i love my bf sooo much but im going bck to my country this april to continue my studies for 4 whole years....i broke up with him but went out again since he told me that he'll wait no matter how long it takes...jus for the sake of not loosing me! he said tht he'll take all the challenges...but he will not loose me! i believe him but i cant help but think that he might change his mind. I dont want to get hurt but shall i take this risk anyways....i mean i do love him very much?
2007-01-16 08:29:24 · 15 answers · asked by gizela_b90 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
most don't, some for a while yes, and some actually last but on a ratio scale, most don't last.
2007-01-16 08:32:06 · answer #1 · answered by Mystee_Rain 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first key to success with long distance relationships is effective communication. It is important for both parties to be able to feel that if they need to talk or write to the other person, communication will be welcomed and met with active communication from the other. The quality of the relationship is more likely to increase if both people develop the ability to share feelings openly with each other. The second key to success is a demonstrated commitment to the relationship by both parties. What kind of commitment, and how serious or light it is, will be different for different couples. Being so far apart can be a scary and risky endeavor for most couples, so the third and fourth keys are a willingness to take risks, and the presence of a solid and secure trust between the two people. This doesn't mean that each person needs to skydive from a plane, but rather, that each will trust that the other person's social life in his or her own town will not be a threat to the relationship. Trust is so important that if it isn't strong, you can make a conscious effort to work on it, both on your own and together. This point leads to the fifth key, independence for each person, with a healthy level of dependence upon each other. When these are present, there is a balance of power in the relationship between both people, and each person can be autonomous but still get emotional needs met by the other person. Furthermore, with an appropriate balance of independence and dependence, each person is allowed, even encouraged, to grow and change as an individual, which everyone needs. It is, therefore, wise not to expect that your partner or yourself will always stay exactly the same as when the relationship started.
When these aspects of the relationship are healthy, the sixth key element tends to be naturally present, a mutual respect. Finally, none of these other elements can offer the relationship success if the seventh key element is not there, clear expectations on the part of both people. It is so very important that you figure out your own personal expectations of the other person and the relationship, and then discuss them with the other person so that both of you are clear and/or can work out differences in expectations. Without this, each person is working on a very different relationship than the other, and problems are likely. One final point about long distance relationships is that you make time together quality time, and build in some alone time during visits. Do things that draw the two of you closer, rather than emphasize the distance between you.
2007-01-16 08:48:24 · answer #2 · answered by Brite Tiger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to give it a bash.
I am currently working in a different country from my boyfriend and leaving him was so hard after such an awesome year together.
The way I think of it is, if we are lucky and we are that one in very few couples that makes it forever, then what is one year (or four years) in comparison to 50?
And if it doesn't work, then it wasn't meant to be, but you cant break up on the pöretense that it might not work, because it might not work with anyone, so nothing would ever last.
Give it a bash. You might go in separate directions, you might pull together and make it work.
Good luck, I hope whatever happens you are happy.
2007-01-16 09:23:24 · answer #3 · answered by lj 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your boyfriend sounds like he is prepared to commit to you, but are you prepared to do the same? Will you be able to commit if you have studies to do as well?
If you both want this relationship to work, then of course you should take the risk. And that is the key, you both have to want it, one of you will not be able to make it work!
I think if you can both put an equal amount of time & effort into
the relationship then you stand as good a chance as anyone else.
Be prepared for misunderstandings, & reslove them quickly. Do not play games with each other if you have a disagreement.
Finally make sure you visit each other as often as you can during your time apart.
All the best, hope it works for you.
2007-01-16 09:25:42 · answer #4 · answered by Kingbee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At the end of the day sweetheart it will not matter what anybody says here, it will how you feel and if you love him the way you say you do and you both understanbd how difficult its going to be and you think you can sustain the relationship, you should follow your heart and make it work because the reqards at the end of it will be so much greater
2007-01-16 08:33:26 · answer #5 · answered by Tigger 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no one can answer that for you, its all to do with you two.. it might.. it might not.. 4 years is a long time.. and there are sooo many factors you havent mentioned that could affect whether it lasts 2 minutes or a lifetime... you do have the problem that guys tend to wander a bit if you dont satisfy certain things.. im sure you know where im coming from
2007-01-16 08:34:31 · answer #6 · answered by Danny F 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Long distance (international) relationships can work out. Just ask anyone who has applied for a K1 visa (marriage visa).
If it was meant to be, it will work out. If not, no matter how close you live to each other, it still will not work.
There is a risk in any relationship. You don't know how it will work out if you don't try.
2007-01-16 08:36:09 · answer #7 · answered by A B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My dear only time will tell. Meanwhile live your life to the full and stop worrying about things that might or might not happen. Love always finds a way to survive.
2007-01-16 08:33:17 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know what your going thru, just persue whatever you did and if he really loves you he will wait it will be unfair for you and him to sacrifice soo much so, I mean i dont know where you are going but it sounds to me that it is very far but I think that if you love him like you say you do both of yall are going to be ok
2007-01-16 08:33:33 · answer #9 · answered by Belki C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mine has lasted 4 years, its been tough, but we both wanted it badly so we are making it work
2007-01-16 08:36:09 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it depends how strong the love is. if you guys are superr close than i think it has a chance of working. just make sure you guys dont loose touch!!
2007-01-16 08:32:52 · answer #11 · answered by leggomyeggo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋