A friend is having relationship problems. His girlfriend is basically OK but she can be very nasty to him and he stands up as a man and she either rips him to shreds or she starts crying and blaming him for being insensitive. He wants to know what the deal is and she says that he can't handle her. If he could, they wouldn't have problems. Like he is less than a man but he is no punk, she just pushes the envelope until he is about to lose it and then backs down.
They are looking at a break-up. He is fed up and she just says that he should know her better then he would know what to do. He has tried to just sit down and talk with her but she talks in circles, changes subjects frequently and somehow makes him try to apologize for being so hard on her for being a flake.
She says she needs a more mature man who "knows" what she needs. He says he needs a more mature woman who knows what she wants and communicate it.
My question is.. Is he crazy/immature or is she crazy/immature?
2007-01-16 07:58:19 · 26 answers · asked by Magnus01 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
In this relationship he has not abused or cheated. I think she is bored with him and does not respect him. He is an articulate guy being driven crazy because he can't read her mind or understand her hints. if she were playing charades she would always be on the losing team. They have been dating 8 mos.
2007-01-16 07:59:50 · update #1
Yeah it's me but I prefer to ask questions about myself in third person to take a step away from the question and get some objectivity.
2007-01-16 08:07:15 · update #2
Its not as if the man is not a provider. I make mid 50'sK almost 60K a year. I take care of home first. I am an OK listener, not the best but I try. The more I seem to try the more she spins the guy in circles. I have taken her around the world. I have bought her diamonds. I have massaged her feet and listen to her problems. I have run her bath water and I cook and clean. What else can I do for her besides having babies?
2007-01-16 08:10:50 · update #3
Sounds like it's time to move on. Being tested on a daily basis is not a way to have a relationship. She is immature and insecure, and she's not good for him.
2007-01-16 08:02:42 · answer #1 · answered by Proud to be 59 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
WOW you know all the right answers! Just fish them out of your question, and you've got it!
It's obvious that she doesn't know what she wants and that she's blaming him for that. If he's tried talking to her rationally and she really doesn't want to tell him anything straight-out, then she's in no way ready to be in a relationship. She's probably not crazy or immature. Just not in the right time and place for a relationship.
Your friend should leave her and find a woman who is right for him and who will understand him instead of putting ALLLL the blame on him. Communication is key in any successful relationship, and she's blocking ANY communication that might possibly take place between them.
time for your friend to move on! and happily too :) He must be HELLA tired of her!
2007-01-16 08:04:46 · answer #2 · answered by julka323 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your friend is doing the best he knows how, if she is such a prob, he should leave her alone, however you cant help who you like or love, it just happens, although you can prevent a lot of things by walking away from an argument and let the other person calm down, if he really cares he will make the right decision , how ever if you tell him to leave her because of this or that and they get back together you will then be the bad guy and they will stay together because they have something in common, such as your advise,, even though you were trying to help, ultimately he will get tired of it and leave her alone if there is no outside interference
2007-01-16 08:13:38 · answer #3 · answered by buysellthis 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is her issue.
Yes men are sometimes dense, but a girl has got to know that and find a way to get what she needs without being a witch. You can pretty much read that nonsense in any crappy Cosmo type magazine.
She either needs to spell out what she wants/needs or your boy needs to tell her to take a hike and bring the drama and immaturity with her.
2007-01-16 08:06:28 · answer #4 · answered by Morty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Neither is true. She is 100% honest about his needs, and so is he. Sadly, they are not a good fit for each other. She expects a man to maybe get physical and be able to dominate her emotionally and mentally, while he is interested in a woman who will take the time to listen to HIM sometimes.
My opinion is that they better just break up while they're at it. They are expecting things out of each other that the other can never deliver.
2007-01-16 08:02:50 · answer #5 · answered by John C 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She is either unable to understand her own feelings and needs, unable to communicate her own feelings and needs, or both.
She is neither crazy nor immature, nor is he. Her behavior, however, is a form of abuse, and he should not tolerate her controlling behavior for ONE MORE MINUTE!
If they are interested in continuing the relationship, they need to seek counseling, NOW. Their counselor will probably recommend that she be seen on an individual basis, as well.
Your friend should schedule an appointment for them, and then inform her of same. If she refuses counseling, your friend should tell her, in no uncertain terms, that is she does not join him in counseling, he will terminate the relationship, and give her a firm, near-term deadline to decide. If she refuses, then it is time to let her go.
Good luck!
2007-01-16 08:06:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He certainly doesn't need to behave like an arrogant jerk. He is not a mind reader and she shouldn't expect him to be. It is important to communicate what you want. When you go to a restaurant you have to tell them what you want, they don't just hand you anything and expect you to be happy with it. She sounds unrealistic about her relationship expectations, and I think he should get out while he still can recognize that he has done what he can to understand. He can and will find someone who is more appreciative, and no one should put up with someones nasty behavior.
2007-01-16 08:04:53 · answer #7 · answered by kalea_kane 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She isnt happy/has someone else she is looking to date if she hasnt already.
Basically she is looking for some dude to step up and do the macho thing and "your friend" is trying too hard to be what he isnt.
8months is nothing in a long term you know..
The Dr Prescribes Amputation of the crazy beeeotch
2007-01-16 08:05:37 · answer #8 · answered by Prof. Timpo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell your girl to stop playing victim...you have tried to communicate with her but she's not good at sending her message across. well think about it...why are you in this realtionship? If the communication is difficult...it will always present issues. before things get anymore serious...take some time a part and figure out where this realtionship is going.
2007-01-16 08:04:40 · answer #9 · answered by Mary S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with your friend that he needs a more mature woman who knows what she wants and how to communicate it.
It is a common fallacy for immature people to expect other people to read their minds. If your friend is waiting for her to grow up, it could be a very long time (or never) for her to see her mistakes.
2007-01-16 08:03:29 · answer #10 · answered by Randy G 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋