CHeating? is he? i need to know?

Question

My boyfriend of 2 years now has been online chatting with different women. He admitted to some that he had a girlfriend but didnt say it was serious yet he tells me he wants to marry me someday. Ive seen him on myspace leave them messages about how beautiful they are and i know he emails and chat with them regularly. Am i just being jealous and paranoid or should i be concerned about his actins ...help im so depressed

by the way we met each othe ronline this is why it bothers me so much

We are also in a long distance relationship and only get to see each other on a monthly basis

what should i do?

Answer 1

You are not being paranoid, but cautious. My husband says he may not be cheating now but he's on the verge. He sounds like a cheater to me. He also said though that he may be a flirtatious person. He suggests to give it time, it could be something innocent, keep monitoring him and if it gets too serious confront him, without anger and with the evidence. I wouldn't put up with it too long. If there are too many red flags don't ignore them. If it hurts your feelings confront him and tell him how you feel when he does that and have a conversation, not a yelling match. If you confront him with anger he'll only turn defensive. If you TALK to him in a normal tone, he will be more willing to hear you. If he truly cares about how you feel he should stop. You should be #1, not #2 nor #3 nor #4...

Answer 2

I am so sorry. I know how bad it sucks to think you are being cheated on in ANY way. My friend's husband was doing the same thing. He would say he was married most of the time, but continued to flirt. She kept catching him switching his my space profile from married to single and he said it was an "accident." Also, he was emailing several girls from his hometown and even told a girl he was married,"technically." She eventually just had to say it's me or the computer. He chose her. Eventually he started getting back on, but never opened another my space account or anything. I guess he was eliminating the temptations. Your boyfriend has no business telling girls they are beautiful. Period. He is disrespecting you by doing this. It doesn't sound like he is physically cheating, but he is dabbling into things that could lead him there. Don't sit by and let him do it. If this gets to be a main source of arguments, he is going to have to rearrange his priorities or you can kick him out the door. Better to teach him what you will and won't put up with sooner rather than later. Otherwise he will continue to test his boundaries. I really wish you luck...You seem like a very intelligent and perceptive person.

Answer 3

I think that he is because, if he was not then why would he be calling these other girls beautiful. The only person that he should be calling beautiful is you and complementing you about your looks not no other girl. However, you should talk to him about it and tell him that you think what he is doing is disrespectful to you and that you don't like it at all or if he does not do that then just talk to other people online and complement on other guys looks and see how he feels about it or you can leave him and find somebody else that would love and show you respect. Just remember there are a lot of fish in the water and also sweetie you are more beautiful then those girls that he is chatting with anyway.

Answer 4

Been there done that and we arent together n e more...we were together for a year and a half. After being together for about 3 months myspace became his bestfriend. He was talkin to ex girlfriends and tellin girls that he tryna get to know them and they beautiful, the whole nine. He did cheat once, but it wasnt someone from myspace...he probably isnt cheating on you, but you still need to keep an eye out, cuz it will definetly hurt you. If he not tellin them that he has a girl then there is a problem. The e-mails you need to look for too...cuz my ***** was definetly talkin to an ex through that tryna get with her...but when I ask he say he aint mean all that, but I dont think it has anything to do with being jealous because thats your man...you know?...Dont get depressed over it though...you arent paranoid either...your just reacting to something that is affecting you...you need to talk to him about it.

Answer 5

I'd say he is.. Or would if he could.. He's definately throwing himself out there though. Any guy who does that might not be exactly trying to, but most likely will take the offer if there is one...

The key is the cell phone.. Does he answer all the time? Does he call back within a short time if he doesn't.. That's the easiest way to tell. If there's no reason for him not to answer or at least call back within a reasonable time. Something is going on...

Answer 6

Well myspace it’s a dangerous thing. They are always sending messages to pretty girls but in my opinion if he only sends emails and stuff there is no need to worry not if he is talking to them over the phone or seeing them, then you need to be concern. Just be "on the watch". Now if he sends those kinds of emails what makes you think he doesn’t do it to girls at work or something???? Be careful

Answer 7

Your just being jealous and paranoid. Look at it like this he is home with you and loving you. Those girl he is talking to online is just a screen name and know nothing about him personally and he does not go to their home nor be with them 24/7 like he does with you. Just know that once he get off the computer he is not going home with the screen name girl but his is going home with you he is all yours. Be proud of what you have girl don't run him off with the jealoust or paranoid doubts. Now if he is somewhere and you have solid proof that he is cheating then you do what you gotta do until then love him as your man he is with you and not them. Talking to others is not cheating now being intimate hanging out with them physically in anyway that is cheating. HE is just communicating and meeting others online that is it so don't worry about it until his whole attitude towards you start to change.

Answer 8

This might sound bad but check up on him like on myspace or whatever and if he asks them somthin that u think he should not b askin them u should let him know that u know and try 2 figure out what u should do!!!!!! hope 4 the best!!!!

Answer 9

If he is seriously in love with YOU then he wouldn't be doing this. I would not marry him unless he addresses this concern. And YES you have need to be concerned. Oh you sound like a beautiful young lady. So if you do dump him there is NO doubt in my mind that you'll be able to replace him in a heart beat.

Answer 10

Doesn't sound to me like he is ready to be in a committed relationship with only you. If he was, he wouldn't be acting like that. Talk to him about it. If he keeps it up, then if you are wanting a committed relationship, move on and find a man who can be what you are looking for. Trust me, don't "waste your time" thinking that some man will "come around". It doesn't work. Live your life with or without him. :-)