Can anyone help me? My childerns father is giving me a hard time.?

Question

Ok, I have two childern (I had twins), and about 4 months after I had them the father ran off. Shortly afterwards I went to Public Aid to try and get help for child support. My kids are know 14 months old, and I still haven't received anything. When I call and ask whats up, they tell me he quit the job he had. He has done this quite a few times, and they tell me there is nothing they can do about it. Now the last time I talked to them, they told me that they no longer know where he's at. So while I'm at home taking care of two childern he's out sleeping around, riding his motorcycle, and having a good time. I don't think it's fair, and I'm doing all I can think of Just so I can get back on my feet, but it doesn't seem to be good enough. And to top it all off someone has been vandilising my car. Broke side merror, slashed my front tire, and dented my hood. I have no money, and can't get my kids into a daycare so I can go look for a job. I just dont know what to do, can any one help me?

To all who are nice enough to give advice, thank you. But to those of you who wish insalted and ridiculed me you should all know I was dating him for three years before we got engaged, and I hadn't even slept with him till we were engeged. He was good to me all that time but once I had the babies he had changed. Its not like I was out sleeping around. So to anyone and every one who wishes to leave a rude comment shove it! Because I dont need it. I don't want him to suffer or anything, but I do think he owes me. At least enough to help me get back on my feet. Enough so I can get my kids in to daycare so I can get a job. Then he can keep his money. So again thank you to all who are kind enough to give advice. But as for all of you who wish to insalt and ridicule me please don't bother responding. I don't do drugs, I dont drink, I take care of my childern the best way I can, and I do not need to be ridiculed by strangers. Thank you for your time.

Answer 1

Hun,
The only way that child support tracks those deadbeat dads is through their Social Security number. And if they work a job that pays cash, or "under the table", child support won't EVER find them. I have been going through the same thing with my 3 kids' "sperm-donor". He owes my kids over $18,000. And he always works jobs that either pay in cash, or he subcontracts work, which makes him an independent contractor who is responsible for paying his own taxes. He already owes the feds quite a bit of back taxes.

I have called & called the child support office. And believe me, they don't know any more than you do. As a matter of fact, YOU are probably their primary source of info on him. They don't stay on top of your case unless you keep calling and pestering the crap out of them.

If he is working for cash, or "subcontracting", turn him in to the feds if you can. I'm afraid you are fighting the very same fight as a lot of women in this world, and not winning. They need to do a complete overhaul on the crappy system they have going.

Until they do though, you need to dig up all the dirt you can find on this idiot (address, places he goes, people he works with, friends you have in common), find out EVERYTHING you can on him. Then call child support and tell them that you did their job for them and give it to them. Then, they have to move on it. Keep calling and calling and calling....become a thorn in their side. Sooner or later, you'll see some kind of results.

Until then, you gotta do whatever it takes to survive. Go down and apply for cash, food stamps, and medical assistance from the state. I know that here in Ohio, you can also apply for help paying for daycare so you can work or go to school....do that too. And like others have said here, WIC (Women Infants & Children) can help you with milk, peanut butter, cereal, cheese, juice, eggs, and baby cereal (if yours are still on it). You WILL MAKE IT!!! Even if it's just scraping by...you will. I know it sucks though. if you need to talk or more help, my email is [e-mail]...write to me and I'll help or listen. :) Toni

Answer 2

DHS services can help out. Like the DA services in the other answer but it's just another agency to try. Here in Oklahoma WIC is covered by the health departments. I know that our DHS system also covers child support enforcement. They are pretty big about it so they might be able to help. Also there are home day cares that are more likely to work with you if you tell them your situation than the big agencies. Mostly check on line with your government offices. If nothing else they can at least give you some ideas.

Answer 3

Depending on what state your in it can get tricky. But the Attorney Generals office should always help. It is a free service. If you are low-income...apply for any help that you can. Food stamps and child care can be free. Check online for any local agencies and charities. You'd be surprised by asking around. WIC can also help with milk for the kids. If anything it doens't hurt to ask, even if they say you don't qualify. Call first if you don't want to go in person. AG offices are usually online. And you can apply for child support with any information about the father that you can provide. They will find him. Good Luck.

Answer 4

HOw about a family member whom you trust that can watch your kids for you to go to work? I think if you apply for welfare they will pay for a day care for your kids until you can get on your fet this will give you time to look for a job and get some good checks rolling in so you can have moeny to pay for the day care. They also have a program where they will help you find a job as well, look into all the government assistance including food stamps at least until you get a good job you can drop all of this and have a good job to take care of your kids.

Answer 5

Stormy I sympathize for you since unlike some women, you at least seriously dated this man before having kids. But I still wonder why you decided to birth kids when 1) you weren't married yet and 2) you knew you couldn't afford them by yourself. Now he OWES you for bad decisions you made.

I suggest you move on. If you're up for this job, be proud of the kids you decided to birth. Don't let your kids see you spend your life in anger chasing after some man who doesn't share your dreams. Plenty of other fish in the sea. Better for you and better for the kids.

Answer 6

believe it or not my 2ND daughter basically went through the same thing with her last ex. you can have your local dhs to swear out a warrant for this arrest for non child support since you can't prove he has been vandalizing your car.are you on dhs support with food stamps/wic? then if you are the STATE will MAKE him pay to pay them back for the money you are drawing for the children. when you are able to try to hire an attorny to sue him for child support. TAKE HIM TO COURT get it court ordered he has to pay so much a month. if not then he will be picked up & sent to jail. the party will be over for him!

Answer 7

hi,yeah i know you have it tough 1baby is hard let alone2.i don't know what state you are in but,NY st. takes their licenses and also the support collection agency can take his taxes.there has to be an agency that can help you .call your local social service office they will be able to direct you.also if you know he is working turn him in.also take him to court [ family ] and stop all his rights.get full custody if you don't already have it.you can get a court appt.attorney they will be able to help you get support as well.good luck,unfortunately each state is different so i really hope something in this note can help you.

Answer 8

If he is a criminal type..you could probably use a website:
www.brbpub.com click on FREE public record link, you can go through all the states to find out where he might be..I hope this will help you some.. Also, use myspace.com to look for him..I know some people use that site to look for people...

Answer 9

eventually he will get whats coming to him. think of it this way, your kids are way better off without him as a role model. i know it's not much, but do you have WIC in your state? at least you could get some free food to help you out a little.

Answer 10

um..., no one's insulted you yet.
May the Lord bless and keep you and your children.
Keep the faith, keep trying.
Good luck to you!