Private wedding/public reception?

Question

My wedding and reception will be held in a very small town. It's common practice to hold an "invitation only" wedding and then a public reception/dance, which is advertised in the local paper. I'm trying to figure out how to plan for this, since the majority of those showing up at the dance won't be by invitation. Usually, ALOT of people show up. Are they still considered my "guests"? I would like to provide beer and champange (as well as non-alcoholic beverages) for my invited guests, but I can't afford to splurge for the entire county.
As for the food, I will be holding a buffet supper, (BBQ beef, potato salad, baked beans, etc. hey, it's a country theme.) Anyway, should I make it an invitation only meal, then put away the food before the dance begins, or try to make enough for everyone and when it runs out...it runs out?
We've been engaged and living together for six years so it's a, "It's about time" party so I want everyone in the county to have a blast! Any suggestions?!?!

Answer 1

at the end of the meal and when the dance starts, put away all the food expect for the sweet treats, people wont be expecting to eat at the dance perhaps just pick up a goodie or two but nothing big, they would of already ate dinner by then. If there is a lot of food left over than leave it all out, its better to go than to have to waste it all later. For the drinks, there should be a bar that others will be making money off of that has nothing to do with you, you can have a few bottles of champange for each table or whatever you would like as well as some no alcohol drinks, but when it runs out than others will have to go to the bar for a drink and pay the money or just stop drinking.

Answer 2

I think you should hold the family and friends dinner earlier and make the other guests come after for a dessert reception. You can have a HUGE variety of treats for not so much money. Even though you come from a small town doesnt mean you shoudl provide for the whole town. Sometimes that is feasible- other times not.

So go ahead and do the formal invite in the news paper, but announce it for about 1/2 hr- 45 minutes after your family meal is done, and you have time to set up the treats.

I also really liked Babs idea of the whole potluck thing- that is really sweet!

Answer 3

I had a very similar situation. We were married "on location" and had a public reception at my new in-laws home. There was the same custom of inviting the whole town, an ad was placed in the paper inviting everyone who wanted to attend and since my husband was in the military and stationed far away from his small town, so many attended. The ad specified that it was pot luck so all guest (or group of guests) brought a dish to share. Beverages, desert and entertainment were provided by the family.
I think this was a great idea. No one complained about bringing a dish and there was plenty of food for everyone and a very wide variety of dishes to choose from.

Answer 4

I am doing the same thing however I have decided to go potluck style- that way if there is 20 people there is enough food and if there is 80 there is enough still. It's one less thing to deal with. I too live in a small place- an island with 900 people. I am having a bar with drinks being charged pretty much at cost and I am buying a whack of champagne to toast with everyone at the reception. If you have been together that long and in a small place then no one will expect you to put your life savings into a reception :-)

Answer 5

As far as the alcohol, you could advertise it as "cash bar" then give your invited guests drink tickets, or other form of ID for free drinks. I'd provide free sodas to all as a courtesy.

As far as the buffet, I think either option would be acceptable. You could have your dinner only for invited guests, then open it up (say dinner from 5-6:30 on your wedding invitation, then advertise to the public your party as dancing and hor d'oevers from 7:00 on). That just depends on your, your budget, and other factors.

Enjoy your party! Sounds like a neat place to live.

Answer 6

I would suggest having a nice sit down dinner privately with invitated guests, and have an "after party" reception at a different location that is close by. There, you would have dancing and drinks, and perhaps some snack foods - chips, buns, cheese, pickles, etc.

Answer 7

First of all, this is YOUR wedding, so YOU make the rules. I know what you're going through, I had the same problem. For my reception, we had champagne only for the wedding party itself...me, wife, groomsmen and bridesmaids...basically one bottle of chilled champagne for the toasts and pictures. The reception was also BYOB, bring your own beer (or alcohol of your choice). It offended a couple of people but we didn't care. I sent out 90 invitations to our wedding, and had over 400 show up. If you want to make it an invitation only meal....then that is up to you. If they don't like it...then they can leave....it is YOUR wedding. I hope everything flows smoothly for your wedding as it did for mine. Best of luck to you.

Answer 8

You could do a private wedding with your dinner for your invited guests, and do a cash bar for the dance for the county.

Answer 9

I attended a marriage ceremony like this. The couple desired a smaller rite with simply loved ones, however nonetheless desired a colossal occasion with their peers to have a good time. So we had been all ready on the reception venue once they arrived and it used to be first-rate. None of the visitors looked as if it would brain this.

Answer 10

Have an invitation only ceremony and meal, but a public dance.