My fiance walked out on our 4 year relationship and within a month was dating. My heart is torn to peices still 6 months later. Now she has contacted me wanting to be friends. Point being she walked out on our life together should I let her back in?
2007-01-16 13:52:42 · 27 answers · asked by shane s 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Forgive- yes. Everyone makes mistakes, even big ones, and people have lapses in judgement, and contrary to popular belief, people DO change! All the time, in fact.
Friends? Hmmm, not so much. Why would you want to be "friends" with her? Sounds like she wants her cake and eat it too, OR she's trying to rid herself of some guilt.
If she were a sorry, changed woman, and you wanted to be so gracious, and take such a risk as to give her another CHANCE at being together in a RELATIONSHIP, I'd say sure, CONSIDER it if you truly think 1. you can let go of the past and 2. she seems matured and really serious about being together now. Obviously this would take a lot of work on both ends, but may be worth it if you love each other.
I don't know if the "friends" thing is a way for her to ease back in the relationship, but it sounds like a bad idea. Friends with exes doesn't usually work. FriendLY? Sure. Catch up every now and then? Okay. But be friends and kick it? Haha, no, that will not work, and won't make you happy so don't bother, and don't torture your poor heart with that. If the truth is she actually wants to get you back she needs to be UPFRONT and say that and date you, not be your "friend". Find out what her motives are, and then decide what's best for YOU!
Good luck.
2007-01-16 14:13:35 · answer #1 · answered by neverneverland 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Heck naw don't take her back. Think about this, if you take her back she will know that she have the best of you and she'll know that she can continue cheating and you'll always take her back, Who ever she was talking to didn't want her and now she realized that what she had was good is now gone.
Yes forgive her. People makes mistakes. Trust me I know. I have made plenty of them. I am 20 years old and I know that the mistakes I have made, the guy will probably never forgive me and if he did then I will be flattered. I also know that we would never be. He and I have hurt each other and it's nothing we can do about it. I have never had a boyfriend before or even been on a date. Mind you (20 years old)..,
The point is, you don't let them know that you are soft because then people will walk all over you. Stay strong. She has lost you. Yall can be cool. Don't have sex with her because she'll thinkg that you will want her again and you (DON'T) want that to happen.
2007-01-16 21:59:17 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she just wants to be friends and you want to be more I think you are setting yourself up for a lot of pain and frustration. It sounds like you still love her. I don't know, she sounds like bad news. She sounds like she doesn't know what she wants? If I were you, I would try to cut ties and move on, at least until you are over her and have someone else. But maybe she has realized she loves you after all? In that case, you should give it another go at a r/ship? It's hard to say without knowing more details.
2007-01-16 21:57:52 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I seriously think only you can figure this one out. If you become friends, chances are that she's going to ask you for 'guy' advice. Is this something that your broken heart can take? And, is she going to expect you to be nice to her new guy(s) if you run into each other. Personally, I've never been able to be friends with an ex. Started to, but just seemed to split our seperate ways and eventually lose contact.
2007-01-16 22:04:40 · answer #4 · answered by Cheyenne 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should always forgive people no matter what....holding a grudge is bad and against the Bible. I think that you should forgive her....maybe you should have a good heart to heart talk with her and find out exactly why she left in the first place.
2007-01-16 21:57:06 · answer #5 · answered by em<3 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it's not good to be friends with her,especially considering the circumstances.It will just bring back all the pain u experienced before.Let her go completely.You will be happier in the future.
2007-01-16 21:59:34 · answer #6 · answered by AJ78 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no way dude. there are some people that its ok being friends with. but others like in your case, it isnt right. if you already movede on,keep her out of your life. its for the best. you might start having feelings for her again and that could end in tears.
2007-01-16 21:58:48 · answer #7 · answered by ursNonlyUrs 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The christian in me sais yes. The other part of me sais HELL NO. Forgive her but that doesn't mean you should be friends with her. Tell her you've forgiven her but she tore you apart and you don't think you could be friends with someone that cold-hearted.
2007-01-16 21:57:09 · answer #8 · answered by Brad 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know your hurt but she is human and she didn't know what she was missing till she left you she was to contacted u becausr she doesnt just want to be your friend she wants you to forgive her and move on as you should. forgive her and move on with you life you never going to get though this stage if you dont. hope this helps
2007-01-16 22:01:10 · answer #9 · answered by mary ann 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. If it was you walking out on her, and she wants to be friends, thats a completely different story. If she really hurt you, than why would you want to be friends with her again? But, who knows, Sparks might start to fly again? Its your decision though.
2007-01-16 21:58:47 · answer #10 · answered by ♥MsCullen♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋