WHAT am i doing so wrong please HELP........?

Question

Hi i need help really, my daughter who is there is so naughty e.g when were at the dinner table and say she doesnt want it or she has had enoth she will just throw it on the floor so i will tap her hand and tell her she is very naughty and put her in a corner for 3 to 4 minutes even throw so does nt seen to care she just laughts at me, in the morning when i take her to school she runs round the house laughting her head of because i have to chase her to get dressed but when we get out the house she just runs of ive tried putting her in a buggy put she just works her way out of it, ive tried them rainer straps but she will just pull and pull me and when i take her in the car she gets out of her car seat god knows haw she does it but also she always in trouble at school and she doesnt seen to care i have 2 other children one at five and the other one at seven and they have neave done this kind of thing of course am still with there dad but me and my husband have ran out of ideas +

its like her toys she wont play with them she will throw them at any one she we have taken her toys of her just left her the soft onces out

i mean my daughter is 3 years old sorry people

and whats worrieing me more is that she says" you bas*erd " and i dont aloud swearing in my house

Answer 1

am sorry but if i was you i would take her to the doctors and get her tested for adhd or a.d.d if you have neave gone throw this with your other two and your still doing the same things as you use to well its not your fault

Answer 2

Have you ever tried to ignore her bad behavior and reward the good. Sometimes children crave attention and if they are getting it from negative behavior they will continue with what they know. Maybe try to look the other way the next time she is acting up don't even look at her. When you are at the dinner table and she starts to throw food on the floor, take her plate but don't say a word and don't tap her hand she may see that as a game. Negative attention, such as spanking is not healthy, it shows a child that if I am bad I will at least get some physical attention. Maybe when she does something good give her a hug. Putting her in a corner has not seemed to work so maybe you need a "time out" chair, when she acts up put her in the "time out" chair for one minute for each year of age, if she gets up put her back in it until her time is up. She may cry, kick, scream or worse, but the goal is consistency and commitment. In addition, when you speak to her get down to her level and be sure you are talking to her, not at her. If she runs around the house, DO NOT chase her, it then becomes a game. Once she sees you are not following her she will realize it is not a game and hopefully calm down. What you and your husband may need to do is sit down and decide how you are going to parent her TOGETHER, it has to be consistent. Hopefully this will help, good luck.

Answer 3

I agree with Ruthie. You need to discipline her more than a tap on the hand. If time out isn't working than stop using it. If she thinks it's fun and games, then all you have done is turn a punishment into a game. We have an extremely high strung toddler. We spank her bottom for some things, put her in her room for some things, take away her toys for some things. We make the punishment fit the crime and use whatever is most effective for her at that time. If your daughter throws her food on the floor, take her plate away and don't let her have anything else until the next meal. If she runs from you when you are trying to get her dressed, put her in her room or take away a favorite toy for a while. For example, "If you don't put your clothes on, you can't play with your Dora doll until after dinner." If she runs from you when you are putting her in the car, or if she gets out of her car seat, she needs to be spanked. These are both dangerous situations and need serious consequences. Do not EVER let her get the upper hand. You need to stay on her constantly. She will grow out of it and you will eventually not have to discipline so much. Believe me, I understand, my daughter was out of control too. But, we taught her that we were the law, not her. I really hope things get better for you.

Answer 4

Sounds like daughter is running a power struggle spree. Do you have a routine in your home? A schedule where things happen at a certain time. Kids they need to know before hand; it gives them security. Now, you are consistent with her; i.e. when she acts up she goes directly to the naught place, and it has to remain that the naughty place is where she goes. Never mix disciplinary actions.
Now before anything happens get down to her level and tell her if she does so and so you will do so and so and by all means keep your word.
The main thing is you have to establish that you are the kingpin. You can do it. Remember when it gets rough the tough get going. Go Get her mom!
Also talk to her teacher and ask about her behavior there. Pre-school teachers are someone you can talk to too. You know she might have even better ideas than me.

Answer 5

You could take her to therapy. There may be a reason for these outbursts maybe an underlying cause that may not be obvious. You can also try and talk with her and maybe try some art therapy. Maybe talk to her and see if you can figure out what makes her so aggressive and possibly ask her how to draw what she feels like when she throws things. I hope this helps you some children are like this and are a little harder to handle just stay in there things should turn out fine. Good Luck.

Answer 6

sounds to me like you've let her get away with being the "baby" of the family for too long. You've let her run the household, so that's what she knows. You've got to be strong and get her on a schedule. You'll have to put up with her fuss for a couple days, but you have to be strong enough to ignore it or punish as appropriate. For example, with the food on the floor. Don't tell her it's naughty. She knows that. Simply get her out of her chair and don't let her come back to the table. Meanwhile, you and dad or whomever, continue on with your conversation. It will be hard with her screaming at you, but you can do it. With the running around the house. Tell her firmly that she must change her clothes and that you will not chase her around or you will not go. Then follow through. If she wants to mess around, she doesn't get to go to the store or the park or whatever. She will miss being out and will change her clothes. These thing MUST be implemented by both parents to be successful. If you're doing something one way and he's doing something another, it won't work. You guys have to agree on what to do if she acts out.

Best of luck!

Answer 7

She does not need to be hit, but must must fear your wrath.

To get there, well we all have a temper side in us and yours is not to the point yet of putting the fear in her.

So, There is no easy answer as to how this is done except to say that you now know how it's NOT done, which is what's happening all along now.

So the answer? get mad, put the fear in her that your capable of showing, the type of fear that a person would see if you were defending your daughter against an animal attack, something strong, when she sees you totally flip out of your normal ways, or senses the element of danger in your eyes she will fear you.

Volume is not as effective as tone but when they are both combined at high enough levels they can be quite scary for a little one.

And remember, this too will pass, and she will grow out of it, but she will still need to fear the unknown of what your capable of if she deosn't fear your wrath she will be a problem for everyone not just you it's for her own good.

Good luck your doing a great job!

Answer 8

Warnings of what you expect her to do with what you will take away for not behaving.... Kinda like if you and your husband where out and he came up to you and grapped your hand and said time to go.... I said now! How would you react? Now if he said honey we need to leave in a few minutes say good bye to everyone, you still may not want to go but it is a warning to what is expected of you..

hummmmmm first I think you need to fix the morning before school issues. Supper Nanny idea... A chart that helps her in the morning with stickers or some way of marking that she did what she is expected to do, say first on the list eat breakfast, now the war over food I am a four star general over this.... Start to give her choices, say Cereal or pancakes today? If she doesn't eat it and throws it on the floor, that it all she gets. Really stick to it.... she will not starve I promise. My daughter lived to be come an adult and a nanny! Plus sometimes she did it for attention because she would called out to her daddy before throwing it on the floor because I would just ignore her.... She also eat peanut butter for a week- quick call to doctor told me she'll be fine..........
Getting dressed.... choices again, the red shirt or the blue shirt.. type things to get her involved... oh yea don't be surprised if she looks like the little girl on the McDee's commercial with a wild outfit on... we been to the store with her in a tu-tu and rain boots before and when I was asked why I would let her wear that I answered she's not screaming and acting up so she can wear anything she wants! PLUS she gets to mark the chart she got dressed like a big girl.
Getting out of the car seat will cost you here in Ohio with a ticket, so she needs to learn that it will cost her too, does she hate being in the seat? In the car? I know this will make you late but you may try this on the week-end going somewhere she wants to go (grandmas maybe?) but pull over when she gets out of her seat and tell her you are not moving til she gets in her seat.
Are you wear your seat-belt? Tell her that everyone must wear one to keep everyone safe.... then again if you have to much of a fight to get in the seat decide that going to grandma's is out, she lost a privilege.
Three-year olds act up and test what they can and can't do. Not that they hate you or anything that deep. But they are looking to the adults to set limits.

Answer 9

You need to spank her. Put her to bed early. Give her a towel and physically make her clean up that food. She gets out of the car seat then you pull over and spank her hard. You are the boss and you need her to know that. she is walking all over ou because he knows that she can. SAhe runs from you in the mornings, then count to 3 by 3 if she is not in front of you spank her.

Answer 10

I have three daughters... 5, 6, and 8

She sounds like she is right on track!

I'll let you in on two little secrets...
1) The "terrible two's" don't end when they turn three.
2) It's only abuse, if you hurt them!