Age a parent has to "let go" of their child?

Question

Parents - If your kid is 20 years old do you have the right to ask who they are going out with, when they'll be back, where they are going etc etc.

Do you think that your responsibility is now gone because your child is grown, or you still have to protect them?

Answer 1

I'm not a parent, but from my view I think that since the 20 year old is an adult you should allow them freedom and not ask them questions about when they will be back and stuff if you can trust them to take care of themselves.
Questions about who they are dating are OK if they've told you about a new boyfriend or girlfriend they have and you would like to know a little bit about them-or possibly meet them.
Where they are going is a good question to ask if you do not know for sure. You have the right to know if they'll be at a friend's house, the mall, the lake, etc.

Although they are 20, you can still protect them yes-but only from making bad decisions.But you can't really protect them from what you don't want them to face. Now is the time to step aside and let them live their life based on the values that they have been taught so far in their life. You can guide them by giving them advice-that is really all you can do.
Of course, this is all my view-not forcing it on others who disagree with me.

All the best!!

Answer 2

I think you have the right to ask within limitations. Don't pry. When I was 20, my parents would ask me to be home at a reasonable hour,( usually before 2am) and if I was planning on staying at a friends house, that I let them know. I had a cell phone, so they had the ability to contact me if need be.

Mostly, they just ask for me to be careful. No drinking and driving, stuff like that. I respected that, b/c I knew that it was disrespectful to stay out all night and make my parents worry.

I think it depends on the maturity level of the 20 year old. Some 20 year olds are mature enough to realize that there parents aren't trying to ruin their fun, but rather are just worrying about their child's safety. Kids like that are usually a little more trustworthy and careful.

Answer 3

The responsibility to care never goes away. I'm 32 and not a parent. I love it when my Mom tells me what I already know. Just be an example to your kid and always, always, always available to talk to and spend time with.

Just call them to ask them how they're doing and how their day was. Keep the connection open. You be the judge of how often. If it were a girl, I'd call her once a week to every other week. Maybe for a boy, i'd call him every other week to once a month. Just call them to tell them you love them.

If it were my kid and they were 20, I would wish them a safe evening, don't get in the car with someone who's drunk, drive safe, have fun, call if you need anything. Next day, did you have fun? Let them share details if they want to. If they don't want to, then they won't. All you care is that they go out and come back in one piece :) It really is time to see how you did and how they'll do...it's time for them to remember what they learned from you and if they remember that you are there for them...

Answer 4

As long as I lived at home, my parents asked those questions of me. I got an apartment at 22 when I graduated college, but also lived at school during the semester from when I was 18. They never asked me anything when I was at school, only when I was at home. I guess they had the philosophy "out of sight, out of mind."

Answer 5

If they are under 21, you have the right. After 21, you should let them decide who their friends are. If you can't leave them alone, then let them move out. Allow your kid to grow up and learn to let go.

Answer 6

i think its a matter of having faith in yourself if you have raised them to the best of your ability them its time to let go they know how to make the Right decisions just wait and see