I need help!!!!?

Question

My mum hates me, when she came home tonight she was so mad because the kitchen was a mess, and she and my dad have been fighting a lot lately about me and my sister but mostly me, and the house is always a mess is one of them. I got mad too because she was so angry and even when i was tiding she just went on and on and then i swore at her or something and she just grabbed me by the hair outside to yell at me about how she'd had to clean my car after my brother made a mess of it before I got it for my 17th last month, so i just yelled more saying that wasn't my fault and so she hit me in the face real hard at least 3 times. Then she brought my sister home and yelled at her too so i was sticking up for her but my mum just got angrier and angrier with me. I told her i hated her and just stormed out. When i came back she didn't say anything to me for the rest of the night, just hiding in her room all night. I'm just so angry with her cos she blames me for everything! And now she hates me!

I do help around the house, more than any of the other kids, it's just that right now I haven't been in the house, this was my first day off from being at work and school all day in a weak, and I had homework to do when I got home so I went to do that instead of tidying a mess I was never there to make.
And my dad is jut as bad as my mum, he doesn't bare agrudge but he's the one who starts all the arguing with mum anout stuff, and that gets her mad. What am I suppose to do if I'm not there? Or if my mum and dad can't stop fighting?

Answer 1

I think the best thing to do it to help out around the house and maybe just keep your head down. After this situation has died down try talking to your mum a bit and maybe build some bridges.
I know that you feel that she is in the wrong (and she certainly shouldn't have hit you), but whilst you are under her roof I'm afraid you have no option other than to follow her rules.
I know it's difficult to believe now, but your relationship with your mother will improve over the years. Build up a friendship and you may well have yourself a best friend in years to come. I speak to my mum every single day on the phone - she only lives 2 miles away. I absolutely adore her and so does my own daughter.
Hang on in there - review your relationship with your mum and look at ways to improve it.

Answer 2

Okay, she actually doesn't hate you but she has gone too far with hitting you and you went too far by swearing at her.

She sounds very very stressed out and I have gotta tell you that as a parent, that when you've been out busy all day and you come home to a tip and this happens a lot you can quite easily lose the plot.

I think this is not the first time it's happened and that's why she gets so mad.

I think you should sit down and try to talk to her and ask what she would like you to do and between you come up with a compromise. But then you must stick to it, it's only fair that you do your share. It will lighten her load stop her shouting at you etc. and you won't get any hassle.

I do know about these things, I had similar experiences to you when I was a teenager......my mum went too far, she just couldn't control her anger.

Offer her a cup of tea now and then and hopefully peace will be restored in the house.

Best wishes.

Answer 3

Your best bet is too stay well away from your parents when they argue if your old enough too leave home then leave if not and you still find your unable too cope go see youth services in your town or city and see what advice they ca give you if any....

Unfortunately you cannot stop the arugments or the abuse you suffer at home but you do need too talk too someone about it..Its tough growing up in this kind of situation.But unfortunately you are not the only one who has gone through this kind of thing many familys in this day and age are just like yours..

If you have friends try spending more time with them when your allowed too rather then stay in the house..when you are old enough(you need too be at least 18)then leave home and live your live the best way you can...

your mother may not like you at the moment but it is doubtfull that she hates you and your dad well lets just say that somethings are best left unsaid.Over time the situation may change and it may not keep yourself too yourself and try not too give your parents a reason too do what they have been doing too you.

Try stay out of there way bide your time and make plans for your own future.Life at home may be tough now but when you leave it does only get tougher I hope everything works out for you in the end..

Answer 4

There may be more going on that you are not aware of. Actually parents do not hate their children. The painful aspect is that they are not enjoying you and that is not your fault.

Parents put pressure on children. I do it. Last night my thirteen year old decided to paint with pink paint and wanted a splatter pattern. She used the floor so we have pink paint all over the wood floor. I was thinking that she should know better.

But skills are needed. You may not be able to satisfy your Mom's expectations so start with this. Get used to it, stop defending yourself, it will not get worse. I would begin to increase your affection when you feel it is safe. A hug, or some contact and a kind word. If you keep it up the behavior it may be copied and the stress in the whole house may be lowered. The little victories over injustice won by fighting feel good but they do nothing for the future.

Answer 5

sounds like alot going on but she shouldnt be slapping you.
I dont know if you are at school college or in house all day ,does anyone else help with around the house dad ,brother ,sister ?
sounds like mum is very tired and you said she just came in was this from long day at work ?
it sounds from what you write (forgive me if ive picked up wrong) but mum is tired and has came home to untidy kitchen due to dinner being made and just wants everything to be neat and tidy for her instead of feeling tired and walking in on a mess she feels that she has to tidy up.
Parents also have other problems which they normally never tell the kids .. money ,husband ,work even illness .
maybe you should try and get the others to help out and see they can all muck in with the house and try keep mum happy ,maybe later when she has calmed go in and talk with her say sorry about the mess but tell her you will try your best but will get others to help and she cant get mad at just you.

Answer 6

I'm so sorry for you. It sounds like your parents are unhappy together and ar etaking it out on you. I don't think she hates you - that is an extremely strong sentiment. She sounds frustrated. Do you agree with her, are you doing enough to help or could you do more? Remember, you all make the mess so are equally responsible - work as a team to keep the home clean. If you think you could do more, tell your mom so and ask what responsibilities she could delegate to you. As for the fight, let her know that although you may have been disrespectful, what she did in hitting you was unacceptable. You need to be very strong to be able to have this conversation, but you will feel stronger in the relationship you have with her if you make the first step. Good luck hun.

Answer 7

Family eh !!!.......you have probably heard this a million times but too wrongs do not make a right.I think your mother is under a lot of pressure but having said that there is no excuse for physical violence, thank god i've got past those years of having to dodge flying pot lids aimed at the centre of my forehead.Do not be offended when i say that you are an adult now and i think you have to start taking control of ur current situation.Set ground rules for your brother, get together with your siblings and work out a rota for the household chores.Apologise to your mother but also tell her that you will not allow her to hit you again.Finally plan an evening out together, maybe bowling, and promise each other that you will not get upset with each other on the night, no matter what.

Good luck

Answer 8

I have a sixteen daughter and I understand that you are at a very difficult age, your mum does not hate you and hitting you is an act of frustration, try to keep out of her way until she cools down and think about doing things round the house that will help her. I hope the hitting was a one off and not something you should have to deal with at your age, things will get better. When my daughter falls out with her mum sometimes she will speak to me, don't put them against each other but try to explain to your dad how you feel, good luck.

Answer 9

I am sure she doesn't hate you. It just sounds as though the situation is really stressful and she let things get to her too much. If your saying that your parents have been fighting, that could be stressing her out, and when she saw house untidy, it was just what triggered it off. Like a volcano waiting to errupt. I am not making excuses for her, as what she did was completely out of order, I am just saying that from my own personal experience with a similar situation, but with my dad.
You both just need to calm down, and when you have done so, just try and talk to her calmly and let her know how you feel.

Answer 10

Oh dear - what a dilemma - Maybe you should just go hug your Mum and say you are sorry.

Could be your Mum is finding things very difficult at the moment especially if things are not so good with your Dad.

Is your Mum depressed, stressed?? Say to her that you don't want to keep arguing, perhaps she might want to see her GP,
it is not so good for her to hit you nor you to be shouting at each other.

If your Mum won't see the doc perhaps you should go and talk about it.

I'm sure you don't really hate your Mum nor she you and I'm sure she will be feeling really upset that you said that to her.

Please go see if you can make up. Those special words "I love you Mum" with a hug will go a long way to making up quickly.

Good luck and God bless. Hugs all round