I am trying and have been trying for the past two months to get a guest list from my FMIL. My fiance' and I have made a list based on what people he knows to invite (his friends, his work and family). The only people left to add are his parents friends, their church list and any one that we may have left off. I talked to her two days ago and she said that she would have it to me that night. She didn't have it.
How should I go about asking her for the remainder of the guest list without sounding pushy, pushy or rude or a nag. I need it ASAP, but I don'te want to be a nagging daughter-in-law to be. Thanks.
2007-01-16 08:02:03 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Give her a deadline. Tell her you need the list by _____, that you need to get an accurate headcount so you can get things you need (invitations, etc.) ordered. She should understand, and hopefully won't procrastinate any longer!
2007-01-16 08:09:50 · answer #1 · answered by Proud to be 59 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm having the same problem. I asked my future MIL for a list, and she did give me a partial one. Not only were some of the addresses wrong (I sent thank you's for our engagement party and several were sent back undeliverable) but there were many that were not included at all. I have asked and asked, to no avail. I told my fiance that only people on the list will be receiving invitations. I have enough to do without having to beg for a list. I think once she knows that certain people will not be invited, that will get her moving. Show your FMIL your list and tell her that whoever isn't on the list won't be getting an invite. Give her a date (even if you have to make one up) that the invites will be going to the calligrapher, and after that there are no add ons.
2007-01-16 17:02:27 · answer #2 · answered by MelB 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps you could ask if you could come over to her house and go over the list with her. That would put her in a position where she had to make time to do it. Or you could ask to borrow her address book so you can get started-that will prompt her to intervene because she probably won't want you to invite everybody in there.
By putting yourself in the picture, you're not being pushy, but offering a hand with a job that may be giving her a little stress.
2007-01-16 16:07:36 · answer #3 · answered by Happy Wife 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I just got married 3 months ago. When it was time to do the guest list, I let my now Husband take care of his side of the list. I worked on the names and addressess from my side (and nagged my mom) and I let him be the nag for his side of the family. It worked out really well. Good luck =)
2007-01-16 16:09:40 · answer #4 · answered by Sara 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Take a copy of the list that you have made to her and tell her these are the people you and her son thought of. You are ordering the invitations ___________ and if she needs to add anybody (up to x total people) then as long as she gets it to you before _________ it will be all set. (ie I am ordering the invitations a week from Thursday, so I need your list to be complete by Tuesday at the latest. This is who we have so far, but it's only 30 people and you are welcome to invite up to 50. If there's anyone you want to add, please do. Perhaps we can meet on Tuesday or Wednesday to go over it. Thanks! I knew I could count on you.)
2007-01-16 16:38:26 · answer #5 · answered by Just tryin' to help 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Let her know that you want to send out invitations asap and if she doesn't give it to you by the end of the week they will not be on the guest list. Then stick to it.
2007-01-16 19:12:48 · answer #6 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Politely nag.
Tell her that invitations are going out in x days and if she would like, you'd be happy to sit down with her, but you are afraid that his side's list will get out late.
Then mail out what you have when you have it and don't sweat it. When she does get you the list, mail it out. She'll have to explain to her friends.
2007-01-16 16:30:30 · answer #7 · answered by apbanpos 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her lets go to lunch and bring your list with you and make her sit down with you and make the list out with you.
2007-01-16 16:07:44 · answer #8 · answered by kuel_lady_di 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is also your finance's wedding...he needs to get his mother to get the list to both of you.
He needs to be responsible for this without making it sound as if you are the only one who needs it.
2007-01-16 16:08:31 · answer #9 · answered by Miss Texas 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋