is it WRONG for the GIRL not to be EXCITED about the WEDDING.?

Question

OK GET THIS I LOVE MY MAN AND I WANT TO BE HIS WIFE BUT I AHVE NEVER BEEN THE TYPE OF PERSON THAT LIKES BIG FANCE THINGS. BUT MY MOM HAS NEVER HAD THE CHANCE TO GIVE HER KIDS PROPER WEDDINGS. MY SISTER WAS MARRIED BY JUSTICE OF THE PEACE( DAD MADE THEM SHE WAS PREGO) MY BROTHER GOT MARRIED AND DIDNT TELL MY MOM TILL LIKE 3 MONTHS LATER.

SO MY MOM ALWAYS TOLD ME I WAS HER LAST CHANCE TO ACTUALY SEE ONE OF HER KIDS GET MARRIED THE TRADITIONAL WAY. SO AS I AM I TOLD HER YEAH WE WILL HAVE A BIG WEDDING SO I CAN FORFILL HER DREAM.

BUT I AM NOT AT ALL THAT EXCITED ABOUT IT. I MEAN I AM EXCITED ABOUT MARRYING THE MAN OF MY DREANS BUT I FEEL LIKE I SHOULD BE MORE EXCITED AND THAT IF I DONT IM GOING TO LET MY MOM DOWN AND MY FIANCE WILL THINK I DONT LOVE HIM OR WANT TO GET MARRIED.

SO CAN ANYONE HELP ME OUT. I AM TOTALY CLUELESS ON HOW I SHOULD FEEL ABOUT THIS....

I WANTED TO SAY THANK YOU TO ALL THE PEOPLE THAT HAVE ANSWERED MY QUESTIONS YOU ALL MADE ME FEEL A LOT BETTER. I AM FEELING THAT SHE CAN MAKE IT AS BIG AS SHE WANTS OR EVEN AS SMALL AS SHE WANTS AS LONG AS I GET TO SAY I DO I DO I DO I DO TO MY MAN THEN I WILL BE HAPPY.

Answer 1

I'm in the same boat! I love my man so much and just can't wait to be his wife, but i'm not a fan of big fancy parities. I'm in the process of planning a traditional wedding but sometimes i feel like it's totally rediculous to go all out and spend so much money for one day. I just want to be married, i don't really care how it's done. I'm more excited about my marriage than my wedding. And i think thats a good thing because that shows that you know whats really important - your love and devotion to a lifetime with your spouse, not some fancy party that will only last a day.

Answer 2

Oh, that's just cold! Your step "dad" has some nerve. No wonder you're not excited, I wouldn't be either. But, don't let it get to you. I mean - enjoy the relationship! If you want to marry this man, then there's gotta be *something* to enjoy. The companionship and the rewards of marriage go so far beyond the wedding ceremony. Perhaps you could "scale down" the wedding, if you're getting too stressed out. Focus on your partnership, and not as much on the wedding itself. My own experience with getting married was, I'm glad it's done and over so we can get on with our lives. We've known each other for just over a year before getting officiallly engaged, and after that we were - boom - married within 4 months. I couldn't stand a drawn-out engagement; the wedding was small and informal - but a TON of fun. I can't sat we were "excited" about it, we just wanted to do something fun and memorable - but the wedding itself was not the point, the point was in getting married. We'd lived together for over a year by the time we got married, but we found that marriage kind of took our relationship to the new level - like, we were suddenly realizing that this is "for real" or something; it was very enriching. The whole experience has been very positive for us, and the "wedding" played only a very minor part in the bigger picture. Congrats, and I hope things work out.

Answer 3

I'm getting married in less than 2 months. You know what? I can do without the big party. I can do without all the attention focused on me. It was never my dream to have all eyes on me and have it be all about me with tons of fabulous people who are feeling fabulous about themselves and fabulously thrilled about being able to tell their fabulous friends and family about this fabulous wedding they'd attended.

That's just me. If i were you, i'd enjoy it and use it to practice having attention be lavished upon you. Then live the rest of your life peacefully and quietly and let your Mom know that you appreciate her input and you've decided to...what you want...

If she insists on a big wedding, I hope she's paying for it.

If you are the kind of person who lives as if every day were her birthday, not just once a year and if you can be happy just because rather than needing a big pick me up reason to be happy and excited, you're probably ok.

Ultimately, it's your life. And the quality of your relationship is between your fiance and you.

For me, our wedding day will sort of be another day because every day is special in my eyes...but i'm the type of person who doesn't go for the "fluff"...living within our budget makes me much happier than eating out, flowers, etc...

I hope this helps. I'm sure you'll be fine...if you do go your Mom's way, do let it be the last or only...i'm sure she loves you to death and i can see how she wants to experience this...and she just didn't get kids who wanted to experience this...

Answer 4

If you go along with your Mothers plans you will regret not having your wedding the rest of your life. You need to sit down with Mom, Dad, Hubby to be and anyone else in the planning. Tell them exactly what you just told us. If your Mother loves you she will be happy to see you get married the way you and your fiance want to. After all, at least she'll be there. This is one day out of your life you get to make the choices and make it everything you want it to be. Let Mom know that you are more than willing to let her help but not take over. Let your fiance know that you love him to death and would marry him any where in any way but a nice ceramony and reception would be fine for you. Get his input, after all he is getting married also. Make your wedding the way you two want it.

Answer 5

I'm sure everything will be fine. I was one who got married by the justice of the peace and didn't tell my mom for about 4 months and I really regret it looking back. I don't even like weddings anymore because I feel a big sense of jealousy when I go to one. We have thought about renewing our vows and having a wedding (not big), but then I start getting jittery thinking about that because I don't like things where the focus is all on me, that just scares me. But if you don't want that big of a wedding you would still be giving your mom what she wants by having a small wedding. It's your day and you have the right to invite or not invite whoever you want to. Good Luck!

Answer 6

If I were you, like you said you wanted to fulfill your mom's dreams. For one, you need to be the one to plan your wedding, that's the exciting part, seeing it all come together. For two, since you don't want the big fancy wedding, have a smaller one, with all the fixings. You can have the best of both worlds.

I think your mom would just like to see one of her kids marry for the right reasons and doing it so that they will be able to share in your joyous occasion.

Answer 7

Your wedding is YOUR day. But I think you and your mom would be able to find some common ground. I want a very elegant wedding, so on the flip side I am keeping it very very small in order to have all the things I want. I'm sure if you talk to her and tell her how you feel the two of you can find some common ground.

Good Luck to you.

Answer 8

I don't think you're not excited about getting married-- I think that the way you feel you HAVE TO get married is dampening your enthusiasm.

Your wedding is you and your fiance's special day.

If you want a small wedding, or even an elopement, please do what you feel in your heart. If not, you will regret it later.

Your mother will be disappointed, but hopefully she will understand it is ultimately your decision. Have you considered having her host a fancy reception following your private ceremony?

Don't let anyone influence what is one of the most important days of your life.

Best of luck to you, and congratulations on finding the man of your dreams! :)

Answer 9

Most women do, but there are always exceptions. It's not a big deal, as long as you are excited about the marriage part:) It's really sweet of you to do a wedding for you mom like that!

Answer 10

It is your wedding, but maybe there's a few things you can compromise on, like where you're getting married and the cake or something. You should be happy and be able to do it the way you want it, and I think your mom will understand that and be glad that you're at least trying to compromise with her. who knows? Maybe you'll really like some of her ideas.