there was a girl that had a crush on me, I called her and wished her happy new Years. i don't have a crush on this girl, but I thought it would be nice. The conversation lasted about 30 seconds. My girlfriend found out and accused me of cheating. I said I was sorry and said that I didn't mean to hurt her. My friend who I have not seen in two years comes into town. The night before he broke up with his lady of 2 years and was pritty bummed. My women got drunk and told him that I cheated on her and poked fun at my manhood,(if you know what I mean). This was also in front of her friends. I was so hurt that I had to go to bed. As I lay in bed she screamed at the top of her lungs how much of a loser I was. I heard everything she said and I left. When I came back I told her if she hated me so much I would leave. this was met by her punching and slapping me, and saying she said it becuase she loved me and wanted to be honest. After I left to show my friend around town. She called her father.
2007-01-16 09:04:38 · 64 answers · asked by Tyler C 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
who wanted to have a heart to heart with me. I refused, she then said that she cancelled a check that she wrote me to cover her portion of the rent. that I payed in full for. Now her name is on the lease so her student loan bills are lower, I am not, but I do pay rent. And now her father hates me, and I don't have any chance to make it better with him. but I kept my mom out of it. I suggested couples therapy, but she says I have to accept punishment for my actions. Any thoughts?
2007-01-16 09:09:07 · update #1
the call was inncoent, and yes this girl did have a crush on me, she now has a boyfriend she has been seeing for over a year. And I do realize that calling another women, be it harmless or not is not ok. I said I was sorry and I didn't intend for the call to be taken as me straying away. I respect her feelings and I see her point. but I don't feel that's an excuse to hurt me and belittle me in front of everyone, including her family.
2007-01-16 09:20:43 · update #2
no. that's not cheating and she definitely did NOT react like a mature woman. She jumped to conclusions, humilated you, and tormented your ego...all in one stroke. Not to mention she involved friends and family in a situation that was between you and her only. She's immature. Ditch her.
2007-01-16 09:08:22 · answer #1 · answered by bgsfnstldy 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Abuse is not always just a man towards a woman it can go the other way too. She seems very abusive physically and emotionally. You are in an abusive relationship and that is not safe or good for anyone of any sex.
She needs to get help but if her father picked her up I am gathering you are both pretty young, I would say walk away now and tell her blatantly why.
She needs to learn now before she gets older. As far as if you did the right thing I think you did and I think she was overreacting and is likely attempting to gain attention by being the victim when she is in fact making you the victim.
RUN!
2007-01-16 09:09:15 · answer #2 · answered by Lillithin 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to ask yourself, why did you ring this other woman? If you rang her because she is your friend- someone you see regularly, then no it is not cheating. If you rang her because you knew she had a crush on you and you felt it would be nice to her...as well as your ego, then it is not cheating but your intentions were not good. If you rang her in hope she would flirt/ want to do something with you, then yes I call this cheating. Too much alcohol makes people do crazy things that are often out of character. If she were not drunk do you think she would have behaved this way? Some peolpe do not know how to express themselves and instead of saying, "you really hurt me by talking to that other woman, what is going on?", some people will abuse/attack you to let you know that- yes, you did really hurt me by talking to that other woman- now I am going to hurt you! I feel sorry that she embarrassed you in front of her/your friends, but if they are genuine friends they will understand. No relationship is perfect and I have seen worse things happen. As for her calling her father maybe she feels he is the only man she can trust/ turn to in a time of need for comfort. Or maybe she was still in a drunk rage and wanted you to feel angry at her for leaving, because she was angry at you for talking to this woman. Talk to her, tell her you love her and to talk from her heart, say exactly how she feels and then you do the same. Do not let anyone- your/her friends, her dad, anyone here on Yahoo, influence how you feel. Love is a strange "thing".... Everyone gets jealous sometimes, if we didn't I think there would be a problem.......
2007-01-16 09:33:02 · answer #3 · answered by animalluvr 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your girlfriend is a bi-polar psycho and honestly your best bet is to RUN....as fast as you can! Jealousy isn't something that is easily overcome and if she flips out that easily over a 30 second phone call then imagine what she would do if you ever made a female friend. Girls like that are extremely insecure and because she feels so horrible about herself she's going to try and bring you down to her level (by poking at your "manhood") and such. If you love her and you think that this relationship is worth it in the long run then stick with it. Maybe try some couples counseling...or have her go to anger management. Maybe she needs some tranquilzers...something to help control her temper. You don't need to take abuse like that. There are too many women in the world for you to settle on an abusive, insecure, overbearing, jealous psycho hose beast! :-) Good Luck
2007-01-16 09:11:24 · answer #4 · answered by Love Tha Skins! 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, why were you calling the girl who has a crush on you? You were just leading her on and making her long for you even more. If you don't want to have anything to do with her, ignore her and she will go away.
Secondly, it sounds like your gf has some major issues with herself and other people. She seems very insecure of herself. What she did to you is almost unforgivable. I am not sure I would tolerate such a malignant and hateful behaviour, if I were you.
But I am not you. You need to make up your mind if you love her so much that you want things to work out. If you do, you probably need to seek professional help for your relationship.
If you don't, get out and find yourself another gf that will appreciate you and treat you with the respect you deserve.
Good luck.
2007-01-16 09:10:33 · answer #5 · answered by Great Dane 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Whoa! Totally sounds like this girl has some serious insecurity problems! What you did was not cheating -- although I think it was deceiving and leading the girl who has the crush on you on. However, that category of game-playing does not constitute cheating by any means. Regardless of whether you actually cheated or not, I would NOT take that kind of abuse from a girl or boyfriend. I say drop her anyway. She's got a lot of self-discovery to handle and obviously isn't stable enough for a relationship.
2007-01-16 09:09:25 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, you didn't cheat. You really can't blame her for what she said while intoxicated- feelings just tend to show up bigger and bolder at this time. They were her true feelings, so if you do get back together, she probably doesn't like your action, Jackson, if you know what I mean. I would just leave her alone. If your feelings are hurt that much, then there really isn't anything she can say to take the hurt away, right? Well, that's just my opinion. I hope everything works out or you!
2007-01-16 09:12:21 · answer #7 · answered by shondak 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, I wouldn't have considered it cheating if my husband did the same thing. I might have told him that I didn't like it, but I think I would only have been mad if he did something to try to be secret about the call, or called her right AT midnight instead of being with me at that moment.
It sounds like your girl has issues. She's insecure, a blabber-mouth drunk, (stop me when I've listed something that's not described above) physically abusive, a liar (she made fun of you in front of friends because she loves you???), and she's using you financially (to pay the rent). Then she talks about punishing you? That's ridiculous.
2007-01-16 09:25:02 · answer #8 · answered by calliope320 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should never call another woman if it aint your family and tell them happy new years. You were crazy for that one. What made you think she wouldnt find out? Im quite sure the girl has let someone know that she has a crush on you and your girl just didnt let you know she knew. You get me? She was waitng on the right time to snap off on you. But no, she didnt react the right way. She got drunk and acted out cause you know they say alcohol brings the truth out in people. Why would she call her father? She shouldn't put others in your business.
2007-01-16 09:12:00 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she has completely over reacted and I'm guessing this is just part of her character and that it's not the first time you've seen it.
Of course you weren't cheating on her. You made a phone call to wish an acquaintance a happy new year. Sounds fine to me.
I would defiantly count your loses and move on. Not all women are psychotic. Keep looking, you'll find the right one.
2007-01-16 09:11:45 · answer #10 · answered by Venessa M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its cheating Becca. What he's saying without saying it. "I'd rather talk to a girl on line than you." I wish guys wouldn't do this but it happens. Try to talk to him. Don't attack. Just talk about your feeling. "When you do this it make me feel like..." It is hard to fight a feeling. If you say "if i did the same would u be okay with it?" that statement will not get the point across. But I understand your frustration. And your not immature talking about the fact that you want to be "his only one". So tell him. Just between you and Yahoo answers: "HE needs to grow up and be a real man. Not playing around on the internet with perhaps little girls. Some people won't tells there right age on the net. " Why are they on the net in the 1st place." To gain experience or to be someone else. (a real fantasy) Maybe he's looking to get out. Who knows.
2016-03-29 00:33:58 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋