my daughter died her hair platinum blond, what should be her punishment?

Question

she has really beautiful brown hair, and shes asked before and i told her no, but she dyed her hair while she was at a friends house

Answer 1

It's her hair why fret over something like that. She may just want to express herself. Just let her know that you are upset that she went against your wishes and that you hope that she will not do this again. I have learned that when it comes to things like personal style and hair color and styling just let them try what they like. They are the ones that have to live with the outcome whether its good or bad. Atleast she is experimenting with her hair and not drugs. Give her some freedom to express herself. It will work its self out.

Answer 2

I'm only 21 but when I was 13-18 I wanted blond hair more than anything. My mom wouldn't let me even cut my hair (other than trims, of course) when I was younger. But, when I got my first job, 16ish, and had my own money I went and got it highlighted blonde. I didn't tell my mom b/c I didn't want her to tell me I couldn't do it. That didn't last long b/c I ended up hating it. I looked like everyone else! It's just a phase and she'll grow out of it.. eventually. Besides as far as rebellion goes dying your hair isn't very high on the list. You should definitely punish her but make sure you understand that things could be a lot worse! As far as punishment goes, maybe you should keep her from redying it (even back to brown) for a while so that it'll look funny in a few months w/ the 2 colors. That's kinda mean though! so maybe you could explain to her more why you didn't want her to do it (if crying is involved, that's a good thing) and give an average punishment like no more going over to that friend's house or something.

Answer 3

Ahh she's just growing up and trying to find her feet. It's not that big a deal. I'd sit her down and tell her exactly why you didn't want her to do it, ask her why she did it anyway and why you don't like it. Let her respond and take into consideration what she says. She's trying to be her own person so treat her as an adult in the first few conflicts you come across and she'll respect you more for it down the track. Also it'll give her some self confidence to know that she's not going to be treated like a little kid. That way she knows that if she's ever in trouble with something really serious she can come to you and you're not going to freak out over it.

In the end it's just hair. She may get sick of it. She may not. She shouldn't have done it behind your back, but sometimes that's the only way of taking those first few steps of gaining a little independence. At least she’s not going out hooking up with strange old men, getting pregnant, ODing on meth, stealing cars, being brought home by the cops every night, getting into fights and breaking people’s noses, committing fraud or dancing topless whilst drunk and high outside your mother’s house.

And if you give her the chance to have a good conversation and she throws it in your face perhaps then some discipline is in order, like a lack of privileges or more responsibilities/chores.

Answer 4

How old is she? Most kids experiement. You should feel lucky that she chose blonde. It could have been purple!

so really the hair dying is really no big thing. She has to live with it... and the brown roots. That's punishment enough for doing it.

It IS a problem that she sneaked to do it - and you do need to address that. But don't over do the punishment. Just ground her from going to a friends house for set number of days/months/years (lol) for sneaking around - but she can still have friends over, etc.

You don't want her rebelling too much.

Answer 5

I have 3 wonderful teen aged daughters. I never battle with them on small things like hair only big things like obedience. Your daughter violated your trust when you told her not dye her hair. I am assuming that you have a very good reason for telling her no other than just you didn't want her to. It is her hair and she should be allowed to do with it as she wants within reason. It isn't like she colored it hot pink or bright orange. Pick your battles. I do feel she should be punished but not for the hair color but for going behind your back. She shouldn't be allowed to go to the friend's house for a given amount of time and she should be required to do household chores while she is at home. Just make her understand that it is the breach of trust that she is being punished for not the hair color.

Answer 6

She should definitely be punished, but I'm not sure how. Making her put it back to a decent shade may be enough to get her attention. Take her to a beauty shop and get some suggestions on what to do to 'fix' her hair back to some normal shade. Make her earn the money for the 'fix' by doing chores around the house. Make sure these are really horrible chores that no one really wants to do and do not let her visit her friends houses without first talking to their parents to inform them of how she conducted herself last time she was away from you. She'll be really embarrassed. Hopefully, putting the hair back to normal, forcing her to earn the money by making her do terrible chores, and then embarrassing her with her friendds parents might do the trick.

Answer 7

There should be a consequence, if your word is to have any weight...
You could take her to a hairdresser and have it changed back, and make her work around the house to pay off the hair-dresser bill.

If her friend is the bad influence, I would also limit the amount of time she spends with that friend...and TELL her that if she's going to make poor choices when spending time in the company of that person, then they must be a bad influence on her!
Maybe she'll admit that it was her own idea, and she will take responsibility for it.

Answer 8

It's hair...it will grow back.
It's a phase she will grow out of.
Voice your dissappointment strongly and tell her that it was disrespectful of her to go and do what you told her not to do. It's a good time to sit down and talk to her about your wishes and her wishes and try to come to some sort of compromise. Getting angry with her will really just push her away and hurt her and probably want to make her go out and do other things that you don't like...but sitting down with her and trying to talk about these phases with a good compromise on both ends is the best thing to do and a good start to some open communication. Good luck and remember the old saying "This to shall pass."

Answer 9

Hea she has to look in the mirror every day and know she disobeyed you. She will come around sooner if you dont make a real big deal of it. Just so you know I do belive for every action there is a reaction and yours will count in her book. Good Luck Ive raised 49 teenaged daughter and fosterdaughters and its great but very trying at times.

Answer 10

choose your battles - of all the things a child could do to express rebellion, this is not so bad. tell her your reasons for saying no and that in the future you expect to have a conversation about something if she disagrees with you, you need to establish/maintain trust and let her know she can talk to you and express herself. maybe she even would have talked you into it, let her have some freedom like bleaching her hair and you'll be able to win the battle of miniskirts or drugs... for now, just some minor punishment like a good lecture (see previous) and a day of grounding since she did disobey you.