Will at least 25 wise people tell me, what would they have done in my place? How do I come out of this mess?

Question

Was in a beautiful live in relationship with my bf. My family and I loved him and he loved us all back for 3 yrs. I used to travel and buy gifts everytime I got back, sex was amazing and he was my emotional pillar. He is 9 yrs younger to me and since i had the money, i lent him coz his problems were mine. Sacrificed the time I spent with family and friends to be with him. And then it all came crashing down, when he said he wanted to break up. He was cheating on me. He broke my heart and left me 2 months back for a girl, lonely with no one to run to. My trust was broken when i got to know he was having sex with other women, while I was away on work. Hurt, I wanted the money back. He said he was leaving town and will return it when he returns. Truth is he never left. He lied to me,didnt apologize, just said "I owe you money which you will get". Even more hurt, I asked him for EVERYTHING I ever gave to him, back...and he is returning all gifts and money, but its him I love and want back.

I feel terribly used and abused right now, and I dont even know whether his love for me was real, although he says it was. He lied to me so many times and I dont know what to believe. I want to move on, but feel terrible at him just returning all the money and all the gifts i gave him till date, because he is hurt. He says dont call , coz I mentally disturb him. He says he is happy that at least he has his freedome. I gave him complete freedom too, but whats the point in staying friends and suffering like this as if I am obssessed with him. Its been easier on him coz he has somebody to go to, and I have no one...Cant tell my family coz they will get all worked up and my friends have all moved out of town....What do I do? I am in such a mess...
P.S. We are both guys and he is 25 and I am 34.

Answer 1

u sound like a really nice person and don't deserve to be treated this way.let go.let him keep da gifts.u asked for them cuz u wanted to hurt him n thats normal considering wat he has done to u.u wanted him to feel half of wat u r going thru.for the money if it makes u feel better take it.let go n move on.tell ur family about it but only after u are over him.go out to new joints.do stuff u never did.avoid being alone or doing stuff that remind u of him.wat he did was imatured n so jus show him how matured u are n jus ignore him.u'll get over this and find urself a new guy but this time make sure u dun give more than u get and analyse urself so u dont make the same mistakes when u find someone else......dun give up on love!...thread carefully!...gud luck...

Answer 2

Well, thats a man for ya. All you can do is move on...if he loved you the way you loved him, he would not have cheated on you. He moved on a long time ago when he met the other girl. There is no reason why these things happen, they just do. We learn from them and move on. Being away from your significant other is hard on a relationship, I don't care how many people make it work, it takes two very hard working comitted people to make that work. Maybe he was too young for that, and he should have told you he wasn't happy being without you while you were away long before he found someone else. You can tell him how you feel and lay it all out there, but even if he came back, eventually he would get bored while you are gone like before and he will find someone else. You deserve so much better.

Answer 3

From the sound of it, your ex is bi and your are not, which is only going to make things worse. Things given during relationships are emotionally construed to be gifts, not loans, so be realistic and accept that the probability is the money won't find its way back to you. Sadly, I would recommend getting a full set of bloodwork done before dating anyone else. Stay incommunicado, and try to move on with your life. Work - depending on your career - often for a time will prove an adequate substitute. Hang with friends and family, they are your best source of therapy. Don't lie to them, it will only make it worse.

Answer 4

I'm sorry that happened to you but it seems that now the trust is gone. How can you still want to be with someone who doesn't care about you one way or another. This dude was probably for real in the beginning but to me in the end, he seemed to use you for what he wanted and then just left you alone and broken hearted. Don't give in to him and stop pining over him. Move on, I'm sure you will find someone that will treat you the way you deserve to be treated. Take care.

Answer 5

The Quran claims the earth is egg formed. As NASA has shown, that is not. If the Quran is God stimulated, you'll imagine God might want to get the variety of his own planet right. @faith is opiate easily it type of says both, curiously adequate Sura seventy 9:30 reads: "He made the earth egg-formed" (in some translations) In different translations, it says, "...spread out (Earth) like a carpet and Flattened." both way, that is incorrect. although there are different as against that announces the Earth is flat, so the egg concern comes up once (reckoning on the translation) and the flat earth fact is suggested various cases (in each translation.) Like I stated, both way, that is incorrect. reply: properly, like I stated, both way, that is incorrect, so how can the mistranslation to say that is egg formed be deemed a miracle? The earth isn't flat so the unique verses is inaccurate too.

Answer 6

Everyone makes a decision every time they are attracted to someone whether they will stray. It's not a one-time decision. It doesn't negate your entire relationship. He doesn't owe you love for your attention over the past. He has moved on, you need to as well. Someday you will be with someone and fall out of love perhaps. It's not a reflection of you, just move on.

Answer 7

What a dog. Cheating is one thing but to do it in someone else's house is just wrong. I hope you have at least one close friend you can talk to. I wish you all the best. Be strong. Start dating again.

Answer 8

Doesn't matter is it's 2 guys, 2 girls, or a girl and a guy...........sounds like he used you from the get go. Sorry...and NO ONE deserves that! Move on honey and find a genuine partner!

Answer 9

Man or woman, that is a terrible way to treat someone. Over time, your heart will mend. I wish you the best.

Answer 10

sorry dude u got used and it is going to rough for quite awhile. he should pay the money back..but you should have let him keep the gifts becuase a gift is a gift....just start trying to let it go.....go out meet some new people....go to some new places.....break old habits...it is a new year...start fresh....no one can control your destiny but you.....good luck...