For those of you who believe in spanking?

Question

What is the proper way to administer it to my 2 girls-who are 5 and 10 years of age? Should my husband and I use the same approach? Should we only use our hands or is a belt okay when they are very naughty?

Answer 1

I personally would stay away from the belt, I don't considers that abuse just because I don't agree with it, but it's easier to go over board with a belt or other objects. We always use our hand, but there are a few things to remember. Spankings should never be a reaction, but a planed event for a dangerous situation, direct defiance, or breaking a "clear" rule. Children should never be surprised that they are getting a spanking.

If you have tried other methods, and it's time for a spanking, my advise it to make it count!!! 5 and 10 years old girls are still in spanking ages, and should be spanked the same way by both mom and dad equally, granted the 10 year old should feel it a bit more then the 5 year old.

Stay away from the single swat thing people now consider a spanking. The best way, is the old fashioned way: pants and panties pulled down, over the lap. Spank until you feel they are corrected (different for every child) A red bottom is good, bruises/blisters/welts or other permanent marks are VERY bad, don't go there. If for some odd reason, you don't feel you can get your point across with our leaving one of these marks then stop spanking, move on to a different method. I doubt that will ever happen, if you keep the spanking rare and as a last resort. Give them every chance to avoid them, for everyone's sake, lol. Thank goodness some parents still care enough about their children to do the hard stuff too.

Good Luck

Answer 2

I think think bare fanny is by far the best way to spank. I know people get hysterical about this. It was one of the first things that the anti-spanking movement went after. But it is the traditonal way--and I think there is a good reason for that. The immediate point of a spanking is to give a good sting without causing any lasting harm. It is difficult to do this over layers of clothing. In fact it is possible to hit too hard that way in trying to achieve this. Also I know as both a former kid and a present Mom that a bare bottom spanking makes a much deeper impression--it makes the whole thing much more serious and memorable.

Some parents say hands only. I use a paddle. I think yours are old enough that would be best. You can use a wooden spoon, hairbrush or perhaps get one of those wooden fly away paddle toys and remove the elastic and ball. Perhaps you want to save the paddle for the "very naughty" times--up to you.

I don't like belts--I think they can easily overdo it.

At their age I don't think you and your husband need to use any different approach.

The most important thing when using spanking or any punishment is that it be consistent and never idle threats. If you are not going to do that you should not use spanking. It is a waste of time.

Answer 3

I don't think that is the case, really there can be close minded people on both sides. Some spankers think that whipping a kid's butt is the only form of discipline that works and some non-spankers think that spankers are barbaric. I have spanked my kids' before, but I do not anymore because I realize it does not work for me or my kids' and I also realized I was doing it mostly when I was stressed out or angry with their behavior. I don't think this is an efficient disciplinary tool. But, I do not judge a parent who gives their kid an occasional swat, parents aren't perfect. It is just not something I feel good about doing.

Answer 4

You can cause injuries with your hand, and leave no marks with a belt. I don't think a womans little fashion belt can really hurt an older kid. I think that the threat that mommy is going to take her belt off would probably stop the nonsense. You should abide by the laws in your area. If spanking really harms kids, then everyone I grew up with must be depraved. I remember this Italian dad chasing his son around the neighbourhood with a shovel LOL!

Answer 5

If you use spanking as a form of discipline, it's a little late to begin with the 10y.o. That's something that needs to be implemented from five onward, for specifically defined things (we spanked for lying, stealing, and disrespecting adults). They need to know well in advance that if they do "A" then they will be disciplined by "B" and both mom and dad need to be aligned in their philosophy.

I was spanked with hand, switch, paddle and belt, and never ever used a belt when I spanked. 99% hand.

But again, you don't *not* spank for the first ten years of a child's life and suddenly begin spanking for the most serious offenses. And you never ever spank out of anger.

Answer 6

For spanking, it is generally the hurt feelings that last loooong after the spanking that is the most effective; using a tool only serves to make you something the child fears, like a schoolyard bully. Not to say that I didn't get my rear end tanned more than once with a coat hanger or a wooden spoon, but that was over twenty years ago, and I know for a fact that a neighbor would have called my mom on it if she tried it now. I'm still glad she did, though; it taught me that some punishments are immediate, and to never, ever talk back disrespectfully.

Answer 7

1. You and your husband should use the same approach. It's critical that children do not get mixed messages from different parents.

2. As far as how to administer it, it's important that you never spank out of anger, but out of discipline. Take the time to explain to your kids why you are about to spank them (there should be a VERY good reason for it). After you have spanked them, it is important that you reiterate to them what they should do differently. After that, LOVE ON THEM! Drop the issue and put it in the past. It's important that you give them grace...

3. I would only use something that you can easily control - and test on you first before you go randomly spanking your child. There is nothing wrong with a little sting to get a point across but you MUST avoid crossing the line into abuse. In my opinion, a wooden kitchen spoon is one of the best things to use... It also serves as a great warning tool to set out in front of you if your kid is pushing it...

4. AND MOST IMPORTANT - Use spanking as DISCIPLINE and not PUNISHMENT. There is a difference here. In my opinion, it's ok to use spanking as a lesson to teach them something. It's not OK to randomly go around swatting your kids because they did something you disliked.

Answer 8

From my experience, I was spanked with a belt when I was a child and I hated it. I'm 23 years old and I still remember the few times I was punished with the belt, I don't remember why I was spanked but I do remember being terrfied before and crying a lot afterward. It seemed harsh to me back then and it still does today. I'm 5 months pregnant with a little boy, lots of spankings I'm sure, but I do not plan on spanking with a belt. A wooden spoon or paddle maybe, but no belts.

Answer 9

You should spank, but differently for both.. A 10 yr old can be spanked by hand, belt or paddle, while a 5 yr old can be spanked by hand and paddle

Answer 10

I don't like to spank my 2 kids however they do need every now and then. I don't like the idea of using anything but my hand. No matter what your approach to it is. You and your husband need to be on the same page. Also it should only be used as a last resort not to make them afraid of you. If you spank them for every little thing it will start losing its effect. Try positive reinforcement. Good luck with it I know it can be hard.