My step-son told his father and me tonight that when he is over there his mother will wash him when he takes a shower or bath. He specifically mention that she washes his "backside". When we asked why he said "because she wants to" he washes himself fine at our house. She says there isn't anything wrong with it. We disagree.
2007-01-16 15:30:18 · 19 answers · asked by sadie m 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
Seems a little overkill to me. I don't think she's a perv or anything, but she probably is a control freak or a germ-a-phobe.
Does the step-son have a weird vibe about it? He should just tell her he can do it himself and ask her to stop.
She really should respect that. If she refuses, she's got a problem and I would investigate further.
Good luck!
2007-01-16 15:35:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
She is mothering him. And possibly trying to make up for lost time. She only sees the kid on weekends and probably doesn't know that he can do this by himself. Now if when he is at your house and you notice stains in his underwear, then he is not washing as well as you think he is.
My son was 12 years old and had been bathing himself for years. One day I looked at his legs and noticed dirt that looked as if it were building for months... I asked him how he was washing and he told me that he washes all the crucial parts and lets the water run down his legs... He was not scrubbing his legs or feet! Needless to say, I made him strip down to his underwear and I personally scrubbed him from head to toe, skipping over his private area, until his skin turned a different color!
Now having told you that let me ask you a question... Are you concerned that she is over mothering the child that she only sees on weekends or are you thinking that she is molesting the boy?
I should also ask you this...Do you have any children of your own? It sounds like you dont. Because if you did you would not see any problems with what this mother is doing. I should tell you that a mother will always be a mother...havent you been watching " Every body loves Raymond"?
2007-01-16 15:48:48 · answer #2 · answered by Adrienne C 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
No he is too old too be washed unless he has a physical disiabilty. You know how mothers stop taking baths with their child when they reach 2-3 years old well the same rule should apply to an 8 year old.
2007-01-17 03:29:25 · answer #3 · answered by ஐ♥Julian'sMommy♥ஐ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, I think she should let him bath himself,first then she should wash him a second time to make sure that he did a good job. So there isn't anything wrong with her washing him up. When is 10 and up then it's time to stop.
2007-01-17 06:07:04 · answer #4 · answered by This is just my opinion! 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Eight year old boys do NOT wash themselves correctly. I let my kids wash themselves most of the week, but once or twice I go in there specifically to scrub their necks and buttcracks. It's disgusting...but someone has to do it and the kids surely won't. My dentist says that at eight you should still be brushing their teeth a few times a week to make sure it's done properly.
My son is almost twelve, and I don't do that anymore. But he still doesn't bathe correctly, hardly remembers to wash his hair, soaps what he remembers and that's it. I tell him if he doesn't do it correctly I sure as heck will come in there and do it. That keeps him motivated for a few days.
There is nothing wrong with it.
2007-01-17 01:55:19 · answer #5 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, my 8 year old takes a shower on his own. I feel that once a child is able to wash themselves without problem, the parents should not come into the bathroom with them at all unless they are asked for help.
Mom's got a problem.
2007-01-17 03:02:36 · answer #6 · answered by Jessie P 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds a little weird,he washes just fine at home I would just keep an eye on the situation. My daughter is 9 and sometimes I wash her hair because she leaves too much soap in it, but she does everything else.
2007-01-17 02:17:28 · answer #7 · answered by Urchin 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would think if he is uncomfortable with her washing him, he should let her know, I dont wash my seven year old all the time but everyonce in awhile I do because I dont think he does a great job, I always wash his hair though. She is HIS MOM, I dont know if you have children of your own, but I dont think there is any problem with it, Maybe his dad should ask him how he feels and if he "feels strange" ask why. I hope that helps
2007-01-16 15:51:52 · answer #8 · answered by misheal 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ask him about it. Does he mind? I think if he did then he would say something. Get details of how she washes him. Does she touch him inappropriately or touch his genitals with her hand? These are question your husband needs to ask (in an age appropriate manner) in order to see if there is sexual abuse. If nothing seems wrong with him I wouldn't do anything about it. If your husband, his ex-wife/girlfriend, and his son do not mind I wouldn't get into it. I know it'll be a tough conversation but I'm sure it'll give both you and your husband peace of mind. Good Luck!
2007-01-16 15:47:38 · answer #9 · answered by .vato. 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My son is 7 and he washes himself and wipes his butt but if he needs help or feels like he didn't wipe or clean enough he still yells MOMMMMMMMMMMMMM MOMMY>>>> come and help me so I think that sometimes the kids are not telling the "whole story" see what she says about it before you jump to any conclusions.
Good Luck
2007-01-16 15:37:40 · answer #10 · answered by justwondering 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋