My son refuses to be on a schedule I know its my fault but i never know when a good time to feed and put down?

Question

for a nap and even wake in the morning. Im a stay at home mom so its easy to make a schedule, but no easy to make him stay on one.he wakes around noon and goes to sleep around 11pm to 3 am. im tired and i need help. what is the best approach? He is 13 months old!!!

Another problem is that he doesnt sleep in a crib. He sleeps with me and my husband in our bed with a baby gate on my side where he sleeps. so nap time ishard to get him to calm down to nap on the floor with his blanket!

Answer 1

oh wow. I feel for you.

If your son is like mine, he will become overtired and will wake more at night if not put down at the first signs of tiredness.

I would say slowly, change the hours that you put your son down from 11 pm to 10 pm, to 9 pm and so on until you get to an hour that works for you and your family. This will help him adjust to more of a schedule. You can also try to wake him up a little before the time he normally wakes to help him adjust to his new schedule.

This is what I do. My son usually wakes around 7 am. I change him, feed him breakfast and then we play for awhile.

If your son seems OK, you may be able to do just one long nap. If he is not tired (rubbing eyes, or whatever signs he gives you), do an early lunch around 11 or 11:30 am and then read a few books, give a few snuggles and put him down. If he is wiped out around 9 or 10 am put him down and then again around 1 or 2 pm. You may need to give one to two snacks during the day (depending on what you do about the naps).

At night feed him a good dinner. We have dinner no later than 6:30. We then let my son play for about 15-20 minutes and then we do bath, final nursing and then we read 2-3 small books. He is put in his crib around 7:30 pm and falls asleep usually between 8-8:30 pm. Most nights, he will sleep all night.

If your son is teething, he may wake more. My son is teething again, so we have been giving him tylenol at night to help him rest.

Good Luck to you and your son! I hope you are able to get him on a routine that works for you and him!

EDITED: Try laying down with him at nap times and at his bed time in your bed. When he is asleep (make sure by lifting an arm and if it falls without him waking he should be OK to move), transfer him to something where he will not fall (pallet on the floor, pack n play, etc... during the day and at night. If you want to co-sleep at night, put him back in bed with you whenever you and your husband are ready to go to bed. You many want to nap with him for a few days to catch up on sleep.

Answer 2

I think the best thing you could do is decide what time you want him getting up, figure out how many hours sleep he needs at night (at least 12, then slowly adjust his bedtime by about 15 minutes a night until he's going to bed at a time that will usually result in him getting up at the time you want. If he ends up going to bed quite a bit earlier than you do, you can always 'dream feed' him just before you go to bed.

We also cosleep and stay up late. Because I'm a sahm, I can just sleep until my kids get up. I go to bed when they do, about midnight. They get up about noon, and the youngest was having a nap around 5, but he's growing out of napping now. I often get them to sleep at night, then get up again for a bit. My youngest (18 months)still nurses a few times a night (especially when he's sick, like at the moment). For naps, I usually nurse him next to me, either in the living room or in bed, until he's asleep. Then I either have a nap with him if we're in bed and I'm tired, or I get up, knowing I'll probably have to go back in to nurse him back to sleep again when he stirs and realizes I'm not there. If we're in the living room, I nurse him where I can reach the computer and just do stuff on the internet or play games while he naps, usually. Sometimes I'll do chores, but he usually has a much shorter nap then.

BTW, he does have a schedule, it's just not really one you're happy with right now. Slowly adjusting his bed time and making it fairly consistant (within an hour instead of the 4 hour spread you seem to have at the moment) should make a big difference in how much sleep both of you get.

Answer 3

You have to wake him when you get up, then give him naps as needed, and to bed on time.

Here's what I learned with my kids:

Don't think because your child is running around in little circles that he is not tired. Just the opposite. When his attention span gets really short, that's when he should have some sleep. If you ignore this, your child will punish YOU! Insist on him going to sleep. It's possible to let them just run amok until they drop from exhaustion, but it's cruel.

You'll be amazed at how much more intelligent and sweet-tempered they will be with enough sleep. And they need it to learn better. Just like big people.

Have some quiet time, to let him know it will soon be time to sleep. Put him firmly in his crib, remove the toys if he fusses, let him know you expect him to take a nap, and stand over him, rubbing his back or tummy, soothing him until he drops off. Hang tough, training him in this takes awhile, be patient but firm, and when he drops off you will be ready for your own nap!

Bed time is a little easier to take if you have a calming down time first- maybe a snack, some lap time while you read them a story, dim light, quiet music if any, definitely no TV.

And Mom, if you're not getting enough sleep yourself, you have to get sleep while your child sleeps. Get some help with the housework, or don't try to do so much- just get to the essentials and get some rest. You're no good to your child if you're sleep-deprived.

later:

JNS has some good points.

Sleeping with you in your bed is soothing I'm sure, unless your activities in the room (dressing, folding clothes, turning on the light, whatever) disturb him. Lay down with him for naps, and get your rest, too. At some point, though, you will need to get him his own bed, since you will interfere with his sleep and he will interfere with your privacy.

Up to a point you must make sacrifices for your child's wellbeing; but remember you must also take care of yourself to do this. In matters of reducing stress to you, what's good for Mom is good for the child. You want to be patient, sweet, level-headed, and alert.

Answer 4

He should have had a routine by now.I wonder what you did earlier.Well try playing with him from 5pm to about 7pm.Let him have his dinner and put him to bed by 8pm and read him a book in bed.Buy lots of books or take him along to find the ones he likes.At his age he'll have to sleep all night till about 5-6am.I hope it works.Luck.

Answer 5

well your sons not a robot, he will go to sleep when he wants im afraid.


what me and my wife did, and i hope this helps is we based their naps and sleeping around THEM when they where babys, we looked at what points in the day they got tired and would put them into a nap then.

as they got older and we could reason with them, then they had to adapt to our time, which is how the real world works.

Answer 6

put him to bed at 9pm and not naps after 3pm hes up way too late

Answer 7

wow i would expect a one year old to be asleep by eight at the latest. it's all about the hours you keep. how about picking him up and feeding breakfast at a decent hour.

Answer 8

no there's no way you can make schedule, i got 5 month old son here same problem. just let him free