I need help i am a mother of a 7 yr.old girl and she is a pretty good child but i have a problem when it comes

Question

to her father. i have custody of her and my ex sees her 1 or 2 times a week my problem is that he wont go by what is best for our child.my daughter is being to have a weight problem and i tell him what she can and cant have but it always gives her sugar stuff and lets her eat from the time she gets there till the time she leaves. he has never had a weight problem so i know he cant understand but my child is in the 2 grade and i know how kids can be how can i make him understand since he wont listen. by the way she thinks its funny when she gets stuff behind my back so shouldnt it be her fault too since she knows she cant have it. plus my daughter tells me she wants to eat healhty and loose weight. i figure since he doesnt get to see her much then he trys to make it up by spoiling her but he can do that without over feeding my child please help. only serious answers only please

Answer 1

Try to sit down and reason with him. He obviously wants to be in good favor with your daughter and sees food as a way to do that. Plus since his time is limited, he feels a little guilty not being there, so if he gives her what she wants, she will like him and not resent him. He is being childish if he thinks that this is the best way to handle things. Have him go with you to the doctor and hear for himself what to feed her and how her weight will affect her health. You two are the parents and have to respecet each other's postition as parents, no matter what your differences. Just becuase you aren't together doesnt mean you cant GET it together, sit down and have a meeting for the sake of your daughter's health.

Answer 2

If you tell him to stop that. and he doesnt, you shouldnt allow your daughter to go to his house. since u have full custody, its your disicion not his. you should get a court order saying the only visitation he can have is in your home. when you are there, so you know she's not pigging out. because what he is doing is actually endangerment to a minor. how you ask? well obisity does endanger her life. It'll put her at risk for many things. and if you want the best for her. you would do that, I know it is mean but he is putting her life at risk.

Answer 3

I know what you are going through. I went through a divorce and two of my children visit their dad on the weekends. He lets them get away with everything. It's very hard. And it's hard on all of use who have to go through that. Your childs father will do anything he can to go against you. I don't think they ever seem to change. Sometimes i wonder if their goal is to hurt us. I would suggest strongely to speek to your childs doctor. And get your childs father to go along with you and discuss your childs weight. And that you want things better for your child. For one she's needs to be healthier than what she is, and for another reason: you don't want her being made fun of at school. Let him hear from the doctor's mouth what's best for your child. And what needs to be done in both homes, so she's have a better choice of foods.

Answer 4

Hi

Childhood obesity is a serious problem as I'm sure you know. Any chance you could pack up health snacks for your daughter to eat while she visits him? You could include fruit and thing like those 100 calorie packs of oreos or ritz crackers . Some fun snacks but with portion control. You could put them in a cute lunch bag or box so she feels like it's special and just for her.

Good luck !!!

Answer 5

Why does he do this? Is it because he thinks you're wrong about the sugar issue? To get back at you? To gain favor with the child?

When you know why he's doing it, maybe you can address that.
If he's doing it to spoil her, help him brainstorm other ways to do that.

If your doctor (or school or some other outside source) agrees with you, perhaps you could ask him to join your for an appointment and have THEM talk with him so it takes you out of the loop.

Answer 6

Well speaking from experience... My daughter is fixing to be 7 and I am going to court in a couple weeks with her father!! He has failed to protect her from young family members while she is at his home so after 3 years of trying to get him to pay attention and watch her and him failing, then something worst has happened! We as parents have to protect our children from harmful things! Not only is over feeding her irresponsible but hes confusing this child on right from wrong because its wrong and she and he knows it but he allows it!! You may have to put your foot down and not let him see her for a while! Explain to her that you have to protect her!!! My situation is a bit more extreme but it all boils down to the same thing ... Protecting our children and teaching them right from wrong! Good Luck

Answer 7

If you have custody, are the visitations voluntary, or court ordered?

If they are voluntary, simply explain to her father that you require him to follow your rules for eating, and that the visitations will NOT continue until he agrees, in writing, to do so.

If they are court-ordered, take your daughter to her pediatrician and tell him the above, and have him write a letter indicating that your daughter's health is being endangered due to poor eating habits.

Then, take the letter and file for a modification to the visitation order.

Look here and see if your community has a participating site:

http://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/public/heart/obesity/wecan/

You, your daughter and her father can all participate, sometimes at no charge.

Good luck.

Answer 8

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Answer 9

If you talk to him seriously, say the risks of weight gain and what about the kids who tease others. Since your daughter also knows it is bad, have her tell her father. If he hears it from her, then he might get it.

Answer 10

this is how you make kids anorexic. by withholding snacks and treats. it makes them think there is something wrong with them. you can allow some snacks but instead of the king size candy bar get the smaller one or split in half. and the way to get your kid healthier is get them active. soccer or a dance class and feed her a healthy snack. if all he is feeding her is candy and sugar then he isnt taking care of his child. all he wants is to make you the bad guy.