What can I do about my mother's behavior towards my wife.?

Question

I have always been treated like the black sheep of the family. I never fit in. Now my wife is being treated the same way. My wife and mother work in the same department and have to see each other everyday. My wife comes home in tears because my mom has treated her like crap all day. She's been ignoring my wife and when she's not doing that she's making comments that should be kept to herself. What should I do. I love my wife very much. She's the only one I really care about. I could care less about hurting my family's feelings. Remember I don't really fit in anyways.
HELP ME!!!!!

Answer 1

Sit your mother down and talk to her. Tell her that if she doesnt straighten up then she will no longer be apart of your life. Tell your wife to keep her head up.

Answer 2

If your Mother is attacking your wife at work then she should go to Management and file a complaint. Regardless how your Mom feels about your wife, she has no right to make her work environment hostile. This violates your wife's rights. She could go as far as filing a harassment charge at work. Maybe she could request a transfer or if your Mom is the problem, your wife could file a charge and request HER to be transferred.

If it is feasible, maybe your wife could look for other work however this is not always possible in the real world. Your Mother sounds very immature and you sound like a good man who cares about his wife very much. Not knowing anything but what you have typed here, I would say you are lucky. Any Mother that makes her son feel like the "black sheep" is not really a Mother after all. I hope your wife's family offers you the stability you deserve.

Good Luck.

Answer 3

(May peace be upon you) Take a deep breath and relax. Listen, I appreciate that you are still in the marriage (because half the men would have already ended it by now). I guess you really love her. For once, I would like you to look at the other side of the coin. Because of her mother's past experiences, she doesn’t want to take any risk with you. That’s why she is taking every possible step in not losing you (because she loves you a lot also). In this, she is going way over board (but she probably doesn’t realise it). Think about everything she asks you to do keeping in mind about her mother's past. Tell her that you will come back to your home only if she is willing to stop talking to her mother (completely for quite some time) and if you both are willing to discuss each and every problem either spouse may have. Give it a try. But don’t lose her. You are lucky to have a wife who loves you so much (not the way you want her to but, then, she does it in one way or the other) Thank you.

Answer 4

It is a shame that the two are forced to work in the same department at the same place of business. Is there no way that your wife could apply at other places?

Black sheep of the family or otherwise--moms always seem to be critical of the women their little boys marry. You may need to tell your mom to back off your wife--let her know how much she is hurting her.

Answer 5

Talk to your mother about this, tell her how you feel and tell her you've never felt like you've fit in and this is how your wife is feeling now. Tell her to stop these comments to your wife, if this doesn't end start ignoring her until she stops treating your wife badly. If nothing else works you might have to try to cut your mother out of the situation completly.

Answer 6

Well if you and your wife both feel this way, tell your mother that if she can't show the two of you respect then you just wont have anything to do with her. Do the two of you have children? If not, i guarantee you that things will change when a child comes into the picture; she at least will talk about you behind your back because she'll want to see her grandchild.

Answer 7

u already know what do simply because u said remember i don't really fit in anyways. and because said i love my wife very much. u can try speaking to you mother in a mature way. probably wont make a difference anyways. but u need to let her know that things need to change, if they don't she will no longer be considered apart of ur family.after talking to ur mother. tell your wife about the conversation with mom. if it doesn't change. when she bothers your wife at work tell her to ignore her. if it doesn't change. tell her to report her to the boss. if that doesn't work go to the police dept. get a restraining order. mom will have to stay away from her or go to jail. its her choice.

Answer 8

this is a seriou case.pls try and find out why your mom is having that kind of hit with you is affecting your wife.its all about you making peace with your mom.you have the master to open every door for your wife in your family.unless your mom never wanted that marriage and you neglected her and move on with the marriage.so humble yourself and go back to your mom.and give her some time.possible ask 4 transfer for your wife.most times,her seeing her always might be increasing the hatred.mostly,HAVE YOU EVER CARED FOR THIS WOMAN THAT HAD YOU IN HIS WOMB FOR 9MONTHS,AND GAVE YOU A NAME?think back.goodluck dear

Answer 9

Maybe your wife needs to find another job.. and black sheep or not, they still love you, maybe it's time for your mom and you to have a talk. Personally, my husband didn't say a word when his mom and aunt cornered me on a topic. I just laid down the law, they were not going to speak down to me, and I know what is best for me not them regardless!!! They both apologized, they didn't know they were hurting my feelings. Your wife and you need to find a way to communicate with her a.s.a.p.

Answer 10

Your wife needs to seek employeement else where. A little distance between you and the family would be ok. Even if it just the other side of town.

Answer 11

Tell your Mom you wish she would cut it out. Defend your wifes right to work without her mother in law making caustic remarks to her. If she wont stop then help your wife find another job.