Is it unreasonable to ask christians to live their own values FIRST, before telling others how to live?

Question

It seems that christians here seem very predisposed to tell others how they should live their lives. And, in our society, they do it very regularly, too.

They want to ban gays from marriage, claiming gays will ruin the institution of marriage, yet they ignore their own jesus-myth's tenets against divorce, and christians divorce like crazy (at a rate of roughly 1 in 2) -- and, in my opinion, are responsible for the "damage to marriage" and the family unit. Not gays... And adultery. Pre-marital sex... Whoa! It's all rampant! The killing and racism...

The list goes on and on and on, so I won't exhaust it.

But, why would it be unreasonable to expect them to LIVE THEIR OWN VALUES EVERY DAY before they try to tell others that they need to live by the tenets in their mythological religious text called the bible? For every scripture they quote against people, I can find ten that they ignore regularly... And, our Constitution says we don't have to follow ANY cult text. Right?

Answer 1

hypocracy knows no limits.
personally i'd prefer no one telling me how to live, but if someone's going to have the self-righteous audacity to do so they'd d@mn well better be living the way they tell me to!
to simply spread the work is being a good Christian? what word exactly are they spreading with their behavior? bigotry, hypocrasy, intolerance, hate?
"those who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones."

Answer 2

Because people aren't perfect.

As hypocritical as it may be, it doesn't change the fact that some people really care about others and want to share what they believe is a very important message.

The thing with Christianity is, that they understand they aren't perfect, and will never be perfect in this life. That is why they are religious, because they are working out their salvation, or are trying to become better people. Christ did not come to save those who are perfect, but the sinner. Just because someone is unable to live every tennant of their faith does not make the message incorrect or inappropriate. You cannot judge a religion based upon the members.

As to marriage, you are right that many straight people have tainted and shamed the institution, but that does not change the institution and why it was started, especially state sanctioned marriage, which has nothing to do with religion. Marriage is not a Constitutional right, nor is religion a governmental matter, which makes you correct you are not required to follow any religious text. But that's why it's important to understand that marriage (state sanctioned) is not a religious thing. States must only have a rational reason for making laws dealing with marriage, and must have no factual or evidentiary support for such reasoning. It is enough they feel the influence of both a man and woman is good for children, in addition to the desire to make certain their societies will not cease to exist. As much as you feel these reasons stink, they are rationally related to the law.

You do not have to believe as Christians do, but I would hope we could all respect each other, even in their imperfections.

Answer 3

I completely agree. I've always felt that most religious, Christian zealots only want to "follow" the parts of the Bible that are good for them. Anything that's conducive for them at that time.

The Bible has some completely outdated "laws" yet since they're in the Bible, and all Christians who believe gays are going to hell, always say they live by the Bible, shouldn't they be "obeying" those other laws or whatever they would consider them?

You can't just pick and choose. If you live by the Bible, you must live by ALL of it.

I find it all very hypocritical and sick.

Answer 4

Thats true, Christians should be held to a higher standard of morality and I encourage people like you to root out the hyporcrites and liars in the Christian faith. If we are to be a holy people, the salt of the earth, we need to follow our own morals first and teach by example before word. The old saying is right, actions do speak louder than words. Be a real Christian and not an all in your face fanatic, and I'll tell you, that is contagous, people are attracted to autentic faith.

Answer 5

Not only is it not unreasonable, it's exactly what Jesus said:

Matthew 7:1-5 (The Message)
A Simple Guide for Behavior
1-5 "Don't pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults— unless, of course, you want the same treatment. That critical spirit has a way of boomeranging. It's easy to see a smudge on your neighbor's face and be oblivious to the ugly sneer on your own. Do you have the nerve to say, 'Let me wash your face for you,' when your own face is distorted by contempt? It's this whole traveling road-show mentality all over again, playing a holier-than-thou part instead of just living your part. Wipe that ugly sneer off your own face, and you might be fit to offer a washcloth to your neighbor."

Matthew 7:1-5 (New International Version)
Judging Others
1"Do not judge, or you too will be judged. 2For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.
3"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye."

Now, that said, you can't reasonably insist that Christians be perfect and flawless before they share their values--and hopefully, their love--with others. Were your parents perfect when they taught you right from wrong? Of course not! You can only ask that Christians not harshly judge others while blind to, or careless about, their own shortcomings. Compassion and wisdom are in need here.

Addendum: You mentioned homosexuality as an example. So did Paul in Romans 1, using it as ONE EXAMPLE of human depravity. But after Paul lists a few other human depravities at the end of Romans 1, he continues in Romans 2:

(NIV) 1You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge the other, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things. 2Now we know that God's judgment against those who do such things is based on truth. 3So when you, a mere man, pass judgment on them and yet do the same things, do you think you will escape God's judgment? 4Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, tolerance and patience, not realizing that God's kindness leads you toward repentance?

(The Message) 1-2 Those people are on a dark spiral downward. But if you think that leaves you on the high ground where you can point your finger at others, think again. Every time you criticize someone, you condemn yourself. It takes one to know one. Judgmental criticism of others is a well-known way of escaping detection in your own crimes and misdemeanors. But God isn't so easily diverted. He sees right through all such smoke screens and holds you to what you've done.
3-4You didn't think, did you, that just by pointing your finger at others you would distract God from seeing all your misdoings and from coming down on you hard? Or did you think that because he's such a nice God, he'd let you off the hook? Better think this one through from the beginning. God is kind, but he's not soft. In kindness he takes us firmly by the hand and leads us into a radical life-change.

This is why every human being on earth needs a savior, and why Jesus told us in John 8, "Let the one without sin cast the first stone."

Answer 6

I am a Christian, and I totally agree with you!

Christian should spend more time showing the love of Christ, living a Godly life and less time pointing fingers.

However, we are all sinners, even Christian, and if you truly love God, you will repent for your own sins, not judge others, and walk in love!

Answer 7

Yes, it is unreasonable for Christians.

We only believe that there is good and evil according to God's judgement.

We DO NOT CLAIM to be perfectly good.

But that does not mean that we DON'T KNOW WHAT IS GOOD OR EVIL.

Do you do all things right that you expect of others?
If not, how can you, according to your arguement, judge anyone?

Answer 8

No it is not unreasonable.
I wish more people would truely focus on God first. Then they would come to realize what is most important.
If one wants to talk the talk, they'd have to be able to walk the walk, and no human will beable to walk the same as Jesus.

Answer 9

There's a whole lot of hypocrites out there.
I really appreciate and respect those who are not. Whether they're fellow Christians, Atheist, Agnostic, etc.

Answer 10

I don't think that it is unreasonable to ask ANYONE to first live their values before telling others how to live. Thus the old saying clean your own backyard before you peek in mine...