We used to be extremely close, and I don't want to hurt her, but she is being very negative about anything to do with my wedding. I have tried to talk about how I feel with her, but she always becomes very defensive, and turns the tables on me. How do I involve her in the wedding, such as answering her questions about plans, and still avoid hurting either of us?
2007-01-16 15:28:22 · 8 answers · asked by Missing 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
She's old. Just ignore her negativity. We have no idea what happens to the thinking, emotions, everything as we age. You never know what her underlying thoughts are.
Depending on the situation, you could just ask her - gently "grandma - you seem to have some issues with the wedding. Is it anything I've done because I'd like to share my happiness with you."
But regardless of her answer, or if you talk to her or not, Answer her questions cheerfully about the wedding when she asks. And continue to ask her if she wants to see this picture or that. If she is negative, feel sorry for her rather than angry. But do NOT stop offering.
But don't play games with her, the silent treatment or whatever.
Either gently confront her about it or competely let it go. Anything else is passive-aggresive and very immature.
2007-01-16 16:35:11 · answer #1 · answered by apbanpos 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Weddings shoud be happy events. Keep in mind that you want to look back and remember the good parts that include your grandma. Perhaps you can come up with some small task that gives her something to do so she feels like she is included and you have something positive to discuss about the upcoming nuptials. The task doesn't have to be something important, just something to occupy her and perhaps dismiss the negativity. It's an idea. Congratulations on your wedding!
2007-01-16 23:38:54 · answer #2 · answered by T's CRM SCNE 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wonder why she is not all for the wedding.
I know that some people some my family and some friends have told me after a divorce that they sure wished i had told them not to marry.
your grandmother might be seeing something that you have not . i say ask her to tell you point for point what is the matter what her reasons are for this mood.
after all that you still go for the wedding thank her for telling you how she feels. tell her that you hope is is wrong but you feel this is something you have listened to her about and now you would like her to please attempt to either join in the joy of setting this all up or just bite her tongue and wait for the big day and pray it is all a success
2007-01-16 23:37:55 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't bring it up around her and when she answers give very brief answers my mom was the same way and now she is doing it about the house we are buying. I know how it feels its best just to brush it off as their problem.Try not to let it get you down good luck!
2007-01-17 00:24:51 · answer #4 · answered by emmandal 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she's afraid of loosing your relationship to your new husband. Are there tasks for your wedding she could do or assist with?
2007-01-16 23:37:32 · answer #5 · answered by Wiscdance 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you write her a nice letter explaining that it's your wedding and that you have tried to talk with her about it explain how you feel and tell her you love her.she cant argue until she's read the letter that way.
if she still cant see reason then you will have to be more firm.be nice.
2007-01-16 23:39:33 · answer #6 · answered by BUSHIDO 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
what doesn't she like about the wedding?
2007-01-16 23:35:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she is afraid of losing you and to her you would always be her little grandaughter.
2007-01-16 23:42:18 · answer #8 · answered by Jamie T 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋