered by Frak 3 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Assume nothing. However, in western culture traditional weddings, usually the parents of the bride pay for the wedding. The parents of the groom pay for the rehearsal dinner and gifts to the groomsmen.
Talk to your parents and ask them if they can, and to what extent they can help you out. If they are unwilling, or unable, they will tell you so. I think you will find they are likely to want to help more than you know. Congratulations and best wishes to you both!
2007-01-16 15:39:56 · answer #7 · answered by Mr. US of A, Baby! 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
in todays world it is bloody expensive it have a wedding your 30 and cant afford it. why have the big shin dig just go get married and have a gathering at your house to announce to your friends family ect that you got married. if you can afford it go for a hliday honeymoon and get married along the way then when yu get back home have gathering, and mok up a wedding have one of your friends play the part of the minister. but then again you say your parents have the money talk to them about it maybe they are willing to pay for it or at least some of it.
2007-01-17 13:00:17 · answer #8 · answered by jhdjkhblpk;mvhyf nbjhghbmnbjgb 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you told your parents yet you are getting married??? If this is your first wedding, tell your parents that you need to set up a budget and ask them if they are planning to help you with the wedding. If this is not your first wedding, then you should pay. It would be nice if they offered.
2007-01-16 15:38:35 · answer #9 · answered by janetrmi 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You have been out of the home for awhile!! You should not assume that they are paying for the wedding!! You should go to your mother and begin a conversation about your wedding and let her know what type of wedding you invision and that you don't think you could get it doone on your budget alone!! Any Good Mother would finish the statment letting oyu know there intentions nad how much they are going to help out with!!! Good Luck!
2007-01-20 09:20:58 · answer #10 · answered by sexychocolatecity21 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this is your first wedding, I think they should pay for it. I would just call up mom and ask to set a lunch date where you can talk about the wedding. Take a blank budget and just open it up like "how many guests will you need to invite" and progress from there. I'd just assume.
If you have been married before, I'm afraid I'd say that you should pay for it. I'd still take mom to lunch to go over wedding stuff and let her know from the get-go how much of a budget you have. She may kindly offer to contribute to avoid the embarrassment of a cheesy wedding...
If you have both been married before, you should both split the costs.
Good luck, sweetie! I would like to say, though, that if you have not been married before you should definitely get the kick-in from your folks for not wasting their money earlier... :)
2007-01-17 00:52:46 · answer #11 · answered by Kristi C 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋