i will appreciate the jokes....
2007-01-16 14:00:45 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
There are some truly funny people out there.
Heres one...
There was this blonde cooking dinner when the grease from the pan caught fire. The fire began to spread quickly.
So in a panic she called 911. The operator came on asking Fire, Police, or Ambulance?
She stated FIre..Please hurry my house is on fire.
Ok mam, we can help...Calm down and let me get some information. How do we get there?
DUH in the Big Red Truck!!!
2007-01-24 05:53:37 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
this is a greek joke. here in greece, when something goes wrong, we say arheethia, which is like s**t. the exact translation is actually testicles.
so, one day there are two bums walking down the street, and they see an old woman trying to cross the street, but she cant.
she sees the two bums and tells them that if they help her across the street, she will reward them. so they help her and she gives them each three eggs.she tells them every time they break an egg, they have a wish. so they take the eggs and each goes to their separate alleys. the first bum goes to his alley, breaks the firs egg, and wishes for his alley to be a big mansion. and it was. he breaks the second egg and wishes for the mansion to be filled with money. so it was. he breaks the last egg and wishes for his garage to be filled with the best cars and the best women. so it was. well, hes living fine and one day, he decides he wants to visit his old friend. so he goes, and he sees the same alley with the same bum in it. he asks him what happened and what he did with the 3 eggs. the other one says, "leave me alone, man. when i came into the alley, i dropped one and i said 'arheethia!' and the whole alley filled up with arheethia." the other guy says okay, but what did he do with the other two eggs. the bum tells him, "i broke the second egg to get rid of all the arheethia." the other guy says "well what did you do with the last one?"and the bum replies "i broke the last egg to get my own arheethia back"
2007-01-17 08:54:33 · answer #2 · answered by ferahgo777 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A city girl and a country boy were going to be married that day. Before the ceremony, the bride asked the groom if they could have a moment alone because she had something she wanted to talk to him about. After walking a short way, she turned to him and said, "Honey, I'm a virgin so please be gentle with me tonight." Shortly after returning to the gathering, there was a lot of noise and confusion because the groom's father was running around yelling "the weddin's off !! the weddin's off !!" The bride's father demanded to know what he was talking about. The groom's father said to him, " yer daughter just told my son that she's a virgin" to which the bride's father asked "and what's the problem with that?" and the groom's father answered " well, if she hain't good 'nuff fer YER family, then she hain't good 'nuff fer MINE!!"
2007-01-23 08:02:01 · answer #3 · answered by Jade 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It was the mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood.
When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family there, who congratulated him and sent him on his way with a big gift envelope.
At the second house they presented him with a box of fine cigars.
The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures.
At the fourth house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful woman in a revealing negligee.
She took him by the hand, gently led him through the door, and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced.
When he had had enough they went downstairs, where she fixed him a giant breakfast, eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh squeezed orange juice.
When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee.
As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge. "All this was just too wonderful for words," he said, "but what's the dollar for?"
"Well," she said, "last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day, and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you."
He said, "F*** him, give him a dollar."
The lady then said, "The breakfast was my idea."
2007-01-16 22:05:56 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
Sorry I dont have a joke, but I sure liked Newmomofone's joke, lol. good one :)
2007-01-20 22:21:34 · answer #5 · answered by Mrs. Victorious 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A husband was looking at his marriage certificate for a long time.
His wife came and interrupted "Honey, were you missing the moment that we spent together on our wedding day?".
Husband replied "No, I'm just wondering why there is no expiry date on it?"...
2007-01-23 07:25:22 · answer #6 · answered by VeNiE 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
3 tampons walking down the street. super, regular and super plus which one said hi first?
neither they're all stuck up bit@@@@
2007-01-16 22:49:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Have you heard of the problem that plagues men in winter?
DICKYDOO - it's when the clothes they have to wear stick out further than their dickey doo
2007-01-16 22:26:41 · answer #8 · answered by Daremo 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
did you ever blow bubbles as a kid???
well bubbles the clown is back in town for the circus and is lookin for a good time.
2007-01-17 22:30:08 · answer #9 · answered by beardedoctopus 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi
im michelle
call me at 555-3245
psyche!
2007-01-24 21:06:22 · answer #10 · answered by michelle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋