One of my oldest friends, I'll call her Sally ,keeps alot of her details about her dating life to herself. I have always respected that about her and neverminded, but another friend called me very upset about our friend's new guy.Sally told her that he smokes pot and she has told him how she doesn't like it. He is in his 30's she's in her late 20's. This is not a teenage fun thing he is doing, but a habit. She has kids and she knows that if he's around with that stuff, she could possibly lose her kids, especially if her ex-husband finds out. This guy lights up in her house after she's asked him not to. (I have no clue if the kids were in the house or not). She won't confide in me because she knows I'll stress for her to dump this guy, so she doesn't know I know. I have always thought she was responsible about things like this, but I think his good looks, charm, and sweet talking have her wanting him despite the habit.
2007-01-16 13:47:51 · 18 answers · asked by escapeinthepalms 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Pray for Sally. Also pray about your habit of gossiping about your friends (whomever the tale bearer was they were gossiping and you were a part of that) and pray against the judgmental spirit of superiority and the desire to butt-in Sally's business.
Sally is an adult. She is making adult choices for herself and her children. You have secondhand information at best. Like secondhand smoke it also stinks and can be dangerous for the health of your friendship. If you were less judgmental, perhaps Sally would confide in you directly.
So, yes, pray. You have much to pray about.
God bless you.
2007-01-16 13:56:20 · answer #1 · answered by amazingly intelligent 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if she hasn't told you herself, you are just responding to gossip. Try talking to her directly. Maybe she'll open up if she's worried. But I don't think it's a good idea to butt in when she's had a habit of keeping her dating life to herself, indicating that she prefers her privacy. Being that open requires some trust, which might be an issue for her, and butting in where you aren't wanted will just turn her away from you and from the friend to whom she told a secret in confidence. That's sad, when she's doing something that will get her kids taken away, because you can't stop her from doing what she pleases. You can help her pick up the pieces and learn from it afterward.
Frankly, you should heap shame on the other friend for being a gossip, and pray about the gossip habit you both seem to have in addition to praying for Sally.
2007-01-16 21:58:36 · answer #2 · answered by John D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say definitely pray for her, but I also think you should tell her bluntly that if she loves her kids and doesn't want to lose them, then she had better get rid of this guy. If he was just an occasional smoker, it would be one thing, but if he is addicted then he will bring down whoever he has to in order to keep his habit going. And, heaven forbid, if the kids should be present there's no telling what might happen to them. Maybe you could try taking her out with a group of other friends (guys & girls mixed) and just casually introduce her to some decent guys. Hopefully she will open her eyes before it is too late and see this guy for the jerk that he really is. But she is lucky to have a friend like you who cares. Even if she gets mad at you for trying, stay by her side and someday she will come to her senses and will realize that you are right.
2007-01-16 21:59:26 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are a true friend and you love her like you say then tell her how you found out and give her your opinion and tell her if she truly love her kids then she will do what is best for them and don't let his good look person fool her cause man come and goes but children are for life and can be hurt for a life time so if he can't respect her wishes then she need to dump him real quick PS: good luck unless she want her kids smoking with him
2007-01-16 22:00:16 · answer #4 · answered by poda 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sex strikes again!
You mean to tell me that she is so sprung that she won't even kick the bum out of her OWN HOUSE while he's getting high? She has ASKED him not to. She should TELL him not to. This is a receipe for disaster. She doesn't realize she is choosing the BUM over her kids, letting him do what ever he wants in her house.
You need to butt in TONIGHT before the cops do. Damn, you mean good looks charm and sweet talking (and sex) will make you compromise your kids! Incredible.
2007-01-16 22:00:19 · answer #5 · answered by Victor H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say at the moment all you have is some third party's word of mouth. Get the facts before you do anything. Drop by your friend's house and see if you can observe any signs of drug abuse going on, especially with the kids present. If you do, call Child Protection.
2007-01-16 21:52:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's good that you are concerned. I would suggest that prayer is always a good response. I would not look at it a butt-in when you may consider what may happen to your friend if there is a fallout -she will probably butt-in on you for support! At times, we choose interesting and close battles that are not ours to "fight". If you have reasoned that this is not your "battle" -- you should yet consider encouraging someone who has your friends "ear" to step in and lovingly, but firmly address this situation.
2007-01-16 22:03:34 · answer #7 · answered by SkeetFighter 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it's not your business and you should stay out of it.
Besides if all he's doing is smoking pot he's not going to do that much damage, except be a spunge for snack food. I don't get why that's such a big deal.
2007-01-16 21:53:23 · answer #8 · answered by little miss green 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe u should go visit her and tell her not to be smoking that stuff around the kids.
And let her live her own life and learn from her own mistakes, its a part of growing older.
2007-01-16 21:52:39 · answer #9 · answered by sunflare63 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
U might want to stay out of it. People have to learn from their own mistakes. It's her life and although you care and are a friend, she's not going to listen to you if she doesn't want to. She has to learn on her own and I have a feeling she will.
2007-01-16 21:53:46 · answer #10 · answered by candiec2005 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋