should i break up with him, or just stay with him?? i'm confused... i am a busy college student. we have been together for 5 yrs. probably marry each other ... never been with no one else. but the passion kinda isnt as strong as before. is that normal??
2007-01-16 11:49:27 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Yeah, it's normal. Especially if you are busy and/or stressed out. You just have to take the time to make each other feel important and special. If things are boring, you've got to switch it up and make it new and exciting. Don't get stuck in a routine. If you don't want to make that much of an effort with him, then you should break up with him. Sometimes we get stuck in long term relationships because they're easier and convenient. If you look long and hard at him and you don't think you love him enough to work on making your relationship great, then you should break up. It won't last if you don't work at it. And then you'll be stuck in a marriage having to go through a divorce. If you think it's going to end, it would be best to end it now. But if you love him, then you should talk to him and discuss why it isn't working and how to make it better.
2007-01-16 11:56:35 · answer #1 · answered by benjis.girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes....that is normal....5 years!....It is like being married already....and all marriages don't typically hang on to that initial on fire passion....it generally evolves into a deeper more study love....passion is a choice....something you have to pursue....it doesn't just hang around by itself....You can move on to someone else...but in about 5 years...you probably will be where you are today....You might try having an honest talk with him....and see if he still feels you both are going in the right direction with eachother....You know....being in college can be very difficult for the strongest relatonships....You have other things that are pulling on you....I hope you don't throw a good thing away....and then regret it down the road. Maybe it is the right person, just the wrong time....When you can't fully be "in" the relationship, things can fizzle....Even the best of marriages struggle...like when kids come in the picture....and the man can no longer have the wife's full attention....that is when the relationship has to stick in there and work through the difficult time. Good Luck.
2007-01-16 19:51:36 · answer #2 · answered by ticklemeblue 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think its normal for the passion to go away like that. Just be honest about it. Take a break apart from each other for awhile. Take the time to figure out what you really want. If its him then great, if its not him, you'd never know unless you had some time apart.
Also staying with him just because will create doubt and problems for you down the road.
2007-01-16 19:54:31 · answer #3 · answered by mtatic55 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say it is normal. Usually if a relationship lasts this long, A, it is definitely worth it, at least so far, and B, you are bound to lose some passion. Now you definitely have a choice. Just think of what you want from the relationship and what you already have. If he can't give you what you want then you should think about talkng to him and explaining your wants and/or needs. I think breaking up is too drastic at this point. You should have a talk with him first to see what he says.
2007-01-16 19:54:38 · answer #4 · answered by Vlad M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you expect the passion to stay the same, you're living in a fantasy world. "Love" and "in love" are two distinct things, and a marriage requires that you have enough love to keep going when the "in love" feelings fade. Dating for 5 years creates the same dynamic as a marriage. So it's time to decide if you love each other enough to stay together, even though you are starting to experience life together.
2007-01-16 19:55:37 · answer #5 · answered by John D 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Totally normal. Now is the time that you need to start working on your relationship to make it stronger. Without the feelings of lust in the way, you can connect with him on a more intense level. Start going out on formal dates again, learn new things about each other, try new things together. College takes it's toll on you but try not to let it wear you down too much.
2007-01-16 19:53:58 · answer #6 · answered by sticky 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You said it yourself...you're a busy student. You two can't spend enough time together to build a relationship. Besides... if he's the only guy you've ever known, would you question yourself later on, wondering if there was someone who was better for you out there?? It's a tough call, and YOU really have to make that decision based on your feelings.
2007-01-16 20:01:32 · answer #7 · answered by dathinman8 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you think most people who have been together 5 years feel as much passion as they did when they first got together? It's normal. If you can't see yourself ever waking up next to another guy, and can't see yourself walking down the aisle with another guy, or ever being happy with another guy, you should stay with him.
2007-01-16 19:52:24 · answer #8 · answered by * 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's normal for the passion to fade a bit, but at your age, you probably owe it to yourself to take a break from the relationship to be able to think clearly. Once you're married, it won't be so easy to take a break.
2007-01-16 19:52:07 · answer #9 · answered by ♪ ♥ ♪ ♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One of the best benefits of a long term relationship is that you can fall in and out of love over and over again without ever having to go on another first date.
It's perfectly natural for the passion in a relationship to ebb and flow like the tide. With different things going on in your lives, you are going to respond to your boyfriend differently at different times. Expect that. Accept that.
As long as you are reasonably happy with him - he doesn't beat you, insult you, rely on you too much financially, etc - just go with the flow.
2007-01-16 19:56:08 · answer #10 · answered by Meg M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋