It's a complicated situation. My mother asked my if her boss of 15 years could borrow my 7 year old son's old baby crib and changing table that I had stored in the basement. My fiance and I weren't planning on having more children, so I told my mom her boss could borrow the crib for his grandchild and give it back when finished. Then a year and a half later I fall pregnant. When I asked my mom to get the crib back from her boss she said she couldn't ask him that b/c they still use it for their grandchild and she said her boss does so much for her she just can't ask him for it right now and that she will buy me a new one. Problem is I don't want a new one, I have the matching dresser and toybox at home, I want mine back before my new baby gets here!!! How can I ask for the crib back without pissing anyone off (mom or her boss) ? or should I allow her to buy me a new crib?
2007-01-16 08:22:31 · 22 answers · asked by Mz. Tanning Bed Junkie! 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
no i don't think it would be rude, after all i let her boss BORROW the crib, i never said he could have it. Plus the child is over 2 years old now?? he should be getting out of the crib very soon. I JUST DON'T WANT TO MAKE ANYONE MAD!!!
2007-01-16 08:29:34 · update #1
Your mom should be more concerned about your feelings than the feelings of her boss.
Just tell your mom that you want her to ask for the crib back. If she refuses, ask her for their phone number so you can call and tell them that you would like it back.
2007-01-16 08:28:44 · answer #1 · answered by Wendy 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I agree with a lot of the posters here. If it's that important that you have the matching set, contact the boss directly, tell him you're pregnant and would appreciate the return of the crib you loaned him. You might mention it's part of your matching set.
If your mom is willing to buy you a new one, she should be willing to buy her boss a new one.
However, think about the wear and tear that crib may have had in the past 1 1/2 years. Maybe you'd rather have a new one!
A thought I had is maybe your mother didn't mention to her boss that she had borrowed the crib from you, and wants him to think it was her generosity more than yours. Just a thought.
2007-01-16 08:33:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him (your mom's boss) that you are pregnant again and have the other matching items and you would like to know if he is finished with the crib and changing table you let him BORROW. Make sure you address the word BORROW so he does not think it was given to him for keeps. I read above that you said they still use the crib but it's not your responsibility to supply him with baby furniture. It's yours, ask for it back. I know these things are never as easy as they sound, I hate it when this stuff happens to me, I feel like others put me on the spot asking for my own things back. He should have already given it back. He can go to a yard sale or something and find one. Just my opinion.
2007-01-16 08:30:00 · answer #3 · answered by lostinflorida05 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well if your moms boss knew that he was aloud to borrow it, then there should not be a prob getting it back. Your mom can just say that you are pregnant, and you would like to know if they are almost done with the crib because you would like to use it for your new baby since you have all the matching things at home. Now if your mom told them that her boss can have it, then you prob wont get it back. Good luck.
2007-01-16 09:17:43 · answer #4 · answered by angel01182 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would be so ticked at your mom!! If you have the matching stuff, tell her to buy her boss a new one.
Go straight to the boss. Call him and let him know that you're glad you could help them out and hope they've made good use of it, but exciting news, you need it back! You'll need it back by ______, and would it be easier for you to come and get it on a certain day? Your mom might be embarassed and take it out on you, but you are right. She'll get over it and have more respect for you.
Good luck!
I understand your desire not to make anyone mad. I am exactly like you! You can't go through life making people's feelings the priority over right/wrong. If you are not emotionally strong enough to go against your mom, let her buy you a new crib and nobody will get mad.
It sounds like you learned this 'avoid bad feelings' from your mom, because she is afraid the boss will have bad feelings about her and so is making YOU sacrifice your wishes and desires. I can't imagine the boss being pissed. Maybe inconvenienced, but I'm sure he understood it was a LOAN.
Call the boss, get the crib, then mention it to your mom so she doesn't think you are hiding it from her. She'll probably be a little relieved that the situation was handled, as she does not sound like a doer.
Same thing happened with my mom, my rocking horse as a kid, and neighbor's kids. They had my rocking horse for like 10 years, and when I got pregnant with my son, but mom mentioned they still had it, but didn't want to cause 'ripples' by asking for it back since it had been so long all the kids thought it belonged to THEM! She bought my son a new one, but I felt resentment everytime I saw it, as it represented my mom choosing their 'feelings' over mine. They did eventually give it back, but I lost respect for my mom, and wished I had done something sooner.
My heart goes out to you!
2007-01-16 08:30:03 · answer #5 · answered by Margie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
see if she will buy a whole new set, toy box and dresser included. and if she agrees then give her boss the ones you have.
but if you are attached to that set then call her boss or his wife yourself and say "i was just wondering if you were still using the crib and changing table i let you borrow?" no matter what the answer is tell him you were wondering because you are pregnant again and will be needing it back because you have the set and didn't want to have to buy another one. you could tell them that you thought if they were still using it that you figured they wouldn't be using it much longer anyway because their grand child is old enough for a bigger bed.
they shouldn't be that upset because you have let them borrow it for two years and their grand kid is old enough to be using a toddler bed.
don't even tell your mom that you are calling. this way she'll have no idea and she won't try to stop you. plus if her boss says something to her about it she won't know anything and it won't look bad on her.
if he has been really good to your mom for this many years it sounds like he is a pretty decent fellow and would have no problem giving back something that belongs to you.
hope this helps
2007-01-16 08:46:26 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
At that time you did say BORROW. Well, now you need it back. If your mom is willing to buy you a new crib, maybe instead she could buy her boss a travel crib for his grandchild. That way he can put it away in a closet when the grandkid isn't over. They're less expensive too. I'm sure the man isn't going to be upset if someone asks for it back. He knew he was borrowing it. "Hey my daughters pregnant, & it looks like we're going to need to get that crib back from you." See .... easy. I'm sure he could afford to buy his own travel crib. You have every right to ask for it back. I like it when things match too.
2007-01-16 08:32:00 · answer #7 · answered by Kelli McCoy 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You should contact her boss and simply say that you are pregnant again and would really like the crib back. You don't have to worry about pissing anyone off... that's why you loaned it and didn't give it. A friend from church has loaned me her crib and made it clear that when her daughter gets pregnant she would like it back.. probably 2 years. I understand that and will completely willingly give it back. I'm sure the boss will understand, especially if you have the other matching pieces!
2007-01-16 08:28:43 · answer #8 · answered by shugarmagnolia420 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you really want your old crib back then just call your mom's boss directly and say something like " Hi, have you heard I'm having another baby... I wasn't expecting to have another one so soon.... I'll need the crib back before the baby gets here."
And if the baby is already two then they can start thinking about buying a toddler bed. If you mom wants to show her gratitude to her boss then she can give her boss a gift card to toys r us or something and write "for your big boy/girl bed"
2007-01-16 08:37:47 · answer #9 · answered by Matt's Mom 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would ask the your moms boss if you could have your crib that you let them borrow back because you are going to need it when your baby is born. You let them borrow it not have it, its yours get it back there shouldn't be a problem since you were nice enough to let them borrow it tell your mom you don't want a new one you want yours if she wants she can buy them a new one. Thier grandchild should be in a toddler bed anyways.
2007-01-16 08:34:03 · answer #10 · answered by oooooh!!! 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋