what am i suppose to do.. this is a serious question.. my fiance wont stop looking at porn.. its disgusting, internet or tv.. i just had his baby 4 months ago and he has been doing it basically since then thats when i caught him atleast.. it makes me feel like im no adequate enough.. i do the kinkiest things for him in bed to satisfy him and he just wont stop looking at gross things. we have a baby and now things are complicated. we are suppose to get married this yr too.. waht should i do??
2007-01-16 11:05:22 · 14 answers · asked by <3 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
After the baby he might be seeing you in a different light. More as a mother and less as a sex object. It might be difficult for him to make this transition. But he is taking the easy way out and it's no excuse to be looking at other women that way instead of you.
He needs to respect your wishes, but you have to talk to him and explain why this bothers you so much. Maybe you can look through some catalogs from Fredericks (or someplace similar) and pick out together a few sexy outfits for you and the two of you can do a bit of role-playing sex. It's important that he still sees you in the bedroom as that sexy woman he fell in love with instead of the mother of his child.
If you can't get him to stop you may have a rocky road ahead of you. If he truly loves you he will give up the porn for you.
I hope my advice helps. Good luck and God bless you. You are in my prayers.
2007-01-16 11:09:18 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Let him know that you think he has a problem. Sexual addiction is a real thing, comprable to BED (Binge Eating Disorder). Basically, you have to try to make your relationship more healthy. You both should be aware that it will be hard. Many churches offer free pre-marital counseling. Look into it. Say you won't demand that he stop, but that you want him to be open about it with you by going to counseling with you. Let him meet some good men that will be willing to help him out with it, from a male perspective.
If ANY of it is child pornography, get you and your child out of that house immediately.
2007-01-16 19:12:02 · answer #2 · answered by Rebecca L 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
While I understand that you are hurt, try not take this too personally. Guys are guys - and ALL men - whether they admit to it or not LOVE porn. It's just a fantasy thing. Some men are able to resist the urge to buy or watch porn because their fears of their women catching them and not approving of their fantasies scares them too much. Then there are those men who are scared to tell their women how much they like it, so they "hide" it from their women. Lastly, their are those who are open and honest in their relationships and let their women know that they like porn and their women understand (I didn't say approve).
Honestly, if he felt he could talk to you about this so called "problem" you think he has with porn, he wouldn't be hiding it from you. You may want to try reading or watching it with him. It could do wonders for the 2 of you in the bedroom department.
But once you've had a chance to really think about this are you are still truly opposed to understanding what it is that really turns on men (sex) without taking it personally (trust me he still finds you extremely attractive) then sit him down & let him know that his reading and watching porn is taking a blow to your self-esteem. Don't dump him just because he's too afraid to talk to you about his own fantasies - this just shows that the 2 of you have a lot more to learn from one another. If you get upset about this, he will never open up to you with respect to more important issues.
2007-01-16 19:32:22 · answer #3 · answered by Pearl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is addicted to something that jepordizes his soul.
Pray for him and he must get help if he is to break away from it.
It's hard when people have a family out of order.
It turns everything upside down.
Your child is what is important now. If your fiance won't get help, just focus on bringing up the child the best way you can and learn from people like your fiance. Bring your child up in an environment that doesn't have pornography.
Your child, you , and anyone else who is in the grip of porn will suffer.
Break free from its deadly grip.(it will kill the soul)
2007-01-16 19:30:48 · answer #4 · answered by mr_mister1983 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men....there all alike, and they all look at porn. Have a date night with him and talk to him about how this makes you feel especially after having HIS baby. You may also be going thru post-pardum depression which make you feel ugly (although your not). Also let him know this can develop into an addiction and that you will not stand for it.
My prayers are with ya.
2007-01-16 19:25:40 · answer #5 · answered by Gordongirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get you and your baby away from this man or be prepared to spend the rest of your life dealing with porn and his perversions. He is not interested in your needs only his own so there will come a time when you don't satisfy him (for whatever reason) and he'll go elsewhere. Run, girl, run, before you're married to this jerk.
2007-01-16 19:12:00 · answer #6 · answered by Lynn K 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Take a deep breath and calm down. Really, it could be way worse, like he could ACTUALLY be having sex with other chicks. Sometimes after having a baby, you're no longer the sexy girlfriend, but someon's mommy...his child's mommy. Just try to be super sexy and don't be such a nag about the porn. It's just something that some men do.
2007-01-16 19:13:23 · answer #7 · answered by Sarah O 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Nothing, it's normal behavior, many people enjoy pushing the envelope when it comes to sexual-expression.
Maybe, get over Your aversion to 'porn', loosen-up a little, because if he feels as though You're trying to CONTROL him, it won't bode well concerning Your future aspirations for the two of You. IMO
Either that, or make Your own movie for him to get 'hot'-over, at least he'd be looking at You while he's watching porn-?
2007-01-16 19:13:55 · answer #8 · answered by Realistic Viewpoint 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
honey he is addicted to porn sex period it was it seems he does not see it as gross and vile like you do he gets turned on prolly masturbates alot and it is sick that he does that with a baby in the house talk to him tell him it bothers you and maybe look up the neareast sex addicts anonymas and if that don't work try thearpy for him and you and see what happens if he cares enough he will stop.
2007-01-16 19:11:47 · answer #9 · answered by kalisilverstar 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why dont you try gettin him a new hobbie.
like sports or gorun at the park.
you should tell him that you love him and he shouldnt look at that because you have a problem with that,
good luck
2007-01-16 19:09:20 · answer #10 · answered by Moi, 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋