Can't stand being alone?

Question

I'm 24 years old, and a junior doctor. I've had problems with depression/anxiety/self harm over the past few years, and I'm currently on 150mg Venlafaxine daily which does help a lot. But I can't stand being by myself - I become very depressed and tearful and start thinking bad things. My flatmate is on call today, so I've been in the flat by myself for the past 3 hours, and I feel really tearful and low. I've tried to keep myself occupied, but it hasn't worked.

What can I do to be happier on my own? How can I learn to enjoy my own company instead of dreading being by myself and ending up turning to self harm?

Answer 1

Dear Junior Doc

Congratulations on being 24 and a junior doctor first of all :o) I am 23 and I live with my boyfriend in our flat with our two cats. I have a computer, books to read & a kitchen to cook while he is away. I too suffer from depression and have tried to kill myself because of my loneliness. It is crippling. I work part time.

Now I read books that make me giggle out loud, join up to silly websites like catster.com for people who are mad on Cats lol, and I cook things I've never tried before and get the boyfriend to try them when he comes home! (he is still alive lol)

Now I relish my time alone. It means I get access to the computer to burn CD's full of music, upload pictures onto websites / profiles (like tagworld, flixster, flickr, myspace or bebo) just for something to do and for something to look at and smile about when I'm down. Go for a walk round the block (as long as it is safe) and get the benefit of some fresh air & blow out the cobwebs. It is a known fact that exercise improves your mood!

Why dont you try writing down your experiences with self harm/depression/lonliness and how you have battled them over the years. Keep them in a journal or post them online on a blog for others to read and seek comfort from and perhaps they may contact you and you could make some friends.

Don't sell yourself short. You obviously are a very intelligent person and you have alot to offer. You just need to learn that being by yourself is, infact, a good thing. You get time to yourself without interruptions.

All the best,
Cole.x.

Answer 2

There must be something about yourself you do not like, OR you had a bad experience when a child whilst on your own, surely you are in the best place to discover the ways around your dilemma - maybe you could do research on the computer instead of worrying about your time alone, the time will pass more quickly and there will come a time when you relish your "alone" time - that'll be when you become a parent..!
Do you have anyone you can talk to about this? A sibling, or trusted friend at work? You might see a way through this place you are in and move on to a happier phase of your life more quickly than struggling on your own.
Best of luck!

Answer 3

You really need to speak to someone more professional like a counsellor. Self harm is a serious issue and you need to talk to someone about that.
If you have ny hobbies, like art or something, keep yourself occupied with stuff like that.
Excercise is very good for depression, so get yourself to a keepfit class every week, it will take some of your time up and you wil feel good about being fit.
Hope this helps x

Answer 4

I was the same but never self harmed. I've just taken up Yoga and find that it relaxes my body and mind. Try going to the gym or something so that you don't have to be by yourself - 2 to 3 times a week. Then when you do have times by yourself it won't feel so bad. Keep busy my friend. Good luck - if you feel bad you can always talk to me

Answer 5

i visit allow you to recognize this, a 10 3 hundred and sixty 5 days previous boy has no corporation being left with the duty of babysitting for everyone, now to not indicate his father's female friend's babies!! WHEW!!! How irresponsible is his father??!! How even extra irresponsible is the stupid female friend??!! If it truly is what your ex is planning, I advise no longer letting your youthful boy bypass over there to visit so he can play babysitter. a 10 3 hundred and sixty 5 days previous toddler choose someone accountable to babysit him/her!! He ought to no longer be left on my own previously the age of a minimum of 12 or thirteen. At that age, he should have the ability to sit down for his youthful brothers for the time of a particular time of day. i does no longer go away them on my own at evening at that age. back to the daddy and his female friend with the babies. CPS will come and take all the youngsters away if some thing takes position and there is no man or woman in the homestead, no count number what state it truly is. along with your 10 3 hundred and sixty 5 days previous being with the daddy and in no way at homestead, it would want to nonetheless be very devastating for the youngsters to be taken away. CPS will honestly take the female friend's babies. you'd have the ability to get your son yet whose to assert, CPS gained't placed you by some unnecessary differences to get them back. (CPS - toddler protective amenities) Father and female friend favor to get a clue!!

Answer 6

Are there any self harm/depression support groups you can contact in your area? Its good to chat to people who understand and they might know of coping strategies when you feel like this. Also a good idea to take your mind off you though, can you ring a friend? Do a chore you've been putting off? Hope that helps :o)

Answer 7

im not qualified in any way but id say to you that ur obviously a very intelligent person, hence ur job, ur also important to many others in whatever capacity. i lost my mum recently at the time i was off my head on amphetemine and ecstacy ive given up drugs cos of this, all of a sudden i realise the world is ok and there are good people too,really all im trying to say is even when ur at a low point theres always a way back.i know words dont often mean much but i promise they are sincere.

Answer 8

I suggest you get yourself out girl and have some fun. Instead of stopping in on your own, go out for the day and let your hair down, go shoppoing, for a coffee, meet new people, go clubbing that sort of thing. It will get you out and give you a chance to meet new people. If you keep locking yourself away nothing will change, just think this is a positive change for a new outgoing you.

Answer 9

I self harm too and have mental health symptoms, At your age I couldn't bear to be alone either now I am older, it has lessened and I value time with myself. I think the clue is to find ways to value yourself and find out what you really really like.

I think keeping busy is part of it for me, having lots of tasks and hobbies that you really feel like doing. Also having a snuggly time getting bathed and getting in P.J's and dressing gown and feeling cosy with a warm drink and good book - finding ways to nurture yourself - doing exactly what you like. A hand held electric massager is a good for soothing anxiety out of your neck and shoulders also there is on-line CBT course for negative thinking
www.livinglifetothefull.com

Answer 10

First things I think you should do is find a support line to call. Those can be of great help when you are alone & feeling depressed. You should look in the mirror every day & say outloud "Damn I get better looking everyday." Find things you enjoy doing. Reading, riding bikes, things you can relax & enjoy alone. Look on Craigslist.com under personal (strictly platonic). Find someone to have coffee with or to just chat with on the phone.
Best of Luck to you.