Is it ok for my 8 yr old step son to sleep in the same bed as his mother when he visits her on weekends?

Question

He lives with his father and sleeps in his own room when he is there. he has his own bedroom at his mother's house also.

Answer 1

Please don't be too hard on eithe rthe boy or his Mom. I also saw your post about washing about his backside during those visits as well. I truly am not trying to upset you, but remember that this is his mother for pete sake. I hope that my boys occasionally will want to snuggle up with me when they get a bit older. I know several moms who welcome this when their husbands are out of town on business. Although I have had my fair share of diapers and potty training, I will likely be assisting with bathtimes for a few years as well. I consider myself a health and well adjusted mother and I am sure that you are just being cautious - you should be applauded for that - but please don't let step family issues creep in here (as they may have) and I don;t recall if you wrote about your own biological kids. It is much, much different when you view this from a biological parental bond standpoint.
All that said, if you ever become truly suspicious of unnacceptable behavior, please discuss it immediately and ONLY with your husband and go from there.
Good Luck and take care.

Answer 2

Its his mother, they can sleep in the same bed if he's 8 or 80. I'm 26 and I've still slept in the same bed as my mother and father (camping, traveling, etc). I work with kids and any time I do a sleepover with any group the hardest thing to do is keep the kids NOT sleeping with me, on me, or touching me. When my fiancees brother was 8 we'd always wake up with him in our bed when we were visiting his family.

Unless you think he's being assaulted relax.

True, his own bed would be better, but if she only sees him on weekends, its a way for them to bond and make up for time apart.

Answer 3

It's good practice for him to sleep in his own bed, but as a mother of an 8 yr old daughter who always wants to sleep (and I let her sometimes) with us, I don't think it's a big deal at all.

I have a 12 year old son and he doesn't want to sleep in the bed with me but he does like to make a bed on the floor in my room sometimes.

Who cares?

Answer 4

If I were you I would stay out of this. You need to inforce the rules at your house and not worry about what his bio mother does. If you were my husbands new wife and were trying to medal in how I was raising my son I would have a few words for you. Have you ever thought maybe she misses him and wants to be close to him when she is able to have him? I think if he were a teenager this would be weird but he is still pretty small and regardless this is none of your business.

Answer 5

Nothing wrong with this. The two get little time together so he probably needs this as much as her. A mothers love doesn't end when the child is dropped home to dad. He probably needs this as bonding time. Unless there are fears of molestation (rare in mother son relationships) leave them be

Answer 6

Why would this make you uncomfortable? How did you find out about it? If he is close to his mom, and doesn't get to see her much, I can see why he might want to be in the same bed for security and closeness. My son is 7 and he still loves to cuddle and rock in our rocking chair, and if his father is out of town, he wants to sleep in the same bed. He doesn't feel like a "baby" when he does this (nor do I treat him like one) -- he just likes to be close and cuddle.

I would need more information about the situation before I drew any conclusions, but on the surface I would have to say there is nothing wrong with it.

Answer 7

I think he might just miss her, I mean he only sees her on weekends he wants his mommy close to him and that can't be bad if he sleeps in his own bed everywhere else, he's a kid after all feeling weird probobly about alot of changes and being able to sleep with his mom must be comforting. My son is seven and if he wasn't such a horrible sleeper who kicks like a mule at night he'd probobly be sleeping with me and my husband.

Answer 8

I would not recommend changing sleeping habits at night. But, it could be cool to go in with Mom and watch cartoons in bed on Saturday morning. There's nothing wrong with a kid that young hanging out with a parent that way. I'd cut it off in a couple of years.

Answer 9

I think you might have a problem with his mom, I read your other question and I know I don't know the story AT ALL! but If I did not get to see my sons except on short visits I would sleep with them and cuddle and cry when they had to go back home. She might just miss him and want to spend every second with him, If its joint custody and she sees him often and he does not like how she treats him, maybe if dad feels comfortable talking with her about your step sons concerns, but if he is fine with it then let it go and spend your time not worrying about it.

Answer 10

I'm starting to think you're an obsessive controling stepmom, you've asked two questions back to back about things his own mom does with/to him, If you think he's being abused or molested then call CPS, otherwise accept the fact that she is the biological mom and you are not and get over yourself. Jesus, just because a mom sleeps with her kids does not mean she is molesting them! Have your own baby and quit meddling.