My best friend just got engaged this past weekend, and we had been knowing that it was coming, but hadn't wanted to jinx things by trying to get ahead on the planning. We live in Texas and and she is wanting to have it in Aug of this year in either Louisianna or Florida. I dont really mind traveling, but I know that the farter away it is the harder it will be to plan it. I am already dieting so that I can fit into any dress she wants to pick for me and really want to do the best job that I can as her maid-of-honor I just dont really know what to do or how to do it. How not to overstep the bounds but take enough control that she is not stressed out. I know it sounds like I am just being overly paranoid but this is my best friend and I want the best for her. Any help?
2007-01-16 15:28:43 · 11 answers · asked by kellie_new_mom25 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Try not to get too involved. My maid of honour keeps asking me every day about my plans and keeps prodding me to get more planning done and it really irritates me. Do the bride a favour and only be as involved as she wants. If she asks for help, by all means give it to her. But if she doesn't, stay out of her way as this is a very stressful time. From my experience both as a bride-to-be and a maid of honour, the only thing the maid of honour really needs to do is help out if the bride asks, and throw the bridal shower. And i personally believe that most of the wedding planning should be done by the bride and groom alone, unless they request assistance, as it's their special day and all decisions are theirs to make.
2007-01-16 17:05:54 · answer #1 · answered by katskradle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you job is to plan the wedding shower and bachelorett party. Do the wedding shower first, do it about three or four months before the wedding, make a list of everyone who she knows and would want to be there, ask her parents for names as well for the family members you dont know of because you dont want to miss someone out. Make invitations up and mail them out to everyone at least a month early, give a call up about a week later to most of them if not all to see if they got their invitation. Buy the party supplies (balloons, streamers and etc.) get a cake that says congratulations, and find a place where you can hold this event. And remember to get all the bride maids to help and chip in with the cash as well. They all should be there helping you, you are in charge so they need to listen to you as well, find out what kind of food to make and buy and have the wedding shower. Next would be the bachelorett party, depending on the bride have a fun night with the girls if there alcohol or not, having fun games and stories to tell. You could even get everyone to buy her a some sexy clothes for her honeymoon. Ask the other maids for their opinion and go from there. And rather than that, you just be there with her when she buys her dress and give her the support, help her out with the plans shes making and help out on the invitations. If she wants you to do something she will tell you and be ready to do it.
2007-01-17 02:05:42 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The absolute biggest thing you can do is be there for her when she needs you, and let her know that you're willing to help. There are some books out there specifially for maids of honor, but what might be good is to read up on some general wedding stuff so that you can help her out in all areas.
When I was maid of honor a couple of years ago, the bride chose Weddings For Dummies as her main reference - I got it out of the library too to keep up. Don't stress too much though - that may only add to her stress! Your job is to be there and to help and support and keep her from meltdown, etc. And you'll probably get to plan the wedding shower, bachelorette party, whatever.
And wanting to look your best is one thing, but a considerate bride - which I'm sure your friend is - will choose a dress that flatters you whatever size and shape!
Congratulations and good luck!
2007-01-16 23:51:33 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm a new long-distance maid of honor as well. I just told my friend that I would help her with whatever she needed.
You can be a great sounding board for ideas from dresses to favors. She might need help with phone calling while she's looking for locations etc. You'll find if you just check in with her and be an ear, she'll be more than willing to ask for your advice and assistance.
Sometimes the best thing is to simply say, "what can I do to help?"
We should both get books on how to throw a great bridal shower or bachelorette party.
2007-01-16 23:43:42 · answer #4 · answered by jess 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My maid of honor had never even been in a wedding in any way before, so she was totally clueless. Begin by asking her outright what you can do to help. Ask her to give you a list of things she would like you to do if you want. Ask if she would like you to go dress shopping with her. A maid of honor may want to give a shower, but if you know her mom you could always ask her mom for help and ask the bride for names/addresses of people she would like to invite. Make a fun girls night out for a bachelorette party - even if it is just going out to bar or a slumber party or something. Otherwise - just be there for her. Ask her what she would like you to do. I was a pretty easy going bride - so I didn't have my maid of honor do anything - she just helped throw the shower by cooking some food and handing me the presents and the night before the wedding she stayed with me right up until the wedding.
2007-01-16 23:38:33 · answer #5 · answered by Jaime 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's always best to ask your friend, but here are some ideas to get you started.
Maid of Honor Duties
As the Maid of Honor or Matron of Honor, you have one of the most important roles in making sure the bride's and groom's wedding is a success. Many times the groom will not help out as much as the bride would like which is why your role is so important! Below we have listed some of the top maid of honor duties to make the process more manageable and creative:
Pre Wedding
Help in going with the bride to look at different locations for the wedding. Many times the Bride needs help in choosing where to have the ceremony and party besides what day and time to have the wedding. Ask if you can participate in this process since it can be a very stressful.
Help the bride choose her wedding invitations as well as possibly address the invitations if she needs your support. Many times a bride may outsource her invitations but if they need to be addressed by the family, your help will be key in reducing the load of tasks to complete.
Go with the bride when she is shopping for her wedding dress as well as the Bridesmaid Dresses. It is very important to help make sure the dresses are ordered and arrive in enough time for alterations! It is helpful for you to attend the multiple fittings in giving your friend some feedback in how the dress looks and fits. Check out our partner, Perfect Bridesmaid Dresses, for great name-brand discount wedding and bridesmaid dresses.
Help the bride in the seating arrangement. This can be a very difficult process with the more people coming to the wedding. Many times it makes it easier to draw out the tables and move people around until you have a close to perfect fit. Note: It is very helpful to bring this drawing to the wedding just in case there are any mix-ups, you will save the day!
Host and Plan the Bridal Shower as well as the Bachelorette Party!
Help keep order and organization with the other bridesmaids.
Attend and help out during the rehearsal dinner. Many times the bride, groom and their families are pre-occupied and forget about things which is where you can save the day by being organized.
Field messages for the bride and her family to make sure you are up on any changes (especially if they are last minute changes that affect the other guests).
Wedding Day
Make sure the bride arrives to the ceremony and that she has everything on the Maid of Honor Checklist that we have created to make your life easier.
Assist the bride in getting into her dress and makeup
Be the messenger if the bride wants to communicate messages to the family or groom so you are always up on what is going on.
Help make sure the bride has privacy if she needs some quiet time before the ceremony.
Be the witness in the signing of the marriage license which is an honor!
Help the bride with her veil and train (if she has one). I have seen many weddings where brides have tripped on their train which takes away from her experience for a moment.
Be your friend's "right-hand-woman" at the altar. She may be very nervous and you can be the calming source with your presence.
Keeper of the brides bouquet during the ceremony. Make sure you have a free hand.
Keeper of the groom's ring. It is your task to also make sure the groom's ring is in your possession at all times until you give the ring over to the bride!
Make a toast and/or speech during the wedding party since it is tradition and most people love hearing these friendship stories!
Last, but not least, provide moral support and be a great listener throughout the process since it is a very wonderful and "positively" stressful time for your friend. You can really make the difference!
2007-01-16 23:57:17 · answer #6 · answered by Missing 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had the best maid of honor and bridesmaids. They were with me whenever any of them could be. They took who I am into consideration when planning anything, They did what I would like or want..not what was trendy or expensive. Maids of honor have alot of work to do, shower fittings, phone calls,etc etc. don't freak yourself out trying to do everything. Just continue to be her best friend. PS Anything she says now will change so stay alert!!!
2007-01-16 23:38:16 · answer #7 · answered by luvmycrafties 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing you can do is stand by her. Be a friend, be there for the stressful times, and make her feel better. Ask her if there is anything you can do to help her. Support her she is going to need it some days.
2007-01-17 01:58:54 · answer #8 · answered by nay 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be there for her, use the internet as a tool to do some planning. Talk on the phone and make sure you find out what she wants.
2007-01-17 04:46:22 · answer #9 · answered by marie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My big sister is my MOH. she has found that http://www.maidofhonor.org has TONS of great information for other MOH's. Check it out- it may give you some tips!!!
2007-01-17 01:21:06 · answer #10 · answered by glorymomof3 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋